A little history to get ya’ll up to speed. My baby here . . . Miss Demure Restraint . . . will be four years old on December 1st. She’s been a bit schizophrenic in the past, but she’s responding well to medication. I guess in a lot of ways she’s a reflection of my personal head space. So what does that say about me? Yeah, I’m a little on the crazy side, but then what sane person gets on the internet and blindly writes to an audience that may or may not be there? Only a whack job exposes himself to the potential rejection trauma such activities may and sometimes do result in. I think being a little nuts is an inherent trait in the artistic temperament. That’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it.
Anyway, MDR was rolling on down the road, enjoying the ride and ran head on into a block wall a little over two years ago. An incident, I can only describe as a “cat fight” broke out between a couple of commenters on one of my posts. I have to take responsibility as I had the power to not approve a comment, but was intimidated by the “acumen” of the commenter throwing the first punch. Then I felt obligated to approve the offended party’s response. Long story short . . . things got ugly . . . fast. I posted an apology and removed the comments, but something was broken I couldn’t fix. I struggled for a short time to continue, but it just wasn’t the same after that. I pretty much quit blogging until the beginning of last month.
I have made every mistake known to man in this blog, maybe even a couple nobody ever thought of. Some of the comments on yesterday’s post got me to thinking and that can be dangerous even painful. Yes, the smell of burning brain cells fills the air as I sit pounding away on the laptop. I figure I have from agonizing experience learned a few things which I feel compelled to share. I have to start with a disclaimer . . . there is NO wrong way to blog. What I offer here is just a little common sense (I know the ultimate oxymoron) and suggestions on applying the bloggy golden rule . . . treat your fellow bloggers the way you wish to be treated.
- Turn on your comment moderation function. You are responsible for the content of your blog and that includes the comments. Comments can be rather like an untended child. You take your eyes off them for a minute and they will run into the street directly in front of a bus. There are trolls out there people! They can overrun your blog in no time at all. Some of you are fully capable of dealing with them, but make it a conscious decision to leave your front door unlocked. Don’t imagine for a moment they wouldn’t do it to you. Well, maybe not you Androgoth. Any troll taking on a vampire king will quickly regret it. You don’t have to approve a comment that is offensive to you, your readers or your other commenters. Don’t fall into the trap I did of being intimidated into approving something you aren’t comfortable having as a permanent part of your blog.
- Respond to the commenters on your blog. Come on, it’s not hard. Somebody has taken the time to read your blog and leave you a comment. That’s a big deal . . . for me it is. There are many ways to accomplish this. The easiest way I know is to reply to the comment on your own blog. You can do it as part of the approval process. If you have time to approve the comment, you can at least say “Thanks.” I have known some people that send an e-mail response. I just got one yesterday, as a matter of fact. Still others will go to the commenter’s blog to respond. I freely admit I have failed in the past to take this simple step. I have no excuse, but stupidity and failure to engage my brain. I’ve learned it is important to let people know their effort was appreciated by acknowledging them. Duh!
- Comment on your commentors’ blogs. I figure if they spent their precious time on me, it’s the least I can do. I was never so impressed as when a couple of the “pressed to death” bloggers not only responded to my comments on their blogs, but actually managed to take the time to visit me and leave a comment. Sure I hadn’t gotten to their blogs through “Freshly Pressed” and didn’t even see their “pressed” posts until much later. Still, these guys found a way when they were dealing with an overwhelming response burden. I think I can safely say we all love comments. It feels good. Payback people . . . payback. Take the time. Read a couple of posts. Find something you can comment on. The upside is you may find some interesting people and places you will visit regularly.
- Make relevant comments and don’t spam. Read the posts you comment on. Personally, I don’t want to sound like a lame, inappropriate blog monkey. Get a feel for the tone of the overall blog. I would never comment on Always Curtsy When You Sneeze or The Waiting the same way I comment on Angry Rant or Barking in the Dark. It’s fine to say, “Love the post,” but try to say something pertinent about the post you are commenting on. Never make a comment simply to promote your blog. Its spamming, rude and jackassary in the extreme. You have a link back to your blog when using your WordPress account or by providing your URL. Set your Gravatar up to include your blog. Don’t just show up and say, “You should see my blog . . . assclownspammer.com.”
Okay, this post is now officially way too long, but I have to say one more thing. The people you see commenting here are the best. They have taught me to be a better member of the blog community and as different as each of them is, I believe, they represent what blogging should really be about. They are also some of the best damn writers I’ve had the pleasure to read.
Play nice and people will play with you. Be an ass clown and they will take their ball and go home. Oh yeah, it never hurts to link to your buddies occasionally in your posts. So, now for the fun part . . . its your turn. What do you consider proper blog etiquette? What are your pet peeves?
603 comments
Comments feed for this article
November 10, 2011 at 8:58 pm
John
So you’re suggesting I leave a comment, right?
November 10, 2011 at 9:04 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
I’m just want an excuse to gaze upon your smiling(?) face . . . ah . . . bitchin’ hat.
February 7, 2012 at 12:11 pm
keatslover
i really like this! perhaps because im new to blogging and was desperately looking for someone to help me out or a “100 step guide to blog for dummies”.ur article helped. a lot.so thank u.:)
November 10, 2011 at 9:17 pm
Janece
🙂 Nice post. It made me feel like I’m in some bubble. I’ve been blogging since 2005 (my current blog since 2007), and not once – as in never – have I ever received a comment that needed moderation. LOL
One of the challenges of November is commenting to each comment on my blog, and getting around to other blogs to comment, while I’m trying to do this NaNo thing, work full time, blog occasionally, and see my family. You’re really hit it on the head with the reciprocal idea. If I find that I’m commenting on someone’s blog, and they haven’t seen fit to comment on mine (after months….not days…I’m not THAT touchy), then I stop commenting on theirs.
November 11, 2011 at 1:00 am
Miss Demure Restraint
Maybe its the name of the blog that attracts the nut jobs. I don’t know, but I think you’ve been lucky.
You NaNoWriMo warriors are my heroes. Just the thought of such a challenge makes my want to cry. Good luck to you.
As the commenting . . . like I said . . . its your ball and there are 100’s of bloggers that would love to have your comments.
November 11, 2011 at 1:03 am
lorrelee1970
I think your blog posts would make for great NaNoWriMo writing.
November 11, 2011 at 2:16 am
Miss Demure Restraint
HaHa. Only one huge problem. NaNoWriMo takes writing something like 1600 words a day. I’m lucky to pound out half that. I confess I have an embryo of a novel (only about three chapters) tucked away. Someday. 🙂
November 17, 2011 at 10:45 pm
thorsaurus
If they are the “first” three, then you’ve done the hardest part. Now you can just go along for the ride, let your characters take you where they will. 🙂
November 18, 2011 at 5:25 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
I’m sorry, but I didn’t get anything but a white box on the blog area of your site. I’d love to take a look, so maybe you could provide a direct link.
I appreciate your taking time here and contributing your insight.
November 30, 2011 at 10:41 pm
Janae's Fallgirl Shepherd
Dee, i’ve read a few of the comments here and I have to say your responses are just great!
November 30, 2011 at 10:43 pm
Janae's Fallgirl Shepherd
As for that post a day and book thing- I can barely keep up to post once a month(“-“)
December 5, 2011 at 9:30 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
I hear ya! I’m struggling with a post a week and keeping up with comments. LOL.
December 5, 2011 at 9:30 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
I’m afraid I’m beginning to sound rather repetetious. Sorry to be so long in replying.
Thanks again.
November 17, 2011 at 9:29 pm
vent2u
Glad to know somebody else is taking on the NaNo thing… good show!
November 18, 2011 at 12:17 am
rastelly
I’m like that – but, if my comments on
their blogs get responces, I often keep
in touch. If my prompting hits a wall –
I assume they fear I’m stalking them
and quit.
November 18, 2011 at 7:12 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
That’s what I do too. Nobody wants to feel like a stalker and that’s why replies are so important. Thanks again.
November 10, 2011 at 9:36 pm
philosophermouseofthehedge
I always get a chuckle when I read your “I promise we aren’t going over a cliff or anything. Well, at least not a very tall one” Such a nice (honest) reassurance in a tricky world. (Sorry you had difficulties with a few weirdies)
November 11, 2011 at 1:01 am
Miss Demure Restraint
It was a long time ago and the bloggers I’ve connected with this time around are all super terrific.
November 10, 2011 at 9:39 pm
Scott Mitchell
Great post. I need to be better with the 4 suggestions. Especially replying to comments.
November 11, 2011 at 1:04 am
Miss Demure Restraint
But you do visit and “like” blogs all the time. I know. I see you all over the place. I probably should have mentioned the whole “like” thing, but I’m still getting use to it myself.
Besides any man the writes the way you do . . . sigh . . . gets a lot of leeway in my book.
November 10, 2011 at 9:52 pm
MisplacedBoy
Love the post! I strongly agree about people who comment just to link back to their own blog, and I have said so at my blog: http://misplacedboy.wordpress.com/
I also had a catfight break out between two of the commenters on my blog: http://misplacedboy.wordpress.com/ but since I knew them both from Facebook I was able to be a peacemaker and calm things down. It was just a misunderstanding.
It’s an honor to read your work and be included among your bloggy friends, and it was a special honor to have you do a guest post at my blog: http://misplacedboy.wordpress.com/
I am grateful for your friendship and would never do anything to betray it.
http://misplacedboy.wordpress.com/
November 11, 2011 at 1:05 am
Miss Demure Restraint
All I can say is . . . I love you Joe.
November 11, 2011 at 1:59 am
MisplacedBoy
http://itsmutual.mdristhebest
November 11, 2011 at 2:37 am
Miss Demure Restraint
🙂
November 17, 2011 at 6:28 pm
emjayandthem.com
ha ha ha ha! That IS my pet peeve … the “extra” link back. Come visit, we get it 🙂
wonderful post & awesome comment, misplaced boi
Cheers!
MJ
November 17, 2011 at 7:33 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
That’s the one that bothers me most . . . especially when I start seeing the exact same comment all over the blogosphere.
But speaking of links back . . . you don’t have your blog on your Gravatar profile and you didn’t include a URL on your comment. I can’t come see you. I don’t know where your blog lives.
If you can, leave me a link back. Its totally appropriate when you are asked.
Thank you for taking the time to, not only read the post, but for commenting as well.
November 17, 2011 at 7:16 pm
dinkerson
Lol! This is to funny, MisplacedBoy. And as for the blog post, very well put, and snarky only in the most appropriate way.
November 18, 2011 at 12:01 am
Miss Demure Restraint
Yes, Misplaced Boy is one of my favorite commenters and someone I consider a blog friend. Please check out his blog. Its great. He’s in my Blogroll.
I greatly appreciate your comment and hope I raised the Freshly Pressed bar just a little in your mind.
November 18, 2011 at 3:47 am
dinkerson
I will scurry right over to the boy’s blog. You sure did raise the bar. An oversight, perhaps, on the part of the FP gods. One of us bottom dwellers making to the 16th floor!? Scandalous!
Again, what a smart post.
As an aside, I’m going to have to start using the term “ass clown” more often. What a perfect description of so many frustrating people and things.
November 18, 2011 at 9:00 am
Miss Demure Restraint
I’m approving you out of sequence here becuase I happened to see you in the pile of comments I have to get through. I really am glad to get your approval, so I won’t have to delete this post. I’m not willing to release my bottom dwellers club membership. I figure this will all shake out and things will be business as usual soon enough.
I was more than a little surprised the WordPress gods “Pressed” a post using “ass clown.” Please use it freely.
November 10, 2011 at 10:40 pm
Androgoth
This is a very interesting posting as it highlights the very good and the very bad of networking, and believe me I have had some real battles, not much here in WordPress apart from the annoying little hectors that sometimes try their luck with me, but on WLS the real hard liners were always in full swing as it were, all with an opinion and raring to do battle to the death 🙂 Well maybe not that extreme but they had their moments I can tell you… You know there are some truly unbelievable characters that frequent these network arenas and I usually meet most of those 🙂 lol
But seriously Miss. D we are supposed to be a community thriving with our everyday postings, our commenting and replying to comments on our work as you have already suggested, we have the opportunity to take part in something rather unique, and as we engage in our quest towards offering the community in which we write something worthwhile to read, we can also enjoy the many different aspects of blogging, poetry and short stories, photography and artists that add their fine paintings and drawings, even diaries that are quite personal in some respects, and yet they too are part of our general readership.
This WorPress is not just an environment for the most talented wordsmiths of our world, it is for everyone to take a leading role, to offer their own brand of entertainment, and I can honestly say that I have been entertained by many writers, photographers, artists and would-be-authors some of which have little or no true knowledge of the written word, and of course the very talented individuals that write in their very own style, everyone here has a voice, but we as a combined family of writers and varying artists must remember that all of us have feelings and as you have said previously Miss. D, there are those that nit-pick and find fault at every opportunity, these are the ones to be wary of, they seek only to ridicule or blatantly crush someone’s work just because it doesn’t match their own egos and ideals, or that they are simply too ignorant to recognise something rather unique.
WordPress and alternative networks are where friendships can be forged, and sometimes through the most unlikeliest of places, I mean of course that almost anyone can comment on our work as they are linked together, indeed through lots of adventuring we can enjoy all kinds of different works, such as comic strips, hobbies of all descriptions and other blogging networks that all have a wonderful story to tell, indeed there is a vast amount of skilful and good mannered people out there and all we have to do to take part in all of this wonder, is to be there.
Happy blogging Miss. D and Everyone
Yes it is another very long comment this one 🙂 😉 lol
Have a lovely rest of day and a wonderful evening Miss. D and thank you for offering such a wickedly enjoyable read 🙂 Excellent…
Androgoth XXx
November 11, 2011 at 1:14 am
Miss Demure Restraint
Thank you Androgoth. As always your comments are thoughful and relevant. You are definitely one the bloggers that I have learned from and I’m very proud to be among your circle of friends.
Have a frightful, delightful night and tomorrow,
Miss D xxx
November 17, 2011 at 7:11 pm
rsmithing
You say it all in two words right there. “Thoughtful and relevant.” Or, “be thoughtful and relevant.” Well, maybe three words. 😉 Anyway, superb post, and, being sorta new at this, I appreciate the confirmation you offer on some points I’ve been noticing thus far. Very glad to have found this, and congrats on making Freshly Pressed!
November 17, 2011 at 11:35 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
Thank you for the “thoughtful and relevant” comment. They are always welcome.
Thank you also for the little musical break. I brightened my spirit. Mr. Laval seems truly gifted.
November 11, 2011 at 1:33 am
MisplacedBoy
I second everything Androgoth said, and I love the community that we are creating here…and especially that MDR is in it!
November 11, 2011 at 2:20 am
Miss Demure Restraint
I love this place too. I never imagined it could be like this. I seem to be smiling all the time. I will always remember you were my first when I got back. 😉
November 17, 2011 at 9:31 pm
vent2u
Whoo Hoo, well said. Everyone does have a voice. Newbie here.
November 10, 2011 at 11:28 pm
jdsomphalos
New to your site, MDR, I was curious as to the tale of the hiatus you’ve made allusion to in the past. Now you’ve filled in the blanks. Great post, and though I don’t return comment every time, be sure I’m thankful and reading every word you tap out. Keep it up, Jeff
November 11, 2011 at 1:23 am
Miss Demure Restraint
I don’t think its a one-for-one thing so much as the acknowledgment and expression of appreciation. We all get busy and have things like “technical difficulties,” but its like Janece said. I don’t think any of us have such sensitive feelings as to get all butt hurt over someone missing a reply or two or three or four. Its the people that never respond, never participate and then wonder why nobody is visiting them or commenting on their blog.
Speaking of being delinquent, I owe you an e-mail. Trust me, I’m trying to get to it. You know . . . running as fast as I can. You’ll get it soon. Sorry ;(
November 10, 2011 at 11:53 pm
barkinginthedark
MDR, i actually don’t mind a negative comment since i think it says more about the commenter than it does about me. having said that, i certainly agree wholeheartedly with the rest. I always try to comment relevantly to my fellow blogger’s posts…and i REALLY appreciate the same. it surprises me (or does it – hmmm?) at how many people read, hit “like”, and while i’m glad they did that, just leave it at that… i certainly appreciate the intelligent, witty, comments you’ve always left for me.(and thanks for the kind words and plug herein) well written, good post/rant girl. continue…
November 11, 2011 at 1:52 am
Miss Demure Restraint
Now how did I know that you’d be one of the tough guys . . . ergo my statement that some of my blogger friends could more than handle the trolls. I’m still undecided on the whole “like” process. I certainly don’t think it replaces a comment, but I confess . . . I’ve done it. Its usually on a blog I’ve commented my pants off on and figured I should give it a break. It sort of goes with the tone and feeling you get from the blog. If I’m commenting a lot and suddenly the other blogger stops coming around, I usually think I’ve either said something wrong or just over stayed my welcome and try backing off for a bit. Other places . . . like your’s . . . I don’t give a shit if I comment on every post. I like it, I’m commenting.
As for the plug . . . I’m shameless and plan to do a lot more plugging. Why? Because I can.
Thanks Tony.
November 11, 2011 at 12:03 am
prenin
That sounds about right Miss D! 🙂
Some people comment on my blog, but if we have a conversation going it’s usually a case of one of us playing host.
The one thing I have learned is that there’s nowt as strange as folks and so we have to adapt to each one.
Thanks for the kind words hun – I’m still going to complain and see what the result will be, but it’ll either go badly or not, because there’s no way of telling.
Given events I have witnessed I can bet money I’ll just get a big, fat, apology – in short, worse then nothing…
Love and hugs!
Prenin.
November 11, 2011 at 2:00 am
Miss Demure Restraint
Thanks for the vote of confidence here, Prenin.
You’re probably right about the “big, fat apology.” Still they are going to hate doing it and that’s worth something. You hang on . . . Friday’s almost here and things will be better.
XOXO,
Miss D
November 11, 2011 at 3:32 am
prenin
I hope so hun – it’s 3.30am here and I’m still wide awake…
Love and hugs!
Prenin.
November 11, 2011 at 3:39 am
Miss Demure Restraint
Go to sleep Sweet Prince. Tomorrow will get here all the faster and you will be better prepared to face it.
Of course, I was up writing until 3AM last night myself. 🙂
Miss D
November 11, 2011 at 12:44 am
zendictive
great lesson on blogging… I don’t usually respond to a comment unless a question is asked, but I have been only doing this for three months ans still can’t figure out all my widgets (grin) or my blog roll… it doesn’t taste like an egg roll (~_~)
November 11, 2011 at 2:12 am
Miss Demure Restraint
I have so totally neglected my blogroll. I’m ashamed and need to make it a higher priority. Like I said . . . there are many ways to respond and you seem to be doing okay to me. Remember NO wrong way to blog.
Mmmm, egg roll. Now I’m hungry. 😉
November 11, 2011 at 1:01 am
lorrelee1970
I don’t know. I’m so new to this, but thanks for all your tips. Pet peeves? I guess I wouldn’t like someone to tell me how much I suck, but not everyone is going to like everything.
November 11, 2011 at 2:13 am
Miss Demure Restraint
I don’t think you suck at all. I think you are snarky and funny and I enjoy your blog very much!
I also appreciate all your comments here at MDR.
November 11, 2011 at 1:41 am
Doc
So far I’ve been able to reply to everyone who has ever commented on any of my posts. No matter if I have 1 or 100 comments, I will reply. That is a promise I made to myself when I first started blogging. If someone “Likes” me, I will check out their blog and find a post that I “Like” and will let them know. If someone follows me, I will certainly follow them. But I am tired of following and commenting on other peoples posts who can’t seem to find the time to return the favor. For several days I have been thinking about weeding through the list of blogs I follow. This post of yours came at a very opportune moment for me. I thought maybe I was being petty. Now, not so much. OK, maybe a little.
November 11, 2011 at 2:24 am
Miss Demure Restraint
OMG . . . You have just defined the crudo I have been following for the last month. You are right too. About all of it. I’m not sure I’m quite to the point of “weeding” the garden, but I can see the signs and believe there will be a day the bushes will need to be trimmed. It can grow to be a huge undertaking and I don’t ever want to neglect the blogs that have been so supportive of me.
November 11, 2011 at 2:56 am
Wayside Artist
Okay! Great post! Number 3 has been my blogging plan since I started over again with blogging on WordPress. Visiting blogs to leave comments (even if I read the post in Google Reader or email) has given me a sense of community with many bloggers. Blog rolls are terrific ways to find new people to read. Also leaving comments and responding to comments has helped my art. Many, many good artists have stopped by to leave helpful, pertinent advice on my work. I’ve improved because they’ve taken the time to leave a short note. I want to do that too…if even to let someone without any comments at all know that someone is reading their blog.
Thanks Miss D!
November 11, 2011 at 3:37 am
Miss Demure Restraint
I too love finding a new or little visited site. I also like being the first to comment on a post I know with have a ton of comments. Its tough something as I do have other responsibilities to attend to . . . like fixing dinner . . . like right now.
Thank you for taking the time to stop and comment.
November 11, 2011 at 7:33 am
ladywithatruck
Excellent post, i haven’t been At this long myself, about 7 months but only started getting comments the last 4 months. I always try to reply to any comments but I was going to ask about the “Like” button. If I like a post but don’t have a comment I’ve just hit the Like button. But I have notIced that some people (Miss D being one) comment and hit “Like”, Isn’t that redundant? Is it rude or less of a compliment to hit Like and not type “I liked your post”.
I love getting comments and Like’s, and I love blogging! I had no idea there was such a “blogger community”, and never thought I would enjoy it as much as I do or get so much out of it, like meeting all the friendly, unique and interesting people. I am so grateful for everyone who takes the time to stop by my blog and give their opinion.
I have had some real belly laughs, the laugh out loud all by yourself kinda laugh, the kind you where you find yourself smiling hours later, and I’ve had a really good cry reading about someone else’s pain.
This blogging stuff is great! And this is a great post Miss D! 🙂
November 11, 2011 at 8:03 am
Miss Demure Restraint
In a sense, I’m newer than you here with all the changes and my long time away. I will always “Like” a post I like. I will comment when I have something to say. I almost never have something to say on a post I don’t like. Yeah, its probably redundant as all get out, but its just a habit I’ve gotten into. I still haven’t figured out the proper etiquette for using the “Like” button.
Thanks for stopping by so late. I think you’re in the same time zone as I am and it gets pretty quiet in the Blogosphere this time of day/night. Its nice to see somebody else burning the midnight oil.
November 11, 2011 at 2:14 pm
Phil's Lounge
Hey Miss D,
Another primate reference…”again”…lol!
Thanks for sharing honey, I was actually going to email you concerning your reason for your sabbatical…in reading your post, I get the picture.
I think you have pretty much covered most things…I did a very similar post while on WLS (Windows Live Spaces) called ‘Blog Netiquette’.
I leave my comment moderation on for new people, from past experiences and a recent one, if I didn’t I would have to do some serious repairs.
Those on my ‘Fellow Bloggers’ list, your good self included, are trusted and are given free reign to share your thoughts on whatever you want to.
It may sound dangerous (to some) to do that…I’m no Jeremy Springer, Montel or Dr. Phil (well not that one) but I am able to deal with strong opposing views and help everyone to show a bit of respect to others in my lounge. 😉
I had my long break, which included trying to Blog incognito due to the offline problems/arguments which incurred with some of my in-laws and 1 or 2 people I knew…Long story but I include it in this comment as a valid point.
People may not be commenting but they sure heck do read your stuff and in my case, that was a BIG problem.
They still don’t like me being so open and sharing, but I just can’t deny who I am, I feel I have to write and be very candid..that’s my style.
I have the Like button switched on (I know some don’t) but I don’t expect everyone to use it, especially if the topic is of no interest.
I use it when I genuinely like a post and sometimes I don’t…and I would expect the same treatment.
I don’t comment on everything (even though I am more than capable)…I comment on what I’m moved to comment on…Guess What?…yep, I expect others to do the same.
In my past, I would go looking for others to ‘network with’…that also got me into a bit of trouble, so I tend not to do that.
I’m more than happy with a friend of a friend passing by the lounge and saying hi or sharing their thoughts.
I try to get round to their spot and offer the same, usually resulting in adding them to my Fellow Bloggers list and take it from there.
I don’t mind if others don’t add me to their Blog Roll (I know some take longer to warm to others) but I do appreciate visiting them and seeing my Blog listed.
OK, I know it’s long response but I can be very intense when I’m stimulated and you sure did stimulate me with this post. 😉
November 11, 2011 at 3:03 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
Wow, I didn’t know you could turn off the modification for trusted peeps. That solves a mystery for me. I must run immediately to change that on mine.
‘Blog Netiquette’ — That is such a cool title! I’m going to have to really use my thinking cap with this crowd.
Your response was in no way too long. I loved it and once again, I’m learning everyday from my blog friends. 🙂
November 11, 2011 at 3:26 pm
Phil's Lounge
Yes honey,
We have a lot to learn from each other.
Look in the Discussion settings section, and tweak the “Before a comment appears” options. 😉
November 11, 2011 at 4:12 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
I’m off to check it out right now. I’m going to have to figure out how to keep up with my responses, but I like the idea of have friends’ comments post even when I’m away.
Thanks, Phil
November 11, 2011 at 4:19 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
So . . . uncheck the “Comment author must have a previously approved comment” box?
Gawd, do I feel like a moron!
Okay, putting the big girl pants on and just doing it.
November 11, 2011 at 4:49 pm
Phil's Lounge
Lol! You’ve got it…as for keeping up with your comments, if you work out an efficient method of doing so please let me know as I sometimes feel guilty about writing, if I haven’t responded to them first.
Enjoy the rest of your afternoon/evening. 🙂
November 11, 2011 at 5:27 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
Oh do I feel that pain. I always feel like I need to approve and respond to my comment, then read the blogs I follow (commenting where appropriate), then check the “Comments I’ve Made” because they don’t show enough and if I can’t check it frequently, I miss the response to my comments. Man, there’s a lot to do. 🙂
Gotta love it!
November 11, 2011 at 3:17 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
I feel a little lame commenting on my own blog, but I just had to share this.
You write a post and you call comment spammers . . . jackasses and ass clowns. What do you get?
“Hello! I greet and wish you a wonderful weekend!
http://assclown.wordpress.com/11/11/10/my-assclown-pictures”
No lie. It was on my Halloween Guestbook page and I changed the WP site name so as not to spread the spammer love or promote said clueless wonder’s blog. Had it been on this post or really been assclown.wordpress.com, I’d have approved it just for the irony. Instead, this blog monkey is going in the trash.
I only have one question . . . Did you even look at my blog, spammeister?
I’m feeling evil . . . I may just go make a comment on his blog with nothing but a link back to this post. *evil grin*
November 11, 2011 at 3:24 pm
Phil's Lounge
Lol! Now why doesn’t that surprise me.
I still had spammers “try it” with me, after my post on them 🙂
November 11, 2011 at 4:10 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
I did go comment, but I was nice. I figure example speaks louder the sarcasm. That’s a big step forward for me.
November 11, 2011 at 4:47 pm
life is a bowl of kibble
I enjoyed reading your post. I am relatively new to wordpress (August). I wish I would have read this earlier but I did have fine examples to follow. Thanks for stopping by my blog today. I am looking forward to your future post.
November 11, 2011 at 5:40 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
From what I saw looking around your blog, you are doing a fine job.
Be seeing you around.
November 11, 2011 at 8:03 pm
mindslam
Very well said & I agree with you 100%. I did a guest post about this for “The Undeveloped Story” (she’s in my blog roll). Would put the link here but I am on my phone & can’t. Great points.
November 11, 2011 at 8:43 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
Come back later and link us up. I’m wondering now if anybody has a good enough handle on all this “Following” stuff to recommend a protocol.
Mea culpa, mea culp. I want so to participate in your prompt this week, but I keep wondering off track. I’m going to give it one more shot after my next post.
Nice seeing ya’.
November 11, 2011 at 9:48 pm
mindslam
This should be the link if you want to check it out. http://thestoryinme.wordpress.com/2011/10/14/your-blog-what-to-do-what-to-do-guest-post-by-jason/
November 11, 2011 at 10:45 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
Thank you kind sir.
November 11, 2011 at 8:05 pm
jennygoth
hi miss d i think blogging should not be taken so seriously some people just love a good argument and they find the internet a good place because you cannot get at them or face them so its an easy target for cowards you will get to know the genuine nice people once you do its great ditch the bitch or dump the grump is my advice when someone naffs you off lol have a great weekend xxjen
November 11, 2011 at 8:45 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
You are a wise and delightful woman, Jen. “Ditch the bitch or dump the grump.” You always do have a marvelous prospective and clever way with words.
Thanks for sharing.
November 11, 2011 at 10:54 pm
beautifulchaos2
Hi Miss D,
Excellent post! I think most anyone who takes the time to reply to comments, and to actually read the posts get what you’re saying. The whole interaction thing with comments is what makes most of us stick around.
Personally I don’t understand why anyone would make rude comments, it’s as simple as “if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all”.
November 11, 2011 at 11:23 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
That is why they are called trolls. I haven’t come across any since I’ve been back, so maybe they have moved on to other platforms.
The community is the most wonderful part of blogging. People like you with your Halloween Event do more for the rest of us than we can ever thank you for.
So is my “following” not working or are you taking a little break? I’m just going to have to drop on by to check.
November 11, 2011 at 11:10 pm
timotheous128
First of all: Hahahaha!!! I never noticed the “Talk to me, Harry Winston” above the comment box. Absolutely brilliant! xD
Second of all: This is a fantastic post! Long? Yes. But brimming with truth. Seriously, I don’t think anyone could have said it better, Miss D, and your colorful language made me snort heartily. ;P
So glad you took the time to run with this idea, and I can’t help but feel a small sense of pride that my comment started this wonderful train of thought.
Keep up the fabulous writing, my friend! You are wonderfully talented. 🙂
November 11, 2011 at 11:39 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
Oh yeah, way too long! I don’t know what happened. I usually struggle with the reverse problem.
Credit where due. It’s all your fault!
PS – Thanks for noticing. Harry was just added today when I was trying to make my blog automatically approved my regular peeps comments. I not think I did it right.
November 11, 2011 at 11:44 pm
timotheous128
Sometimes when we think there’s only a little bit left in the bucket, we find it’s actually quite full! And sometimes it’s nice writing out a nice, long post. It is for me, anyway (and I’m sure it’s the same for you) ;P
Hahaha! I will gladly take the blame for this. xP
Okay, cool! Glad to know I it’s new and that I wasn’t totally oblivious.
And no, I don’t think so either, because it said my comment was pending approval.
November 11, 2011 at 11:59 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
Back to the drawing board!
Later, Friend.
November 11, 2011 at 11:32 pm
Anne Schilde
I tend to shy away from commenting on posts like this one where so much has already been said. I don’t usually have the time to wade through all the comments, and I hate saying something someone else already said. But there is also a Like button that only takes a second to click.
November 11, 2011 at 11:49 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
I know what you mean, but I’ve started just jumping in lately, even on the heavily commented posts when I really like them.
I don’t think any of us have truly figured out the “Like” thing just yet. I do use it a lot, especially when I’m pressed for time. I try to visit at least a few new blogs a week and its really helpful when I’m still getting the lay of the land so to speak. I really prefer to leave comments for my blog friends and new blogs that really, really capture my interest or my heart.
Thanks again, Anne. I’m glad you commented even though there were so many already. Please know you added value!
November 12, 2011 at 12:20 am
Anne Schilde
When WordPress added the notifications feature, it made the Likes a lot more meaningful. Before, only us statistics junkies ever saw them. 🙂
November 12, 2011 at 12:25 am
Miss Demure Restraint
You got that right. Now I have one more little obsession. It is so much easier than having to go look at your posts to see what was “liked” and how often.
😉 Statistic Junkies of the world unite!
November 12, 2011 at 6:44 am
Nigel Windsor
Splendid post, Miss D. Good to have you back after your little hiatus. I agree with everything you said. It’s fun to give comments and receive comments. And it’s always an honour to have you pop up in my comments section 🙂
November 12, 2011 at 7:21 am
Miss Demure Restraint
Oh Nigel, you know you are main news source. Your stories are so much more interesting than the regular feeds. I don’t know where you get your stuff, but I never fails to entertain!
Good to see you or your head anyway.
November 12, 2011 at 11:01 am
Tom (Aquatom1968)
Yes, very good post, Miss D. I try to comment on every post that I read, and if not, I try to press the like button. Sometimes, I do both, but sometimes, I do neither. If I don’t comment or click the like button it has nothing to do with the post (after all the writer has taken the time to write the post), it is usually down to my self imposed time restraints; or I’m rushing through blogs trying to catch up. I know that sounds rude, but it isn’t meant to be.
Your post has alerted me to ‘trolls’, although I can’t say that I have ever met one to date. I’m having a fascinating time travelling through Blogland and reading other people’s thoughts! One thing I’m finding slightly frustrating is the amount of spam comments I’m starting to get. Deleting them takes up so much time! 😉
November 12, 2011 at 1:50 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
Funny you should mention spam. Muah Ha Ha. I’ve been playing with an piece of unusual spam I got . . . yes, I actually look at all my spam. By removing words, I’m attempting to edit it into “beat” poetry. Once I get over the agony of worrying about offending someone, I may get it posted. That or I’ll post it in desparation because I don’t have anything else ready . . . segue to the problem of too little time.
I’m with you . . . I try to comment or like just to let the blogger know someone real was reading their blog. It gets tough if I get behind and I’m pressed for time.
Thanks for spending your time here with me.
November 12, 2011 at 12:26 pm
bronxboy55
I didn’t know you when you left. In fact, I don’t think I was even blogging then. But I’m glad you’re back. I’d like to add you to my blogroll, if that’s all right. (Tell me if it isn’t and I’ll remove it.) I think every blogger should read this post. Twice.
November 12, 2011 at 2:04 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
OMG. Of course, I would love to be on your Blogroll. Thank you.
I love your blog. Your last post was freaking me out . . . in a good way. Your writing is so eloquent and elegant . I swear I connected every step of the way right down to the aunts, uncles and cousins living down the street and around the corner. I can’t wait for your next post.
Do stop in anytime.
November 12, 2011 at 9:17 pm
annmariedwyer
This one is going on my blog roll and I am sending a copy personally to assclownspammer…my very first follower.
I would add only to read (at least some of) the comments. Good stuff gets added to a post in the comments (Androgoth & Phil’s Lounge). And it does not hurt the conversation not to be the 18th person to post a comment about how this or that was misquoted or linked to ACS’s single blog post from 6 years ago.
Keep it up. You are on your way to 1,600 words!
Red
November 12, 2011 at 10:21 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
I love the comments and I too think a lot of good stuff gets added. I believe the comments can be as much or more fun than the post. Especially with this group of crazy, fun bloggers.
Nice seeing you again, Red.
November 13, 2011 at 2:17 am
Elyse
Thanks Bronxboy55 for suggesting I read this piece. And while I have never had difficult comments to parse, I am absolutely ready when it does happen. Thanks for good, common sense advice.
November 13, 2011 at 2:58 am
Miss Demure Restraint
My thanks to him. He is an incredible writer.
My thanks to you for taking the time to both read and comment.
November 13, 2011 at 9:20 am
AriRambles
Wonderful post! I also hope and wish that when someone leaves a comment – it is relevant to the post, rather than a mere – Nice post!
November 13, 2011 at 1:40 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
It is so nice when they did. Isn’t it?
I’m glad you stopped by and left a relevant comment. 🙂
November 14, 2011 at 8:34 am
underwhelmer
Full of insight, as aways Miss D. 🙂
I wish I could take credit for this, but I saw a great way to deal with trolls while I was testing the water in the blog-ocean a few months back. This one blogger took troll comments, lined through them and paraphrased them into something absolutely hilarious. Here’s an example…
“I don’t understand why all of (insert ethnic group A) does this.”
-becomes-
“What I meant to say was, “I’m a huge bigot and the world scares me.”
…simple, effective and brilliant.
November 14, 2011 at 9:33 am
Miss Demure Restraint
I confess. I had a troll comment on my blog some years back. He had been all over the Blogosphere, even defiling some poor bride’s wedding site. Dim-wit troll boy had left the link to his fishing blog on the comments. He also did not have his moderation on. I called a friend, who called a friend, who called a friend . . . you get the picture. All of us blog writers that had been putting up with a rash of troll terrorism at the time. We had a party in his comment box. Troll boy attempted to fight back, but being under attack from a legion of clever writers . . . it was on a par with bringing a pen knife to a uzi fight. He was reduced to attempting to delete the comments as fast as he could, but he was overrun. He’s last words were something like . . . “I’m going to my room now to play my guitar.” I like to believe he never trolled again. I felt bad for him, but only for a moment.
November 14, 2011 at 6:59 pm
Antigone's Clamor
I love your Miss Manners picture!! Do you read her? I get such a kick out of the way she puts things!
Thanks for the insight on blogging. I’m relatively new and still learning the etiquette, so I don’t have any well established pet peeves yet. Technology evolves so much, and it’s hard to keep up!
Also, I have found you to be one of the most polite, well-mannered bloggers out there. You are a great role model!!
November 14, 2011 at 7:51 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
Miss Manners is a classic and I could not resist the picture.
Thank you, but I must admit, I have not always been a stellar member of the blog community, but I do try now . . . very hard. It is nice you notice.
November 15, 2011 at 9:05 am
SanaVd
Okay, this might be the most pathetic comment in the history of… comments but I just have to say this: You’re cool! 😀 And this post was even cooler. (I’m sorry for not being able to come up with something…… cooler but I guess when you’re 19 the only thing you can come up with is “COOL”!) And I agree with Charles. Every blogger should read this.
it’s cool!
November 15, 2011 at 2:49 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
Cool is just fine. I use cool all the time and I don’t have the excuse of being 19! One of my personal favorite cool grips . . . cold beans!
Thank you for the lovely comment.
November 15, 2011 at 3:21 pm
bronxboy55
I thought it was cool, too. I just forgot to say it.
November 17, 2011 at 2:40 am
Julie
Thanks for the tips! This is all new to me so your advice is appreciated!
November 17, 2011 at 5:04 am
Miss Demure Restraint
Thank you Julie. Hey, do you have a blog? You didn’t use your URL or WordPress account, so I can’t link back to you. I only mention it because you are new and might not know about it. If you have a blog, leave me a link and I’ll come see you.
November 17, 2011 at 6:13 pm
Cathy
Totally agree. I myself truly appreciate each comment given to my blog that’s why I try responding to each of them every time. 🙂
November 17, 2011 at 8:18 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
I guess this is my opportunity to put my money where my mouth is. This may take a while.
Thank you, Cathy, for taking the time and energy to not just commenting here but for responding to your commenters as well.
November 17, 2011 at 6:15 pm
Mikalee Byerman
GREAT post — and so “meta,” considering now YOU’RE Freshly Pressed. Too funny!
I consistently used to get one negative comment to each of my posts. Of course, I’m talking about a heated topic (my bat-sh*t crazy divorce and its aftermath), so I expected it. Until I realized — many of them were from the same URL.
So I did some research: As it turns out, the comments were all from the same source: my ex-husband’s new wife. And to add fuel to the irony fire, they were at the time SUING ME to stop my blog.
Ugh.
So I exposed her blog stalking. On my blog. It was fun.
😉
(If you have a spare moment, you can check out the post at http://mikaleebyerman.wordpress.com/2011/03/24/i-spy-with-my-little-eye-a-blog-stalker/. But given the amount of comments you’re sure to get and now must respond to, I won’t hold my breath, k?)
Again, thank you for this great post — so appropriate, so funny, and I can only imagine you’ll have your hands full now responding to everyone!
November 17, 2011 at 9:06 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
Thanks for stopping in and leaving a comment. You’ll see, I left a note on your post. Divorce is a bitch and then those of us that didn’t learn enough the first time, do it again.
November 18, 2011 at 3:50 am
Mikalee Byerman
Haha — so true about divorce! 🙂
Thanks for stopping by … I can only imagine you’re a busy little bee right now, and I’m honored you spent some time on my site!
November 18, 2011 at 9:03 am
Miss Demure Restraint
No honor, I’m happy I found your blog. I just hope my sleep deprived brain remembers all the great places I’m visiting.
Drop in when things quiet down. I’d love to have you in my blog community as well my becoming part of yours.
November 17, 2011 at 6:21 pm
Paprika Furstenburg
Congraulations on being Freshly Pressed! Thanks for the lesson on blog etiquette. I wish I had seen this when I started blogging a few months ago.
November 17, 2011 at 9:13 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
It took me four years and every mistake in the book to figure it out. Now would someone please tell me what the proper ettiquette is for “following.”
I really enjoyed your post last week on the “sent from” phenomena.
Thanks for stopping in.
November 19, 2011 at 5:23 pm
Paprika Furstenburg
Thanks so much for the compliment. Looking forward to reading more of your blog 😉
November 19, 2011 at 6:00 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
No, really thank you. I so much appreciate all the bloggers that visited.
November 17, 2011 at 6:25 pm
Rayme Wells @ A Clean Surface
I agree about the comment moderation. A blogger friend of mine got into an ugly online skirmish after making a small critique on a stranger’s blog. She retaliated vigorously both on her blog and his. He realized that the post in question was a “rant” and that she did not welcome the kind of comment he made. It is unfortunate that she chose to accept his comment in the first place. Simply deleting it could have prevented the entire problem.
November 17, 2011 at 9:25 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
The delete button is our friend. Personally, I keep them unapproved just as a little reminder that I don’t have to approve everything.
Thanks for your contributions and that is a wonderful thanksgiving poem you have on your blog.
November 17, 2011 at 6:27 pm
BeautyRush.co
Simple yet useful.
November 17, 2011 at 9:32 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
I’m glad you found it so. I hope it gets a lot more people commenting and replying all over the bloggy universe.
Thanks for the comment.
November 18, 2011 at 7:46 am
BeautyRush.co
🙂
November 17, 2011 at 6:37 pm
PCC Advantage
Ooh…excellent post! These tips are fantastic!
I agree that it’s very important that bloggers take responsibility for what happens on their blogs, including comments from others. I applaud you for standing up strong and deleting all offensive comments and trying to keep your blog a “cat-fight-free” zone. 😉
SO glad this post was Freshly Pressed today!! 😀 Great job!
November 17, 2011 at 9:36 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
Thank you so much for both the comment and a great laugh today. I didn’t know whether to laugh or hide reading your techno post. And what was that with robogirl’s forehead? Really good stuff.
November 18, 2011 at 3:34 am
PCC Advantage
I know!! Isn’t she the creepiest thing you’ve ever seen in your life?! Creepy eyes all shifty and whatnot…I don’t trust those androids. 😉
Thank YOU for your excellent post today and for your very kind words! 🙂
November 18, 2011 at 4:40 am
Miss Demure Restraint
Seriously, I enjoyed your post so much I’m going to have to go back a scare the bejeezus out of myself again! Just don’t quite when I’ll have a minute. I’ll definitely be sharing it too.
Thanks for stopping back by.
November 17, 2011 at 6:39 pm
vandysnape
The first point is especially hilarious.. I totally laughed out loud on the sentence “There are trolls out there people!” ..The funny thing about “cat fights” in blogs is that even people who want post nice comments back out because they don’t want to get caught in the middle of it 🙂 Awesome post ,btw 🙂 🙂
November 17, 2011 at 9:43 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
The cat fight was horrible and I felt terrible for the longest time after that. It was a lesson hard learned, but as with all experiences, I’m glad I had it.
Thanks for coming by, Vandy.
November 17, 2011 at 6:41 pm
Doug
I definitely appreciate the tips. However, my favorite part of this post has got to be:
“Yeah, I’m a little on the crazy side, but then what sane person gets on the internet and blindly writes to an audience that may or may not be there? ”
It’s nice to have company. 🙂
November 17, 2011 at 10:05 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
Always nice to meet a fellow lunatic. Doug, tell me that you haven’t left me already. WP is saying your blog has been deleted and you haven’t got a blog on your Gravatar profile. Is there somewhere you can be found? Come by and leave a link so I can visit.
Thanks for visiting.
November 17, 2011 at 6:41 pm
sarahpalma
I had the exact same experience you did with a post recently. I put something out there that to me was benign, but it caused a total raucous, and I even got one hate mail! I couldn’t believe it, but now my comment moderator is on, I’ll tell ya that much!
November 17, 2011 at 10:00 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
I’m endlessly surprised by the things that happen in Blogland. I’ve been doing it four years and still I’m amazed. Why put that kind of negative energy into the universe? Hate mail you say? Well, at least the people in my comments were fighting with each other. I was just the shellshocked dummy caught in the crossfire.
Thank you for sharing your experience. Maybe people will learn through our sharing.
November 17, 2011 at 10:06 pm
sarahpalma
Hopefully!!
November 17, 2011 at 6:47 pm
Lu
Well said, every word of it! I like to think that I get around to responding to all (well, at my very worst – 99.9% of ’em) of the comments that fellow bloggers have been so kind as to leave with me – it’s courteous if nothing else, and I’m starting to realise, as I write this, that I am thoroughly old school after all!
I hope your ugly troll stays far away. I don’t believe there is a true place for them in WordPress (nor any other platforms, for that matter)
Enjoy the crazy that will be for the following hours, days & weeks that is the way of the Freshly-Pressed-bunch. 🙂
November 17, 2011 at 10:18 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
Sometimes there is nothing like it . . . old school courtesy. Shamefully, I was not always so diligent, but I’m trying very hard to adhere to my own advise. I must say I want to jump ahead and read all of the comments. It’s really is exciting. I’m forcing myself to take them one at a time. I’m going to be up all night!
Thanks for stopping in and the little moment of solitude your photos brought me.
November 17, 2011 at 6:49 pm
Peter Parkorr
Personally, i hate any blog about blogging… Aah, only joking! A nice post written well that I wholly agree with. If only heads of state, presidents, kings, and other assorted power-mongers would play the game too. 😛
November 17, 2011 at 10:24 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
I hate blogs about blogging too. Still I write them. What’s with that?
I must say I agree with you on the conduct of the powerful. They should know better and be held to a higher standard.
Thanks for the trip to the fair and dropping by MDR. I do appreciate it.
November 17, 2011 at 6:54 pm
Evelyn Smith
Hi. I have been the moderator of our church blog and your comments were very helpful. Hopefully it will help me have some more traffic 🙂
Evelyn
cofchristelcajon.wordpress.com
November 17, 2011 at 10:38 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
Evelyn, all I can tell you is what I have learned. Find like-minded bloggers and they will welcome you into their community with open arms. Get out and visit their blogs. Comment on their posts. Get involved. Before this Freshly Pressed event, I had been blessed with an amazing group of people that I “follow” and who “follow” me. We all comment on each others blogs and I have even come to consider many of them friends.
Good luck and thank you for reading and making a comment.
November 17, 2011 at 6:57 pm
bradwynalek
As a relatively new blogger I was not aware of the etiquette concerning commenting, replying, etc. I am really glad that you straightened things out for me. Plus your writing style is very witty and entertaining. Thanks for the enlightenment! Cheers
November 17, 2011 at 10:43 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
There really aren’t any set rules, but just like in real life, there is a need to have respect and consideration for those around us.
Of course, lovely comment like your’s are always welcome and thanks.
November 17, 2011 at 7:06 pm
theoriginalcake
It took a while for the replying-to-comments-is-basic-manners fact to dawn on me. I still feel very bad about it!
Gwen
November 17, 2011 at 10:51 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
Gwen, don’t feel bad. They don’t give us any rules or even suggestions when we start a blog. If you look back through my blog, I did the same thing and I did it for a long time. It wasn’t out of malice. I just thought it was pretentious to comment on my own blog. I finally decided it was more important to say thanks than worry about what a casual onlooker thought. Personally, I’m still trying to work out the “follow” and “like” protocols.
Thank you. Its good to let others know we have all fumbled around before we got our footing.
November 17, 2011 at 7:07 pm
lukewater
Wow, I suddenly realize what a strange community bloggers are….one that I am a part of. I’ve been blogging for a couple of years, but until now, I didn’t really notice how…I suppose similar we all are.
Anyways, congrats on being freshly pressed. Nice post, very funny 🙂
I will definitely read some of your other posts (eventually)
and sorry for contributing to the ‘pressed to death’ massive amount of comments you have received xD
lukewater
November 17, 2011 at 11:00 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
Oh no! There is never such a thing as too many comments. Its just taking me a while to get through them because I’m visiting each commenter’s blog as I go so as not to get lost. You know you get “pressed” with a post like this and you better be ready to walk the walk.
I’d be happy to have you visit anytime and thanks for the compliment.
November 17, 2011 at 7:10 pm
Brenda K
Hey there Ms. D.,
Thanks for sharing a highly relevant and heartfelt post. In fact, I want to plagiarize it extensively since you have artfully put into words so much of my own sentiment about blogging, which I just started about a year ago. Is it still plagiarizing if I just lift and recycle a quote attributed to someone else? (I’m referring to the Anais Nin quote in your “about me” section because it so perfectly expresses what my blog is to me also.) I have always enjoyed writing, but the techno and social media aspects of doing it online still throw me for a loop. In fact, I wonder how many people I have stunk out with the acrid smell of my own burning brain cells for much of last year as I was struggling through the hi-tech learning curve with all this!
Congrats on being freshly pressed, and happy birthday to MDR!
Very best wishes,
Brenda K
P.S. Thanks also for making me smile and giving me a “get back with it” boost during a week when I am feeling especially burned out and uninspired!
November 17, 2011 at 11:28 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
Brenda, I’m sure Anais would be happy we both appreciate her writing enough to have it in our blogs. I use it for just the reason you like it. “I record here the hysteria life causes in me.” Please use it.
I’m happy to offer a boost anytime and glad you dropped by with your comment. I also expect to be invited over for banana flower cuisine next time I’m in L.A. I know just the place on Hollywood Boulevard you were talking about.
November 18, 2011 at 7:25 am
Brenda K
Done deal – we’re on! My banana trees are reproducing like rabbits, so whenever you’re in town, there should be something or other in bloom and ready to eat 😉 If you’re a culinary experimentalist, we can even invent our very own brand-new banana flower recipe.
Silom Market is great, isn’t it?
Cheers!
November 18, 2011 at 9:18 am
Miss Demure Restraint
I miss L.A. I said that didn’t I, but I do. I’ve been in Seattle for over a decade, but I still consider L.A. home. Nice to run into a homey.
November 17, 2011 at 7:13 pm
Gwen and Elinor
Sorry, I posted a comment under the name ‘theoriginalcake’ by mistake, that’s a friends thing and i inadvertently had an identity crisis!
But yes, it took a while for the replying-to-comments-is-basic-manners fact to dawn on ME. And I still feel very bad about it!
Gwen
November 17, 2011 at 11:42 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
Same advise applies, only not you have made me hungry and feel guilty for starting off the season being a “party pooping fat head.” As I said, I will try to correct that.
Thanks for coming back with your blog info.
November 17, 2011 at 7:19 pm
Brett Myers
Congrats on being FP’ed! 🙂
My pet peeve is also self promoting spammers. And they don’t really have to comment. It is a bit of a give away when you get a random like on a post, and when you go to their blog to check them out there are dozens of “Thanks for liking my post” comments from new bloggers who haven’t seen the pattern yet. That, and commenting with a question that you don’t bother to ever come back to for the answer. Bit of a give away that you are probably just making the comment rounds purely for sake of attention.
This is a well written, relevant piece. I’ll be back for more… 🙂
November 18, 2011 at 12:20 am
Miss Demure Restraint
So, I made sure not to leave a comment question on your blog. Usually, I’m all over it when I leave a comment waiting for a reply, but I’m not sure when I’m going to get back out to all these blogs I’m leaving comments on today.
I know what you mean about the “like.” I’m still struggling with just how to use it. I hope I it doesn’t take me four years to figure it out.
Thank you for contributing to this post with your comment. I do appreciate it.
November 17, 2011 at 7:22 pm
nessafrance
Good post and sensible advice. The majority of people out there are reasonable, sane individuals. Just occasionally, though, you get one who hides behind the anonymity of the Internet to pour out their vitriol about life in general on you because you happened to say something fairly innocuous that they didn’t agree with. I have some great ‘conversations’ with people who visit my blog. For me that makes up for the tiny minority who have no manners.
I haven’t set the moderate all comments facility since I don’t want to make it appear that I am in censorship mode. But you can moderate comments from certain email addresses if you want to – if someone is getting really offensive.
November 18, 2011 at 1:50 am
Miss Demure Restraint
I also understand that you can clear prior commenters, but I just can’t seem to make it work. After my little incident, I figure better safe than sorry.
Thanks for visiting and leaving a comment. I found your post on drivers licenses and road rules in France, very interesting and mean that in a good way.
November 18, 2011 at 4:16 pm
nessafrance
Thanks for your return visit and comment and for your kind words about that post. I should have said first time round congratulations on getting into Freshly Pressed – what most of us can only dream about. But your post was spot-on topical and has obviously struck a chord, judging by the number of comments you’ve received. Blog on, MIss D!
November 18, 2011 at 4:27 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
You never know. Just keep blogging and one day . . . 🙂
November 17, 2011 at 7:25 pm
johnhauge
common sense and common courtesy stuff. sadly most bloggers can’t be bothered. or very very rarely.
November 18, 2011 at 2:01 am
Miss Demure Restraint
I’ve been blessed with a community of writers, bloggers and artists that visit me regularly and have made my blogging experience wonderful this time around.
Sorry, I’m afraid my comment on your blog is not the greatest. I do recognize you have an amazing knowledge of college football that is obvious even with my limited acumen.
November 18, 2011 at 4:42 am
johnhauge
thanks. you flatter me. i do appreciate your comment. my blog is filled with other stuff as well. random weirdness along with some creative fiction pounded out when college football is in hiatus. the whole experience sorta keeps me sane.
November 18, 2011 at 9:07 am
Miss Demure Restraint
I’m sorry I didn’t have more time to go exploring. I do plan to re-visit a lot of the blogs I’m popping in and out of. I can’t wait to see some of the non-football stuff.
November 17, 2011 at 7:32 pm
valentinedee
I read a blog, comment if I have something to add, and leave my name and link; which is at another blogging site. Not that I don’t like WordPress. I blog here too. I just move around alot.
BUT, reciprocity is a nice thing, and I’ve found that most of the time when I comment on a blog, I do not receive the same. That said, I still blog, and I still comment and I do it to support the blogger. If I get a read out of it, great. If not, it’s all good.
Val
http://valentinedefrancis.blogspot.com
November 18, 2011 at 2:17 am
Miss Demure Restraint
It is commendable that you continue to comment. I have a lot of trouble commenting on Blogspot. I don’t know why but at times I just can’t get the comment to post. I know its not an excuse, so I usually send an e-mail.
Thank you for sharing.
November 18, 2011 at 11:23 am
valentinedee
I am very thankful that you just said that. I’ve been wondering why I’ve been getting quite a lot of views and no comments. Geesh. Maybe that’s why no one is leaving a comment.
November 19, 2011 at 4:22 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
Its the reason I frequently don’t. There are a lot great blogs over there and its frustrating as all get out.
Later.
November 17, 2011 at 7:33 pm
Mike Lambert
I accept no comments unless they are accompanied by a legitimate name and email.
November 18, 2011 at 2:21 am
Miss Demure Restraint
Wow, I didn’t know you could comment without a name and e-mail, but then I always use my WP account to comment.
Thanks for the info and stopping by. If you have a blog, please come back and leave a link and I will visit.
November 17, 2011 at 7:35 pm
Rae
I have comment moderation on for first time commenters (mainly so I can see who they are and what they’re about). Even when I’ve gotten critical comments though, I always approve them, which I think is important. I think the best thing about having a blog is interacting with your audience and forming a relationship with the blogs you love.
November 18, 2011 at 2:27 am
Miss Demure Restraint
I tried that but failed to master the process. I have a blog friend that is going to help me with it, though. You are so right about interacting with visitors and those blogs you follow. I’m lucky and have an outstanding crew here.
Thank you for the insight and coming over the MDR.
November 17, 2011 at 7:38 pm
patricemj
Congrats on FP…I can say, I read on your blog not too long ago you did not see this one coming. Surprise! Did you change your religion? Or get? :).
November 18, 2011 at 1:38 am
Miss Demure Restraint
You are right about that . . . never even considered it a possibility.
Thanks for reading before the big event and sure appreciate your comments.
November 17, 2011 at 7:39 pm
stewartry
Great post. “Don’t just show up and say, “You should see my blog . . . assclownspammer.com.” *applause* I always think it’s just sad to see those posts. Congratulations on being Freshly Pressed!
(I’m unproportionately diverted right now by “Talk to me, Harry Winston” … )
November 18, 2011 at 2:51 am
Miss Demure Restraint
Thank you and only one other person has every commented on the “Harry Winston” thing. LOL. I thought maybe nobody “got” it.
Like your book reviews. I’ll have to try to get over for more soon.
November 17, 2011 at 7:44 pm
k8edid
I love your post – congrats on being Freshly Pressed. I did experience one commenter who set me off – with some comments that were, in my opinion, inappropriate given the nature of my post. I responded in a hormone-challenged manner (my post was a slightly tongue in cheek diatribe about menopause – his comments had to do with HIS sexual thoughts and beliefs.) I had a great many other commenters who supported my semi-rant response.
With that one exceptio, I have enjoyed tremendously the commentors, and in addition to the blogs I follow, I try to read the comments for each as well. The posts give insight into the minds of the author – the comments provide a platform for discussion.
Your advice is great –
November 18, 2011 at 4:03 am
Miss Demure Restraint
If I had your buttons I’d use the Spot On. I’m glad your commenters supported you and hope the inappropriate, and ill-mannered visitor left with a little more respect. You don’t mess with a menopausal woman. Duh!
Obviously, I enjoyed your post and thank you for taking the time to add your story to my post. Awesome.
November 17, 2011 at 7:46 pm
MJ, Nonstepmom
I’ve been fortunate so far, the comments I’ve had have been witty, funny, helpful. Maybe WordPress can post this somewhere in the “getting started” area for new bloggers!
November 18, 2011 at 4:14 am
Miss Demure Restraint
I’m flattered you even suggest such a thing. Thank you, that is so kind.
I have to say, you don’t sound at all evil to me. Your blog name gave my a good laugh.
November 17, 2011 at 7:51 pm
JT
Well said MDR, I have to admit I don’t have my comment moderation on but after reading this. and nearly going off the comment cliff, have determined I probably should. BTW congratulations on being “Freshly Pressed”
November 18, 2011 at 4:27 am
Miss Demure Restraint
Thank you JT. I’m glad you came a callin’. I was also glad to see my comment go to moderation at your site. *grin*
November 18, 2011 at 11:30 am
JT
Of Course:-) I figured I would get over to my site eventually, but then thought better of it and decided to run home and do it right away on the off chance you went there to check up on me! 😀
November 18, 2011 at 4:06 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
That’s right the blog police are one the case. LOL. Can you feel the creepy Miss Manners eyeball staring at you. 🙂
November 17, 2011 at 7:51 pm
Dounia
Great observations and tips – I really appreciate a post like this since I’ve only been blogging a few months! Thanks for sharing your words of wisdom, and congratulations on being freshly pressed!
November 18, 2011 at 4:32 am
Miss Demure Restraint
I do hope it helps in some small way. You should have plenty of opportunity to use it as more and more people find your beautiful blog.
Thank you very much for the words of encouragement.
November 17, 2011 at 7:55 pm
Doc
Freshly Pressed? Hey, let me be the first to offer congratulations . Or condolences. You should now be inundated with new followers. Just don’t forget us little people who were with you when you were…, well…, little.
November 18, 2011 at 1:36 am
Miss Demure Restraint
I will never forget my peeps, Doc. I’m running through the queue replying to ya’ll right now. I wouldn’t want you to wait. I am a little overwhelmed at the moment, but I’ll get my head wrapped around it. Be over to visit as soon as I see a light (that’s not a train) at the end of the tunnel.
November 17, 2011 at 7:58 pm
Toby
Congratulations on being Freshly Pressed. You will probably be overwhelmed with comments now. For somebody very new to blogging it is very useful to have all this advice in one place. I know what a great warm feeling I had when I got my first comment.
November 18, 2011 at 4:55 am
Miss Demure Restraint
I will never forget my first comment. I never expected it and I must have read it a dozen times. I don’t think I replied (inexperience) and would have probably gotten more but for that error. I remember exactly which post it was on. Good times. I still get a “charge” when I see there is a comment waiting for moderation.
And yes, I’m a bit overwhelmed and hope everyone will be patient as I am visiting the blogs of all the commenters as I reply.
Thanks for coming by and leaving your comment.
November 18, 2011 at 7:21 am
Toby
And thank you for taking the the time to visit my blog in what must have been a manic 12 hours. I think authenticity is a very compelling characteristic, and there is no doubt that you have practised what you preached.
November 18, 2011 at 9:15 am
Miss Demure Restraint
Thank you, Toby. I appreciate it. I’m still making my way through the mass of comments and have been tempted to just get them approved, but you have confirmed my feeling that is better to take the time it takes to do it right. I’m hoping the people that are waiting in moderation will understand I’m typing and reading as fast as I can. I will get to everybody, but it will be some time tomorrow. Thanks again.
November 17, 2011 at 7:59 pm
afrankangle
First timer here … (congrats on Fresh Pressed) … and right on regarding comments! Useful post!
November 18, 2011 at 5:03 am
Miss Demure Restraint
Thank you for commenting and affirmation.
November 17, 2011 at 8:01 pm
Tisha Clinkenbeard
I am a newbie blogger and found your points to be very good guidance. I still have that feeling of talking to space but my inner self tells me that it is ok. Maybe someone is made happier that day or finds some inspiration in it that I never know about! 🙂
November 18, 2011 at 5:13 am
Miss Demure Restraint
Trisha, I noticed on my visit to your blog that you are re-starting your blog effort. I think you can provide a needed voice in the healthcare community and hope you are very successful in your efforts.
Thank you for stopping by my little piece of Bloggyland and leaving a comment.
November 22, 2011 at 2:28 am
Tisha Clinkenbeard
I’m (trying) to restart my healthcare IT blog. I’ve kept busy with my Found Round & About photo blog and feel like I’m making some progress in sharing to a wider audience.
Some weeks time slips away before I know it!
I’m looking forward to more blogs from you!
November 22, 2011 at 2:39 am
Miss Demure Restraint
You are one busy lady. Again, good luck and hope to be seeing you around.
November 17, 2011 at 8:05 pm
Teeza
Great advice. I just started blogging as of yesterday and I can barely navigate this old thing (or maybe I’m the old one) but I still refuse to comment on posts I really have no clue about…its is a lame form of promot
ing. Especially when all the blogs that keep popping up for me to read aren’t in English-dead give away hehe
I will def take note
November 18, 2011 at 5:18 am
Miss Demure Restraint
I couldn’t get to your blog when I tried. If you are looking for interesting places to visit, please check out my Blogroll. Its not 100% current, but there are some amazing and fun blogs there. I hope you have as exciting a blog experience as I have had.
Thank you for visiting and feel free to drop in anytime.
November 17, 2011 at 8:06 pm
Eileen黃愛玲
Thank you for this. I used to be on blogger but now I am on wonderful wordpress. 🙂 Yay. I do try my best to tell the people on my blogroll that I AM paying attention and they’re not just a number. If I am busy, at least click “like.” 🙂
November 18, 2011 at 5:26 am
Miss Demure Restraint
It can be hard keeping up, but even a “like” on a discouraging day goes a very long way.
Thanks for your comment, Eileen. I couldn’t figure out how to leave you a comment on your blog, so I had to settle for a “like.”
November 17, 2011 at 8:07 pm
amira
good point. it sure is nice to see a comment. what is nicer really is to know that someone has taken the time to read your rants. and ofcourse we rant because we have something to say and it is always good when there is someone to hear what we say… anyway my four years blogging has shown me that some stuff that we write are too personal – so i have made quite a lot of them private. and in between i was forced to rebrand myself — made some fatal online mistakes … (which i might elaborate on later)
but i am glad i rebounded and am back in the blogosphere…
keep blogging….
November 18, 2011 at 5:35 am
Miss Demure Restraint
I’m glad you have rebounded also. Your mistakes are in the past. It looks like you are moving forward and that’s what counts.
Thank you for adding your thoughts to those others here.
November 17, 2011 at 8:15 pm
actionfiguretrish
thanks. i came to freshly pressed today precisely to do the things you mention, and this was the first one i read. i’ve gotten used to writing…talking to that ghost-audience like you are…now it’s time to cruise WP a little harder. i read a lot of me in your post. so naturally i enjoyed it 😉
November 18, 2011 at 6:05 am
Miss Demure Restraint
I’m glad you enjoyed it. Ditto for what I found on your site.
I thank you for your comment and hope to see you around.
November 17, 2011 at 8:19 pm
Anitha
very interesting and honest post.
November 18, 2011 at 6:06 am
Miss Demure Restraint
Thanks for the compliment and comment.
November 17, 2011 at 8:23 pm
susielindau
I am impressed! You are keeping up!!
Congrats on being Freshly Pressed!
I agree with your “commentary.” I do have a problem with “blog-jacking” too. I never have the guts to delete the comment. I do have my spam controls set so I don’t have to preview all of them, that would drive me nuts!! Luckily here on WordPress I haven’t seen the flame wars that blow up frequently on other sites.
Great post.
November 18, 2011 at 6:35 am
Miss Demure Restraint
I don’t know how well I’m keeping up, but I’m giving it one hell of a try. Really, the people here at WordPress are a great bunch.
Thank you for your compliment and taking the time to stop and read.
November 17, 2011 at 8:26 pm
Skatha
I resemble… I mean I resent… RESENT being called insane because I write for an audience that may or may not exist. 😛 😛 😛
November 18, 2011 at 7:19 am
Miss Demure Restraint
All I can say is “if the shoe fits?” 🙂 We bloggers are a breed unto ourselves.
Thanks for leaving me a link to your blog with your comment. It was fun to re-visit your school days with you.
November 17, 2011 at 8:27 pm
Oh God, My Wife Is German
🙂 Great post!
Thank you for sharing!
I will subscribe to your blog.
November 18, 2011 at 7:20 am
Miss Demure Restraint
I’m glad to see you again and happy to have you following. As you know, I really like your blog too.
Thanks.
November 17, 2011 at 8:36 pm
Lucybird
I find trolls funny personally, I usually approve them (actually I automatically approve anything without a link). I think I may have been going over the top to approve the same comment twice on the same post though…
November 18, 2011 at 7:22 am
Miss Demure Restraint
Really, the same comment twice? I guess they really wanted you to see their comment.
Thank you for your comment and I’d love to visit you too, but you didn’t leave a link. If you can, come back with it and I’ll come check out your blog.
November 21, 2011 at 4:09 pm
Lucybird
Yes, all about how rubbish Harry Potter was. Only one was marked as spam, probably because of their very obviously fake e-mail address. It is strange that I only ever get trolls on my Harry Potter posts, I don’t even usually get them on my negative reviews (although I did get an e-mail from an author about one).
I was sure I had linked my blog on gravater but apparently not, my url is http:/lucybirdbooks.wordpress.com
Thanks for replying, must be hard work with all these comments!
November 21, 2011 at 6:09 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
I got over to your blog via your Gravatar. I don’t know how I missed it the first time. I choose the book review as I’m not a big app user. Excellent reviews. I only commented on one, but read several. I love that you do contests too. Contests, prompts and awards are all great ways to promote a sense of community in Bloggyland.
Authors are notoriously thin-skinned. Getting through all the comments has been a challenge, but I have now read more blogs than I ever imagined I would. LOL.
Thanks for coming back by. I’m glad you did so I could visit your wonderful blog.
November 21, 2011 at 7:11 pm
Lucybird
Oh I updated when I realised…so before re-commenting here 🙂 The book blog is my main one anyway, I think I only have about 3 posts on the other one, I should really try and update it soon.
November 22, 2011 at 12:08 am
Miss Demure Restraint
I would think reviews of apps would be a fertile field to sow. Good luck.
November 22, 2011 at 10:24 pm
Lucybird
Thanks. Apparently saying I had few troll comments was a bad idea. I got a lovely one today from someone who apparently thinks my blog is awful. I must have jinked it
November 22, 2011 at 11:35 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
I’m sorry that happened. Another blog I read was asking her readers what she should do about e-mails she was receiving from people that didn’t “like” her blog. It’s the price we pay for sticking our necks out. There’s always going to be someone with an ax. All we can really do is hit the delete key and move on.
I think your blog is great, so obviously that commenter is some kind of defective! 🙂
November 23, 2011 at 9:27 pm
Lucybird
Thanks. I suppose I should be a bit more active with my delete key, I tend to only delete spammers and not trolls.
November 24, 2011 at 12:10 am
Miss Demure Restraint
I’ve only had the one troll (if you don’t count ex’s) and the obscenity alone would that got him the “delete” key.
Thanks for visiting. Hope to see you again.
November 17, 2011 at 8:43 pm
wendy
Hi MDR. I almost never check the WordPress homepage when logging out, but this post caught my eye. Thanks for writing it, it was a good reminder.
I’m an opinionated American female Christian living in the Middle East, so I am regularly offending someone whether I intend to or not. It’s a fine line to draw, as we don’t really have freedom of speech either. Handling conflict then takes on new significance.
Have a great Thursday!
November 18, 2011 at 7:36 am
Miss Demure Restraint
I bet its tough. I can only imagine. I really liked your “Jerk” post.
You have a good day also and thank you for stopping and commenting.
November 17, 2011 at 8:47 pm
Feit Can Write
So what you’re saying is a comment here will get me a cheap hit on my incredibly awesome (and somewhat random) blog, as well as a personal response?
Heck ya, I’m in.
November 18, 2011 at 7:43 am
Miss Demure Restraint
So now that the cheap hit part is done, this is your personal response.
I’m glad you were “in.”
November 17, 2011 at 8:47 pm
NoJobJulie
MDR, I have no idea how to set it up so that I have a link back to my blog. I’ve been poking around trying to figure it out, and advice is welcome. You’ve already hit me up, and thank you for that; Tales From The Unemployment Line.
November 18, 2011 at 7:46 am
Miss Demure Restraint
I noticed you had overcome the problem, so I’m going to respond under that comment. K?
November 17, 2011 at 8:48 pm
Coraline
Hi there, I really liked your post and I agree with you! Thanks for sharing =)
November 18, 2011 at 8:06 am
Miss Demure Restraint
Thank you for commenting. I’m sorry I can’t read your blog. I’m limited in my language skills and am still having trouble with English.
November 17, 2011 at 8:50 pm
Hillary Manaster
I’m glad I came across your post today. I’m on a mission as of late to clean-up the mess I feel like I’ve created jumping into blogging (and twitter) without really “getting it.” Thanks for the tips!
November 18, 2011 at 8:24 am
Miss Demure Restraint
I thought your blog was great. I didn’t spend as much time as I would have liked to, but I’m a little underwater getting to all these comments and still handling them in the manner I believe is appropriate. Just cause you get “Pressed” doesn’t mean any of the things I said in the post are any less important.
Thank for visiting and taking the time to comment.
November 17, 2011 at 8:56 pm
nadbugs
Congratulations on the pressed-ness. I appreciate the heart, the passionate plea for consideration I hear in this post. I have yet to have the ugly experiences you describe, thankfully — and I have a little circle of readers | writers whom I do believe I actually love! — but I also do know that this blog business can be a narcissistic kind of narcoleptic enterprise & I got enough trouble staying awake. So I’m very glad to see you got tons of readers. Merit rules! and gets you the recognition I like to see. Very satisfying.
November 18, 2011 at 8:38 am
Miss Demure Restraint
Thank you so much for the comment adn compliment. It is gratifying to have another find merit in your words. I really appreciate it.
November 17, 2011 at 8:57 pm
NoJobJulie
Ok, I think I figured it out? Thanks again!
November 18, 2011 at 7:53 am
Miss Demure Restraint
Glad you got that fixed. Yes, I like your blog . . . NoJobDee relates on a very personal basis. I think I followed a link from your blog to some employment “expert.” Sadly, the canned response was a disappointment, but your blog has been very entertaining.
Thanks for dropping in and commenting.
November 17, 2011 at 9:00 pm
King Contrary Man
What a great friggin post to read early in my blogging life! It makes so much sense – cut the crap, stop fights, reward the followers, follow the rewarders, don’t just go onto every single Freshly Pressed blog post every single day and make a token comment and/or like button press, because there’s no effing way one person could seriously like everything, and don’t use a lot of profanity on a photography post or a post about someone’s kids – common sense stuff like that.
November 18, 2011 at 8:04 am
Miss Demure Restraint
Happy to be of service. Now see, I could have said all I did and more in less than 100 hundred words. Silly me!
Thank you for summing it up for everyone.
November 18, 2011 at 12:11 pm
King Contrary Man
I’m sure your way was better, since you got the FP nod.
November 19, 2011 at 5:01 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
No, I don’t think so. I’ve thought about it a lot the passed two days. I’ve decided they did it to get back at me for poking fun at them all the time.
Thanks for the comment and waiting so long for a reply.
November 17, 2011 at 9:07 pm
promenadeplantings
interesting post, and as a relative newcome to blogging I’ve been learning the hard(er)way. One question comes to mind – Does it depend on your subject or topic whether you get trolls? Cos for me the majority of commentators are ultra positive, encouraging and inquisitive.
Ultimately I think back to what my mum used to say to me, if it’s not constructive don’t say or write it.
Happy blogging 🙂
November 18, 2011 at 9:36 am
Miss Demure Restraint
Trolls have no boundries. Their goal is to shock and disrupt. My troll had posted horrible comments on a bride’s wedding blog along with many other innocent bloggers’ sites. It was an ugly and mean-spirited thing to do.
Thanks for posing the question.
November 17, 2011 at 9:11 pm
twistnpout
Hi there. i am new to all this blogging – been wanting to give it a try for a long time, so thought I would jump in. It is a lot harder than it seems – just taking the time to write an entertaining, informative or interesting post is hard enough ( the rants in my head sound great to me and make perfect sense, but just dumping those thoughts out leads to a pile of incoherent jibberish no one would understand)
Taking the time to acknowledge others in a meaningful way can be a challenge at times. Yet, I believe it is very important for us to all be respectful (and yes, cautious) and show some kind of support for each other and sometimes that means just taking the time to give someone a little bit of recognition. We should all admit it – as you have- we like that recognition DAMN IT and we get what we give.
I have only been at this for a week, but so far I am very impressed with those who find it very important to maintain some form of social etiquette here. Who knows what connections can be made. And there are some VERY talented people here.
So this turned into a very long comment – I deleted a big chunk of it – then I realized I think I have an idea for my next blog….
Thanks!
November 18, 2011 at 9:46 am
Miss Demure Restraint
I have always welcomed all comments, long or short. If you look around, some of my favorite blog friends make long comments and I always love it.
Welcome to the Blogosphere and the great state of Washington. Thank you for visiting me and leaving this comment. I’d say you are off to a great start.
November 17, 2011 at 9:18 pm
Posky
I was toying with the idea of turning off my comment moderation so anyone that wanted could post but you’ve convinced me to leave it on. I’ll still let people say whatever they want- we all should express our opinions- but I don’t want someone posting something just to stir the pot. I also notice that I read every single comment when I have to moderate them myself.
November 18, 2011 at 10:05 am
Miss Demure Restraint
I do agree it does prompt me to pay the appropriate attention to each and every comment when I have to moderate them. My life can get a bit out of hand at times and I could easily put off my replies if they were automatically posting.
Thanks for your input and taking the time to read the post.
November 17, 2011 at 9:18 pm
Leva 6face
nice points on the precious time a blogger spends commenting on others. it is sad that some don’t appreciate it.
November 18, 2011 at 10:15 am
Miss Demure Restraint
Yes, but I think that the ones that do make up for the ones that don’t.
Thank you for your precious time.
November 17, 2011 at 9:27 pm
I Made You A Mixtape
Good rules- for all of us bloggers. I alwas, always go and visit the blogs of the people who comment mine- (and leave comments) as well as people who subscribe to my blog. Only good manners. And even if I don’t agree- I always leave postive feedback. Someone has taken the time to create a blog, update it etc. So whatever they blog about- they are passionate about, even if I don’t connect with it….
November 18, 2011 at 10:36 am
Miss Demure Restraint
You didn’t need my post, you are doing all the right things. Still, I’m glad you stopped to ready my post and comment.
November 17, 2011 at 9:28 pm
kitkatlikereflexes
Very well written, and I couldn’t agree more! Haha, how appropriate to have this post Freshly Pressed!
No pressure for response and checking out my blog, though I’d really love it! Congrats! 🙂
November 18, 2011 at 10:58 am
Miss Demure Restraint
I plan to respond to every comment and check out everyone’s blogs. I’m sorry it took so long to get to you, but believe it or not there is still a substantial queue behind you. I promised myself I would at least get to your comment (I had noticed it earlier) before I got some sleep. Its pushing 3AM my time and I’ve been doing this for hours. I think its almost time to stop for the night.
I really appreciate your taking the time to read my post and comment. I enjoyed the wonderful pictures on your blog.
November 17, 2011 at 9:35 pm
vent2u
As Tony the Tiger would say…. GRrrrrrreat Great advice!
If people stop to read your blog, and then are good enough to leave a comment, they you should pay it forward as well. Good advice. Big Thanks, ….\\\ newbie here.
November 18, 2011 at 11:02 am
Miss Demure Restraint
I take it from my visit to your site that you are still getting up and running. Please let me know when you start posting and I’ll visit again.
Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to comment, I know how much time it takes to get a blog going.
November 17, 2011 at 9:38 pm
Day I Started Reading
Great post…Soooo liking and commenting on it 😀 Oh and thank you in advance for being nice enough to reply to my comments. It means a lot to me =O
November 18, 2011 at 11:11 am
Miss Demure Restraint
Well, your comment means a lot to me too. I never get tired of comments or the people that come here and make them.
Thank you and kudos on the “waste of time” post.
November 17, 2011 at 9:41 pm
hoowitt
A frank and honest, if perhaps marginally brutal, appraisal! But a very interesting take on it none-the-less. As you’ve said there are ‘trolls’ about and, to an extent, you wouldn’t be blamed for shirking responsibility. You also seem ruthlessly efficiently in your blogging technique…Dare I say it… OCD much?! :p Nah, I enjoyed this. You certainly have more blogging experience than I and this certainly seems insightful. Thanks.
November 18, 2011 at 4:10 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
I think my OCD may just kill me on this one. I’m popping over to each commenter’s blog before I reply and approve their comment here. LOL. Just don’t want to miss anyone. Sorry, I haven’t downloaded the translation app, so I really can’t read your. 😉
Thank you though for visiting and commenting on my post.
November 17, 2011 at 9:51 pm
Lynn Schneider
Saw your blog is Freshly Pressed which is always impressive to me. I’d be so excited if that ever happened to me. I’ve been blogging for nearly a year now, and it can get depressing, in that why-bother kind of way, I haven’t had any comment catfights, but that’s because I get almost no comments (except from my friends who feel obligated to, haha). Thank God for friends. I liked reading about your experiences in the blogging world, and will remember what you’ve said.
November 18, 2011 at 4:23 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
As you know, I’ve been blogging for four years. I never imagined it would happen to me. The “pressed” thing is most gratifying, but the reality is that after the hoopla dies down, I will have my wonderful group of blog buddies. We will read and comment on each others blogs. Maybe there will be few new faces. I have gotten so much out of blogging. Stick with it, you’ll find your niche’. I spent a lot of time blogging before I found mine.
Thank you and stick with it. In the end, you’ll be glad you did.
November 17, 2011 at 9:55 pm
kebperspectives
I am fairly new to wordpress and blogging in general, so I do not have issues yet with unruly people, thankfully. Hopefully, I will be able to moderate appropriately if someone does get out of hand, but I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt.
November 18, 2011 at 4:41 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
Most people are kind and respectful. The others are few and far between.
Thank you for taking the time to stop by and leave a comment.
November 17, 2011 at 10:10 pm
Anne Schilde
Oh yay! Finally one I beat WordPress to! It’s great that this one was Freshly Pressed! 🙂
November 18, 2011 at 1:20 am
Miss Demure Restraint
Me too! This the first blog I’ve ever read on a regular basis that got “Pressed.” Oh wait, its mine. I still can’t believe it. Don’t have a clue why either. I just don’t travel in the right circles or color well enough inside the lines for something like this to happen.
I’ll see you for sure over at Mindslam to see what he has cooked up for us next week, if not before then.
November 18, 2011 at 6:03 pm
Anne Schilde
But it happened! It wasn’t lost on me that you write so much really funny stuff and they picked a more serious piece to press. Writing fiction, I don’t have to worry about it. They’ve never posted one of those.
November 18, 2011 at 7:28 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
That’s what I thought and look at me now! I think they should select more fiction. A lot of people (read – me) would enjoy it.
Later, Anne
November 17, 2011 at 10:30 pm
societyred
Great post! Thanks for the tips on blogging responsibly. I’m only a couple months into the blog world and I see there is a lot learn. Glad you were freshly pressed and put in the spotlight! Going to update my comment moderation function now…
November 18, 2011 at 4:48 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
Thank you for dropping in and commenting. I hope the exposure of Freshly Pressed will help a lot of people and encourage people to participate more. I’ve stumbled around here for years and I still haven’t figured it all out yet.
November 17, 2011 at 10:36 pm
Eva McCane
great advice! i’ve made a couple mistakes including not responding to comments…but then i learned that people really appreciate a response, and you reciprocating the interest. good reminders that i’ll take to heart. thanks for sharing!
November 18, 2011 at 4:56 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
We do all like appreciation and reciprocation. It took me a long time to learn these lessons.
Thank you for your comment and reading. Loved your “Angel” post.
November 17, 2011 at 10:37 pm
zzabski
I like your blog;)
I invite u to follow my own official blog.
a lot of pictures and interesting facts from the life of architect
www. zzabski .wordpress .com
November 18, 2011 at 10:45 am
Miss Demure Restraint
So imagine my surprise when I was out checking the blogs of the commenters on this post, when I kept coming across this exact same comment on blog after blog. I must ask . . . did you read any of our posts? Is all you are looking to do is increase the number of followers you have? If you did read this I gotta say you have some pretty, big, ass clown balls.
I hope everyone that visits here sees this and deletes your spammy comments! I have taken the liberty of breaking the links in this comment prior to approving it.
November 18, 2011 at 2:17 pm
Eileen黃愛玲
The person said the same thing to me; I deleted it. I realized a trend myself.
November 18, 2011 at 4:01 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
You go girl. We can win this war . . . one spam at a time.
November 17, 2011 at 10:44 pm
the island traveler
One of the most relevant and relatable post I’ve ever read. This shows a lot of passion to one’s blog and his/her followers. Everything about this post explains why everyday I look forward in going through my comment section and reading the supportive comments.
Thanks for sharing the” bloggy golden rule . . . treat your fellow bloggers the way you wish to be treated. ” A wise and treasured advice particularly #2,3 and 4. Blogging is not just about wanting to be heard but it’s making connections and making a difference to each other. Have a blessed day and a toast to you, an amazing writer with a heart….
November 18, 2011 at 5:12 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
Thank you, but you are too kind. I hope I conveyed how I feel about Bloggyland being a community. We all live here and should act as we would in our real life neighborhoods. Sometimes I even feel more connected to my blog world than the real one. I can be a bit like a mother bear with her cub.
Thanks again for reading and commenting.
November 17, 2011 at 10:44 pm
fionacampbellart
I was booked on a social media session next week but I think your blog says it all… great advice – thanks! I have a lot to learn and obviously need to spend more time engaging with other blogs… Will try harder….!
November 18, 2011 at 5:21 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
Thank you for taking the time to comment here. I just have to say how much I admire your art. It’s exacting what gets me excited, especially the outdoor pieces. I have a long-time love of this type of work.
November 18, 2011 at 6:11 pm
fionacampbellart
Thanks for your kind comments. I don’t know how you manage to respond to us all. Don’t worry about replying to this!
November 18, 2011 at 7:30 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
These are the easy ones . . the people I recognize. I try to scan the new comments every once in awhile to reply to my old buddies and replies like this one. As to the responding to “all,” the jury is still out.
Later.
November 17, 2011 at 10:50 pm
riatarded
True, we all like receiving comments but i hate spam! 🙂 This was a good read!
November 18, 2011 at 5:28 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
Thank you and your picture of fall in Ontario delightful.
November 17, 2011 at 10:56 pm
theduffboy
Man, I would hate for a clown to steal my ball. “Give it, back, Krusty!”. Thanks for the advice. Comments are mini high fives that, in this tweeting and Blackberry Messenger age, feel very rewarding in the most geeky sense.
November 18, 2011 at 5:32 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
Thanks for the high five and I confess I’m totally a geek.
November 17, 2011 at 10:59 pm
Lee
Thanks for a great post! Just dropping by to say, I read it (and most of the comments). 🙂
November 18, 2011 at 5:39 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
I can’t imagine how long that took. Thank you for your time spent here and the thoughtful comment.
November 17, 2011 at 11:03 pm
Mika
I totally agree with all your points here! Nice post! 🙂
November 18, 2011 at 5:57 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
Thank you, Mika. I’m glad you visited.
November 17, 2011 at 11:06 pm
Emily929
Thank you for taking time to establish yourself as the Emily Post of the blog world. You would think that these well-stated rules would be no-brainers! Then again, you would think that most people wouldn’t let doors slam in other people’s faces and would chew with their mouths closed. C’est la vie.
I’ve heard that a major way to establish your blog among the thousands is to read lots of blogs (even ones you could care less about) and leave comments with links to your blog. I refuse. I will read what I want to read and comment when something is comment-worthy. This post is most definitely comment-worthy. Kudos to you.
November 18, 2011 at 5:52 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
I’m glad you found it “comment-worthy.” Thousands of readers? LMAO. Until yesterday, I was overwhelmed to have double digits.
Thanks for stopping by.
November 17, 2011 at 11:18 pm
Bulbous Anthills on Spikes « Fiona's blog
[…] read a good blog about how to blog and realised I’ve been neglectful of my own… I also have a lot to […]
November 17, 2011 at 11:29 pm
klrs09
You know, that was a damn fine post. Congrats on being FP’d. Well deserved.
November 18, 2011 at 6:01 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
I’m damn happy you liked it. Good luck on NaNoWriMo and thanks for spending some of your precious time here.
November 17, 2011 at 11:31 pm
electricalestimator
I am a blooger for a very specific trade, electrical construction estimating. Even in my narrow world I have hade a few strange comments that I felt “pressured” to approve. Thanks to your remarks, I am going on a removel quest as soon as I hit “Post Comment”. Thanks
November 18, 2011 at 6:04 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
I visited your site. It is very professional and well-put together. I didn’t leave a comment as it really wouldn’t have been appropriate.
I’m glad my post had some value for you and thank you for your comment here.
November 17, 2011 at 11:34 pm
PikiFriends
I’m passionate about teaching young people good “digital citizenship” skills, and your tips are great to reference. I’ve created a curriculum that addresses many issues related to being a good person online to go along with the online blogging platform “PikiFriends” for jr/sr high schools. If more teachers worked on this aspect of technology in schools I’m sure we’d see less trolls on the web! Maybe your blog should be required reading! Keep up your great writing.
-Jeff Dionne
November 18, 2011 at 6:14 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
I love what you are doing (as I said in your blog). There is so much that can be learn from blogging. Not just the information available, but about being responsible, sharing, self-expression . . . you know all of that obviously. I’d be honored to have you share this post anytime, anywhere.
Thank you for your compliment and your comment.
November 17, 2011 at 11:35 pm
DOT
Thanks for that. I’m new to blogging and it is helpful to read your experiences.
November 18, 2011 at 6:20 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
You are welcome and good luck with your 2012 project. Sound like it will be a fun ride. Thanks for stopping by.
November 18, 2011 at 12:09 am
ashazenzi
love the post! lol!!! no reallyI DO! i expressed similar sentiments here: http://wp.me/p1Siem-5V
and i promise (cross my heart with a cherry on top) that i’m not riding on your freshly pressed coat-tails by including my link! just wanted to commiserate! 😀
November 18, 2011 at 6:37 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
Ride away . . . as a matter of fact . . . HEY PEEPS. THE LINK ABOVE IS WELL WORTH READING.
I hope to hear from you. Soon isn’t necessary as I’m overwhelmed getting to everyone’s blog and replying to their comments, but I’m serious about your input.
November 18, 2011 at 12:09 am
rastelly
I occaisionally describe my blog’s content when making
comments on sites where I feel people might be interested.
If I come across a comment touting an article or story that
sounds interesting, I check it out. As long as you bother
to offer an indication that you actually read the matieral
in question, along with some observations on it, I don’t
see what the problem is. Being “Freshly Pressed.” Puts
you in a place that is highly visible and anything left here
has a good chance of being seen – I believe that with
proper Spametticute – people should be allowed to
advertize there blogs – as long as the matieral they
are touting is not in direct competition with yours.
Touting a cholate chip cookie recipe on a blog
that also features a cholate-chip cookie recipe.
Might be bad form . . . 😉
November 18, 2011 at 6:49 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
I agree with you 100%. If you take a look at the commenter just before you, you’ll see she left a relevant link. I read it, loved it and recommend anyone seeing it read it. Its the ass clowns that don’t bother to read the post, offer nothing relevant in their comment and are just promoting their blog for the sake of promoting their blog, that I have issue with. There’s an example of that too somewhere in these comments (some architect, you can find it if you look).
You bring up a good point . . . there is a time and a place, but blatant promotion is spam. Thanks for your comment. It was relevant. BTW, I loved your ghost story and recommend it to any lovers of flash fiction or just plain good writing.
November 19, 2011 at 4:35 pm
rastelly
Thanks. Just letting you know,
I read this and am grateful. 🙂
November 19, 2011 at 4:51 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
You are very welcome. Comments like this one make all the work worth it. 🙂
November 18, 2011 at 12:10 am
revtona
“Play nice and people will play with you. . . Oh yeah, it never hurts to link to your buddies occasionally in your posts.” Yes indeed. I love these two and think they may be the batman-and-robin of blogging rules. (Holy canoli, Batman! We’re stuck in a reply! How can we get into a blog?)
It’s sad to say, but while we are taught those two rules–play nice and give sometimes, don’t always take–from kindergarten or earlier, some folks are just slooow on the uptake. But, as long a folks like you (and I) are willing to keep repeating them like a mantra, there is hope!
November 18, 2011 at 7:09 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
So how about one of those links . . . http://wouldntyouloveitif.wordpress.com/2011/11/17/preteens-knew-what-to-do-with-themselves/#comment-34. Revtona is promoting a worthy cause being championed by a very noble 12 year old. Check it out.
Thanks for leaving the kind comment, Revtona.
November 18, 2011 at 12:17 am
thewaiting
Congrats on being Freshly Pressed, Miss DR! As usual, you are spot on in your bloggy observations. I’m still new to this whole thing and you’re a great example to me as to how it’s done properly. 🙂
November 18, 2011 at 1:11 am
Miss Demure Restraint
I don’t know how properly I’m going to handle all of this unexpected attention. Geez!
Thanks for coming by and being one of the people I count as a blog friend.
November 18, 2011 at 4:00 pm
thewaiting
Handle it with a great bottle of wine! That’s what I’d do!
November 18, 2011 at 4:28 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
I may just do that. 🙂
November 18, 2011 at 12:33 am
Leigh
Great points, and ugh, great warnings too. I have never let myself think deep enough to think someone might get ugly on here. hmmmmmmmmm…now I will pinch myself on occasion and remember there are “not so nice” people still wandering about. Sad.
I will also look forward to hearing from the kind souls and many kindred spirits that move in and out of our blog space. : )
Great post!
November 18, 2011 at 7:23 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
Thank you for your comment and you thank you for passing through this blog space. 🙂
November 18, 2011 at 12:36 am
Janae's Fallgirl Shepherd
Love humor so I’ll be back soon…
November 18, 2011 at 7:40 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
You are always welcome and thanks for this visit.
November 18, 2011 at 12:37 am
Phil
Well I’ll be. I clicked here by way of Androgoth’s blog, enjoyed the article immensely, and decided I would comment, but read the other comments as well. Scrolling through, I noticed some references to this being Freshly Pressed, and so I went to the Freshly Pressed page and Voila! Congratulations!
Oh, back to the comments. I usually moderate the first time posts, and thereafter if I’ve approved of a commenter, they can post without my moderation, although I receive a notification that there is a comment. I’ve been lucky so far, not having any flaming war erupt on my blog. Of course I don’t have a huge group of followers, and the few that I have I’ve probably put to sleep anyway with my writing. But I can appreciate the need to not let anyone intimidate you into thinking you need to allow their post to stand. Your blog is your home, and if people can’t play nice, you can make them leave and shouldn’t feel guilty at all doing so. I didn’t realize you had taken a respite, but I like what I see here, so welcome back!
November 18, 2011 at 1:06 am
Miss Demure Restraint
I’m finding there were a lot of people that took some time off. I tried to change the settings to allow my friends’ comments to post right through, but I seem to have done something wrong. I’ll try to fix it again after this “Pressed” thing is over. I just took a break from replying and checking out all new visitors’ blogs to look for my friends. Saw you and Androgoth, so I figured I’d take you out of the queue and answer you right away.
If I’m quiet for a day or two it’s the “Pressed” thing and I’ll get caught up with all of you ASAP.
As always you make my blog better with your insights. Thank you.
November 18, 2011 at 12:39 am
jamieshehan
I love the dresser you redid. The stain is perfect! Oh wait…
But really comment etiquette is very important. For the longest time I thought I wasn’t very cool if I commented back to quickly or at all.
November 18, 2011 at 8:16 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
I love the name of your blog . . . Mommy’s Cigar. That’s great.
I struggled with the commenting too. I have an exception learning curve . . . long that is.
Thanks for stopping to chat. BTW . . . I refinish furniture. LOL.
November 18, 2011 at 12:52 am
KeitherB
I some times “Skim” through blogs just to see I may run across something funny or interesting . But as i was skimming you lol , I decided to start from the beginning and read every word . Great Blog 🙂
I am new to the Blogging world , and I am finding that its pretty addicting .
and i cant wait for my first comment fight on one of my blogs !!!! haha
…………………….Take care , KeitherB
November 18, 2011 at 8:26 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
It can be an addiction, a hobby, an outlet, a social experience and just about anything else you can think of. I’ve seen things, but if I tell you about them, I’ll have to kill ya.
Thanks for commenting and spreading the news of the Seattle Pepperspray Epidemic.
You take care too.
November 18, 2011 at 1:01 am
emariaenterprises
“Lost I may yet reach my goal . . . Without finding all that I seek . . . I might still be made whole.”
Great quote. Love that thought.
I liked your thoughts on blogging and comments as well. I haven’t been blogging long enough to find an audience (only a few days), but if I ever get enough comments to start a comments cat fight, I’ll be sure to remember to activate the (what was that called?) oh yeah, the comment moderator function. Oh and “Freshly Pressed”. I guess that’s some decent recognition too. Congrats on that. I still haven’t figured out how to activate the Press This function, in spite of the excellent instructions in here.(big sigh) Someday…..
November 18, 2011 at 8:50 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
All things in good time. You have an interesting blog and you are posting a lot. Both will get you readers.
Thank you for noticing the tag line. Many people don’t even see it. I’m rather proud of it.
Glad you stopped by and left a note. See you around the Blogosphere.
November 18, 2011 at 1:02 am
lifeonapress
im new at this and this is very relevant to my interest, thakn you for the share 🙂
November 18, 2011 at 8:53 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
We’re always open. Come back and see us anytime.
Thanks for coming by.
November 18, 2011 at 1:08 am
Just Me With . . .
I’m new to this whole blogging thing. I did pick up on the fact that visiting other blogs is important and fun. And anytime i can get reinforcement that I don’t have to approve every comment — I’ll take it.
November 18, 2011 at 9:04 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
The blog is yours 100%. You are in charge and nothing else matters.
Good luck with the blogging. I hope it give you the outlet you need.
November 18, 2011 at 1:08 am
Julio Eiffelt R R
I get new trick. but i have done some of them.
Great Post.. 🙂
November 18, 2011 at 9:05 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
Thank you and feel free to come by anytime.
November 18, 2011 at 1:15 am
Ani Andromeda
Perhaps those who use blogs to ‘behave badly’ should be put in a room with a Penelope Pit-Bot. Great Post.
November 18, 2011 at 9:12 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
I will definitely be sending miscreants directly to Penelope Pit-Bot. That aught to do the trick. PPB, also a great post.
November 18, 2011 at 1:18 am
Life's amazing journey
Common sense…I like that. Such a useful thing in blog-world 🙂
November 18, 2011 at 11:45 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
Sorry if I got a little carried away with my comment on your blog. Just sharing.
Thank you for coming by and leaving a comment.
November 18, 2011 at 1:20 am
kristina@beancakes ★
thank you for your tips on blogging etiquette! i am a big believer in playing nice w. others and also love supporting bloggers that support me! and i must admit that i have a hard time continuing to visit and comment on blogs that never come around to pay me a visit. i mean come on? doesn’t everyone know that it feels nice to have commenters? thanks again!!
xx ~ kristina
November 18, 2011 at 11:53 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
That’s what I’m talking about . . . when there’s no response, its like there’s never anybody home, so you stop visiting. When they never come to visit you, it gets really hard to keep visiting them.
Thanks for the comment, Kristina and love the green shoes!
November 18, 2011 at 1:23 am
Ramu Nair
I enjoyed reading your post. I am relatively new to wordpress (September this year). I love the way you organise your thoughts and present it. I am looking forward to your future post.
November 19, 2011 at 12:09 am
Miss Demure Restraint
I hope you will come around in the future. I loved your son’s letter.
Thank you for commenting and the lovely compliment.
November 18, 2011 at 1:23 am
timotheous128
OH MY GOSH!!! Miss D!!! I didn’t know this got Pressed!!! (That would explain why my phone is exploding with updates!) Congratulations!!! ^_^
November 18, 2011 at 1:30 am
Miss Demure Restraint
Who’da thought? No me for sure. So, I’m buried, but in a good way. A lot of very cool people dropping in, but my old computer is having fits with all this traffic. Thanks for stopping by and I promise I’ll get caught up with all the blogs I follow (like yours) as soon as the dusk settles.
Later, Tim
November 18, 2011 at 1:32 am
timotheous128
Haha! I can imagine!
And no rush. I’m sure you’re having loads of fun. 😉
November 18, 2011 at 1:39 am
Miss Demure Restraint
I may be redefining fun here shortly. 😉
November 18, 2011 at 1:55 am
Sony Fugaban
Direct answer to the the second question: SPAM COMMENTS!
Common sense on what you think is helpful already speaks on this blog etiquette thing.
November 19, 2011 at 12:30 am
Miss Demure Restraint
Yeah . . . common sense goes a long way. I know what you mean. Its really annoying when the commenter doesn’t seem to have even looked over the post.
Thank you.
November 21, 2011 at 2:32 am
Sony Fugaban
It is and that goes to the capitalized words on my first comment.
I forgot to say thank you the last time, so THANKS! … for sharing this post (this piece of your beautiful mind) with us. This is one piece of work I must say and the responses attest to that.
Congratulations!
November 21, 2011 at 5:37 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
You’d think common sense would dictate spam commenters stay away from this post, but sadly, no. There’s one guy actually using my blogroll and the commenters here to spread his self promoting spam across WordPress. I’m really sorry to all the folks that got hit by him. It makes me sad he feels that is all he can do to get people to visit his blog.
You are most welcome and please come back anytime.
November 22, 2011 at 2:56 am
Sony Fugaban
I have all the reason, MDR. 😉
November 18, 2011 at 2:27 am
My Camera, My Friend
I don’t always take time to respond in kind to everyone, but I do at least check out every blogger who likes or comments on my blog. It’s nice to see who else is out there and what my audience is. Not to mention that I often like what I find.
November 19, 2011 at 12:38 am
Miss Demure Restraint
It is always good to know your audience.
Thanks for taking the time to comment here.
November 18, 2011 at 2:30 am
Cee
honestly, the post was not too long. i wanted to read more! 🙂 congrats on the FP!
November 19, 2011 at 12:55 am
Miss Demure Restraint
Thanks, Cee. I really liked your post on the reasons you were leaving Facebook for a while. I appreciate you commenting.
November 18, 2011 at 2:44 am
Grace
Great post! I’ve never had a situation let that’s led me to decide to turn on moderation, although I’m never very far from a computer, so I can almost always at least view comments within an hour or two of their being posted. Then again, my blog is a book blog, which doesn’t tend to be very conducive to trolling. I can’t quite imagine what literature trolls would even say! I do think, however, that WordPress’ spam filter is quite excellent, and it’s more likely to catch and ask me about a legitimate comment than to let an obnoxious spammer slip through. 😀
November 19, 2011 at 1:22 am
Miss Demure Restraint
I agree the WP spam filters are great and I find I am more often moving a comment out of spam than ever find one of the commerical ones they missed. Its the legitimate bloggers the use spam comments that can be problematic. No filter in the world is going to stop them, because they are real comments but not genuine readers.
Thanks for reading and comment. Enjoy the “Left Hand of Darkness.” I consider it a classic.
November 19, 2011 at 3:01 am
Grace
Thank you!
November 18, 2011 at 2:45 am
elysiafields
I’ve made the rounds, read the blogs relevant to my pet topic, made thoughtful responses of at least a paragraph, and so far, nothing has come back. I can’t even get a discussion going about a topic of mutual interest!! People sure can be stingy.
November 19, 2011 at 1:39 am
Miss Demure Restraint
I really wish I could make some meaningful suggestions here, but your pet topic is way outside my scope of knowledge. I read several of your posts. They are well written and you are obviously very knowledgeable, but other than occasional references, I have to admit I didn’t have the slightest idea what you were talking about. Yours is a very academic blog and your audience will be limited. You have done the things I would suggest.
I appreciate you spending time here and your comment. I also wish you luck with your blog.
November 18, 2011 at 2:45 am
Audrey
Thanks for a wonderful post. There are too many people out there who don’t feel ‘being nice’ is worth their trouble, but honestly, doesn’t it take as much time and energy doing the opposite? So if you can take the trouble to be a pain, you could take all that energy and turn it towards something nice; at least this way, there’s the chance that something positive can be passed on, and you get to do your part in making the world a better place instead of tearing it down.
Basically my take on it is this – you are free to disagree with me, but you don’t have to be rude or mean about it. I’m glad you got the nerve and the self-awareness to stand up and deal with it.
Congrats on being Freshly Pressed!
November 19, 2011 at 1:47 am
Miss Demure Restraint
I don’t disagree at all. You are right.
Thank you for your comment and enjoy your new book acquisitions.
November 18, 2011 at 2:55 am
yeartwothree
Nice article, I need some help learning how to expand my blogging community on here, seems like you’ve got some experience in that realm. I look foward to following you!
November 19, 2011 at 2:24 am
Miss Demure Restraint
Basically, the things in the post are the best advice I can give to anyone wishing to expand your blogging community. Personally, I think I’m extremely lucky to have the wonderful people that stop here regularly and provide me endless entertainment with their blogs.
I’d be very happy to have you as part of that group.
November 18, 2011 at 2:57 am
Simply Stephanie
Love this! Agree 100%!
November 19, 2011 at 2:36 am
Miss Demure Restraint
Thanks and I agree with your Sexist Man list 100%
November 18, 2011 at 2:59 am
avomnia
My peeve? As you said, someone stops by and, for all I know, actually reads the post, and leaves what I consider the ultimate in underachievement and effort: “Thanks for sharing.”
I can taste trace amounts of bile in the back of my throat!
November 19, 2011 at 2:38 am
Miss Demure Restraint
I know, I know. Its hard to tell what they are talking about at that point.
Thanks for sharing. 🙂
November 18, 2011 at 3:15 am
Writing Jobs
Funny!
November 19, 2011 at 2:41 am
Miss Demure Restraint
Anybody interested in a “job” writing on the internet (writing skills not required) or SEO services.
See how sly these little devils are.
November 18, 2011 at 3:37 am
poetrasoekardi
Agreed with you Miss D. Thanks to reminds me to behave on Blogosphere..
November 19, 2011 at 2:42 am
Miss Demure Restraint
I’d love to comment on your blog, but as I said early my translation app isn’t loaded.
Thank you though for your thoughtful comment.
November 18, 2011 at 3:40 am
Nigel Windsor
You go girl! I’m so excited you got freshly pressed!
November 18, 2011 at 3:49 am
Miss Demure Restraint
Isn’t it exciting? “I accept this honor on behalf of all the people that have faithly followed and commented and provided me blogs full of humor, fun and enlightenment!”
Seriously, thank you Nigel for being one of those people. I expect to have a couple of “stranger than fact” articles waiting for me at your place when I come up for air.
November 18, 2011 at 4:55 pm
conditionalcognition
Super cool! Freshly Pressed! Congrats! It was just a little more than a week ago when you were wondering about the possibility of this happening. You’re awesome and deserve it. Well done!
November 18, 2011 at 7:34 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
Hello. I’m glad to see an old-bie (okay, I’m getting a little punchy). I think dismissing the possibility is probably more accurate. 🙂 Just goes to show . . . “you never know.”
November 18, 2011 at 3:45 am
NewtownLiving
My God Hilarious! And you’re an awesome blog friend giving nods and traffic to likes of Mr. Goth! I adore his blog too and the Nasty manners fellow. Congrats 🙂
November 19, 2011 at 2:50 am
Miss Demure Restraint
I know Androgoth is one of my very favorite bloggers in the world. He is awesomely wicked.
Thanks for the comment and congrats.
November 18, 2011 at 4:26 am
connecting2you
Thank you for the very interesting, informative and entertaining post. I’m new to blogging and feel I have learned a lot from reading your blog. I’ve barely begun to write but am trying to read others so as to learn and really feel I got a lot from my time with you.
Thank you once again.
D.
November 19, 2011 at 3:02 am
Miss Demure Restraint
Thank you for spending time with me and come back anytime.
Good luck with your shiny new blog.
November 18, 2011 at 4:31 am
Luna Kadampa
I don’t always have time to look at FP articles, except at weekends, but i’m glad i looked at yours as it reinforced for me, in a very easy manner, what to do and what not to do when it comes to commenting on blogs. It is common sense, but somehow it is good to have it spelled out there in black and white, with those four points. Thanks!
(I better go answer some of the neglected comments on my blog… I mean to, but then they get away and pile up! Another golden rule is to try to get to them fast, right?)
November 19, 2011 at 3:18 am
Miss Demure Restraint
Oh yes. It is always a good thing to respond to your comments as quickly as possible. I’m sorry to have taken so long to reply to yours. On the other hand, to respond any faster would require sacrificing the quality of the responses and prevent me from visiting the blogs of those that commented. I believe in this case, I am diligent. I hope those waiting will understand and appreciate that whether they were the first to comment or the last, they will receive the same attention and respect.
Thank you for your comment here and bring up the need for timely replies.
November 19, 2011 at 4:40 pm
Luna Kadampa
And thank you for taking the time to visit my blog on what must be a crazy busy day for you! You’re walking the talk on this one 🙂
November 19, 2011 at 4:50 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
And, man, do I have the blisters to prove it. Sorry it took so long. I have some more miles to go, but thanks for the acknowledgement.
November 18, 2011 at 4:36 am
Karaboo
Congratulations on being FP’d!!
As a relatively new blogger, I really appreciate these tips – especially replying to the comments. It’s something I picked up from another blogger’s comments – and now I’ve picked up another – replying when I Loved the blog I’m reading.
Thank you!
November 19, 2011 at 3:26 am
Miss Demure Restraint
I’m glad it was helpful. If we all do our part, who knows how far we will go.
Thank your for coming here and leaving your comment. Occupy Xerox!
November 18, 2011 at 4:39 am
evasantiago310
Thank you, I learned a few new things about blogging from your post. I like your expression assclown ( still smiling) I know if my teen kids see assclown, they’re gonna run with it lol. I’ll be back!
November 19, 2011 at 3:32 am
Miss Demure Restraint
Oh dear. I think the kids are where I heard it. 🙂
I do hope you come back and thank you for this visit.
November 18, 2011 at 4:42 am
Just a Few Observations on Playing Nice in the Blogosphere « Miss Demure Restraint | the tao of jaklumen
[…] Just a Few Observations on Playing Nice in the Blogosphere « Miss Demure Restraint. Share this:ShareTwitterLike this:LikeBe the first to like this post. […]
November 18, 2011 at 4:52 am
Rick Gleason
I have no blog “pet peeves” (other than what you’ve already mentioned). The blogosphere is like the world around us. There are good people and there are bad ones.
Now when it comes to drivers… I’ve got lots of pp’s! Those who don’t know how to use turn signals for starters…
Congratulations on being Freshly Pressed. Good for you!
November 19, 2011 at 3:45 am
Miss Demure Restraint
. . . passing on the right, riding in the blind spot or on the bumper and honking needlessly. I guess I have a lot of pet peeves.
Thanks for the congrats and the comment. Merry Christmas!
November 18, 2011 at 4:53 am
perspectivesandprejudices
Love your post 🙂 My blog etiquette – I always check with people before adding them to my blogroll! Congrats on being Freshly Pressed!
November 19, 2011 at 3:53 am
Miss Demure Restraint
Always a good idea. I’m afraid I blew through that one yesterday in the mad rush to get as many of my blog friend in as possible in the hope that some of them would be visited by the many readers I had from being Freshly Pressed. I think they will forgive me. That’s the kind of people they are.
Thank you for the compliment and stopping in at MDR.
November 18, 2011 at 5:22 am
Jodie
I love your post, you have a great sense of humor. 🙂 I’m still fairly new to blogging so thank you for the tips. 🙂
November 19, 2011 at 4:10 am
Miss Demure Restraint
I’m glad you liked it and came by. Jodie, you didn’t leave a link back to your blog. If you come leave one in the comments, I’ll come visit you.
Thanks for the wonderful comment.
November 18, 2011 at 5:37 am
Moonmooring
I di not make it all the way through the 175 comments to this post. 175, that’s awesome! My work doesn’t usually incite anyone to high emotion so I don’t use the comment moderation BUT I do always always always reply to comments.
Nice work,
Sarah
November 19, 2011 at 4:23 am
Miss Demure Restraint
Well, then I’ll let you know . . . I believe your comment is going to be #373. I can’t imagine anyone, but me, reading all the comments.
I’m glad you came and left me a comment. Thank you, Sarah. After reading your blog, I think I’ll go make a wrap. You made me hungry.
November 18, 2011 at 6:12 am
kitchenmudge
One rule that I might suggest is not to write in you blog about writing in your blog. How do you think that would fly?
November 19, 2011 at 4:40 am
Miss Demure Restraint
Its akin to looking at yourself in a mirror looking at yourself in a mirror.
Thanks for dropping in.
November 18, 2011 at 6:14 am
Samantha
Great post! I blog once in awhile (wish I had more time but I’m in school full-time and like to procrastinate) but I never really considered this a community until I read your post and the comments. I need to get out on the “blogosphere” more 🙂
November 19, 2011 at 4:55 am
Miss Demure Restraint
Oh yeah . . . mine is a sardonic, snarky community of writers with couple of graphic artist and cartoonist thrown in for diversity. I love me peeps.
You’re welcome to come visit anytime and thanks for the comment.
November 18, 2011 at 6:28 am
Brenda Clevenger
All good reminders to play nice and just plain be nice. I read a great article about shining the light on others instead of always self promoting so that’s my new motto. When you share the love, love will come back.
November 19, 2011 at 5:11 am
Miss Demure Restraint
I couldn’t say it better myself. Thanks for stopping in, Brenda and shining a light.
November 18, 2011 at 6:32 am
richannkur
good one.
November 19, 2011 at 5:14 am
Miss Demure Restraint
Thank you.
November 18, 2011 at 6:37 am
wanderingmenace
Hi there!
This is my first time here (just saw you on freshly pressed). I like what you’ve come up with here regarding comments. It’s true, interacting with those who comment is a big deal. Everyone is busy, so it’s nice when you comment on someone’s blog and they respond.
I’m happy to have landed here today to check out some of your other posts and take a look at who you’re following. Always fun when you discover a whole new pocket of bloggers to explore.
Nice to meet you 🙂
November 19, 2011 at 5:24 am
Miss Demure Restraint
I hope you find them as entertaining as I do. I saw you already know John when I visited your blog.
Nice to meet you too and don’t be a stranger. Wait . . . we specialize in strange here, so come back and see us somethime.
BTW, I loved the train story.
November 18, 2011 at 6:50 am
lifeloveandbaby
Thanks for answering the very questions I’ve been kicking around since I entered the blogging world – oh, about three minutes ago. Now I see I’ve got some work to do. But first, I’d like to just say I completely agree that comments can completely take over and ruin an otherwise perfectly interesting and clever post. I’ve seen it happen too many times while trying to enjoy some favorite postings myself.
November 19, 2011 at 5:41 am
Miss Demure Restraint
I really want to thank you for coming by. I just loved your blog.
Thanks for the comment and I hope I see you around the Blogosphere.
November 18, 2011 at 6:58 am
stillstrange
Very interesting and informative post. Thank You. 🙂
November 19, 2011 at 5:50 am
Miss Demure Restraint
No thank you. I hope you aren’t really gone, but WP says your blog has been deleted. Let me know if you have another one.
November 18, 2011 at 7:39 am
alfredpacino
Very nice
November 19, 2011 at 5:53 am
Miss Demure Restraint
Thanks.
November 18, 2011 at 7:45 am
somkritya
Loved your post, I had disabled the moderating comment button just to make it easy for me and every body else( cos i didnt want who ever posted a comment to wait till I get time to approve, ) but after reading your post i am into moderating comment again…makes sense.
and agree with you on thanking people who take time to read and comment. thanking them for the encouragement and critique is the least one can do.
November 19, 2011 at 6:02 am
Miss Demure Restraint
I know a lot of people aren’t really “getting” it. Trolls are people that have only one objective to be disruptive and mean. It doesn’t matter what content you have in your blog. You have a beautiful blog and I’m glad there is no chance now of these wicked little monsters doing any damage there.
Thank you for the insightful comment and taking the time to read my blog.
November 18, 2011 at 7:55 am
Connie T
I love to get comments. I do go to the commenters blog and liking their blog. Congrats on being Freshly pressed.
November 19, 2011 at 6:07 am
Miss Demure Restraint
Thank you for reading and comment on my blog. My brown sugar thanks you too.
November 18, 2011 at 7:55 am
syifacerewet
amazing..!!!
November 19, 2011 at 6:22 am
Miss Demure Restraint
Thank you!
November 18, 2011 at 8:01 am
submeg
Interesting ideas – I’ve always made sure I have the comment moderation on, considering all the spam that comes through! Crazy spammers!
November 19, 2011 at 6:42 am
Miss Demure Restraint
And worse crazy self-promoting ass clowns. I think that’s my #1 pet peeve. What I have found amazing is how many I got on this post.
Glad you stopped by and good luck with circum navigating the globe.
December 3, 2011 at 3:22 pm
submeg
Yes, it is quite bizarre! I’ve had so many myself
Haha, thanks!
December 6, 2011 at 3:43 am
Miss Demure Restraint
🙂 Yes.
November 18, 2011 at 9:06 am
matthewhyde
Blog etiquette? I probably break most of it by accident! i agree completely about engaging with the wider blogosphere – I’m too hit and miss about it, and I think my blog suffers from it.
I may also have been slightly hit with the tl;dr stick…
November 19, 2011 at 6:59 am
Miss Demure Restraint
Easy fix, but everybody wants something different from their blog. It’s a personal choice.
Thanks for the comment and my vote is NO to a Dr. Who movie.
November 18, 2011 at 9:15 am
Clear Possibilities
Fantastic post. First time I’ve read your blog and now I’m intrigued. Will read more…….
November 19, 2011 at 7:08 am
Miss Demure Restraint
I hope you do. Thank you for spending time here and leaving a comment.
November 18, 2011 at 9:26 am
gertieapigo
For a newbie like me, I surely need this. All I do is go through freshly pressed, get to know every blog, how each blogger presents their blog and get the chance in whatever way to the blogosphere. Actually, even just a simple like is already something to me so I drop my co-bloggers some lines of appreciation and the rest of blog-communication follows. I wish I could be “heard” as well whenever I comment on blogs that I read. I may be a boring writer (as I’m not really a pro) and quite reserved for some reasons (guys I’m from the other side of the world) but I’m really trying and that is why I am so open to whatever my commenters will say about my posts. I’m always waiting… 😀
November 19, 2011 at 7:41 am
Miss Demure Restraint
You are definitely NOT a boring writer. What is a pro? Someone that has published a book? Anyone can publish a book. Someone that is paid for writing? I’ve had several jobs through the years that paid me to write. Honestly, those jobs did more to destroy my style and stifle my verve than any 9-to-5 ever did. Being a writer is something you either are or aren’t. I write because I love it. It is part of who I am. I need to write as much as I need to breathe.
First thing . . . if the only blogs you are reading and commenting on are “Freshly Pressed,” STOP! There are thousands of great blogs that have never been and may never be “Freshly Pressed.” Sure, its an honor, but it doesn’t mean anything except you caught the eye of the WordPress team charged with find blogs to feature on the home screen. Check out the Popular Tags. Go to a tag that you and your writing relate to. Read and comment on the ones you like. I can’t guarantee everybody is going to respond, but some will. Find your place and build bridges and relationships.
Most importantly . . . be patient. Write for yourself and develop your craft. I wrote and posted for months before I got my first comment. I have dozens of posts that have no comments at all. I have been writing since I was a child. Most of the words I’ve written in my life no one but me has ever seen.
I’m sorry you thought I didn’t like your comment because I wasn’t able to reply as quickly as you thought I should. I hope you understand that it had nothing to do with you and everything to do with the volume of comments I was answering as well as time I was spending on each commenter and their blog. I also hope that this reply was worth the time you spent waiting for it and the time I spent making it.
Please come and visit anytime. You are always welcome.
November 19, 2011 at 7:54 pm
gertieapigo
I’m so “newbie” and stupid for thinking that yes of course, you need to moderate every single comment you receive before you publish given the bulk of responses you receive every minute. I was just so excited to go back to what I commented in your blog and hear you say something about it. I’M REALLY SORRY I acted abruptly insecure. I hope it was not rude at all.
I chose to receive notifications on your comments to this post and all I can say is WOW! I envy you for this. I’ve got a lot of frustrations and one of them is to be recognized in my crafts. I’d most often fail myself because I think I’m not doing well and going far. And my blog? I think I don’t cover really what my heart is up to. Maybe you can help me out as well (based on what is available – by the way I’m a Filipina and a hotelier in Dubai).
Thanks for the like in one of my posts. And thank you most of all for spending the time on my comment. I’ve learned a lot. I’m sorry again if I sounded stubborn. I just felt bad NOT TO YOU but about myself. I do hope you understand where I’m coming from.
All the best!
November 19, 2011 at 8:14 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
Its not a problem at all. Come back around when things calm down. I’d love to do anything I can to help. Things are getting a little blurry. I’ve been to so many blogs and they have been wonderful places. You have my e-mail feel free to write, just give me sometime to get back on my feet. Okay?
Again, not give it another thought.
November 20, 2011 at 11:01 am
gertieapigo
Sure will do. I hope you didn’t get me wrong.
Thanks again! Sure will drop you lines soon 😀
November 20, 2011 at 4:28 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
No worries. Talk to you soon.
November 18, 2011 at 9:27 am
W. R. Woolf
It should be obligatory to read this post before creating a blog; the few people who don’t have any common sense of their own might absorb some 🙂
November 19, 2011 at 7:53 am
Miss Demure Restraint
I wish I had read something like this when I first started blogging. Thanks so much for reading and commenting. I’m going to say this one more time and then I’m going to shut up about it. Man, you are good.
November 19, 2011 at 8:20 am
W. R. Woolf
Oh, you read my texts? YAY!
Ups, I promise not to say that too many times, but yay 😀
November 19, 2011 at 9:26 am
Miss Demure Restraint
Yes, I read them and I think they are great! 😉
November 18, 2011 at 10:23 am
jumbledcoffeethoughts
it’s a joy to read your posts… i read blogs to pass the horrible traffic away and this sure is good company!
November 19, 2011 at 8:52 am
Miss Demure Restraint
Thank you so much. I’d love to have you come back again soon. I had fun with your post too. I hope you don’t mind. CU L8R!
November 18, 2011 at 10:39 am
imperfectous
Miss D, you have totally encouraged me on the whole blogging thing and i love your work.got to know you while going through enreal.me’s blog page.i like what you doing here.totally amazing i must say.
November 19, 2011 at 9:07 am
Miss Demure Restraint
Enreal is an old friend and any friend of her’s is a friend of mine. I noticed a couple of newer friends when I was on your blog just now.
Your comment pleases me to no end. I quite enjoyed your poetry and hope we will be seeing more of each other.
November 18, 2011 at 10:41 am
A Pakistani Boy
I think it was best to make the post go long 😉
I totally agree with you. People take out their time to read our blogs, so it becomes our responsibility to read theirs too and comment 🙂
Great post! and very informative for new bloggers 🙂
November 19, 2011 at 10:03 am
Miss Demure Restraint
Thank you for approving of the length. I always try not to make the posts too large. I’m glad you liked it. I liked your blog too, especially your About Page.
Glad you came by and left a comment so I could find your blog.
November 18, 2011 at 10:54 am
Darcy Isla
I really appreciate this advice. I have had my blog for about two years and am only really just starting to develop my understanding on WordPress, the tools, the habits, the etiquette. I am of the mind that yes, you have to give a little to get a little, and you should always announce it when you feel something in response to someone or what they have said. I believe we should always note the small moments of beauty and connection in life, and your post is acting as a reminder for me to do so. There is no excuse to be lazy and no need to hold onto the negative. Thank you.
November 19, 2011 at 10:11 am
Miss Demure Restraint
Your appreciaton is most appreciated. It took me forever to start, yes start, figuring things around here out. I’m still learning. I’m sure I’ll continue to make mistakes, but its the trying that counts. You are so right about not holding on to the negative.
Thank you for reading and commenting on my blog.
November 18, 2011 at 11:30 am
mdprincing
I like your reasoning behind your blog, I agree those of us who write are a bit wacky, my levels vary.
good thoughts, thanks
November 19, 2011 at 4:25 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
Thank you for commenting, but you didn’t leave a link back to your blog. Do you have a blog? If you do, come leave the link and I pop in.
November 18, 2011 at 11:57 am
Southern Sea Muse
Yes, please do a piece on the “like” thing. New to blogging in July, I found it a wonderful way to quietly express support as I learned my way around the blogosphere.
A few months later, “like” began to feel more like “lurk.” I continue to limit replies because I am decidedly an introvert and have a phobia about saying the wrong thing. I was officially diagnosed with “foot-in-mouth syndrome” at age 5 when my big brothers paid me a shiny quarter to go up to my mother while she was on the phone and call her a curse-name. Traumatized ever since after the taste of the bar of soap faded, hanging out my own blog-shingle was a huge step to recovery. Many comments I make are simply deleted at the last second out of second-guessing myself. I suppose I will let this one fly.
Who’s Harry Winston? And congrats on being Freshly Pressed!
And can somebody give me a tutorial on how to create a simple link in blog text? Hours poring over support threads led me nowhere…I would love to link others in my blog, but am tech-ignorant, evidently. I probably just violated another blog rule by making my comment the size of a small blog post…sorry!
November 19, 2011 at 4:44 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
Now see . . . Letting fly can be fun. Your comment was exactly the right length for you and no rules broken. I wish I could help you with the “like” thing, but I’m right there with you. I like the “lurk” though. I’ve feel the same way. I’d be happy to help you with the link. Just contact me via e-mail next week and we can do that.
Harry Winston was a jeweler. The quote is from the song “Diamonds are a Girl’s Best Friend.” Just a bit of silliness on my part.
So, thanks for coming by and being brave. Now, we have meet and I’m glad.
November 18, 2011 at 12:16 pm
Purple Mouse
Excellent guidelines.
I was on another blogging platform and quit blogging for almost a year because of a rude offensive commentor that I felt harrassed by. I actually became afraid of “the world wide web.” I never responded, and instead abandoned my blog.
Now I have come to wordpress to start over and I feel there are far more professional people here. I do say thank you to my followers and follow them back.
You are absolutely right “Pay it Forward.” nice post. I look forward to reading more in the future.
November 19, 2011 at 6:11 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
Pay it forward . . . do unto otheres . . . ripe what you sow. All as applicable to the blog world as the real world.
Thanks for commenting and reading my blog. Sincerely, you watermelon-shaped friend.
November 18, 2011 at 12:16 pm
davidrory
Dear Miss Demure Restraint, What a truly wonderful name! It’s what brought me here. That and this blog. I am newish at this and only joined the bloggers because my editor insisted I needed to. ( Yes I too am a struggling writer, struggling to get my published novels moving.) I’ve only been blogging intensely for a few weeks. So far I’ve not seen the kind of unseemly squabble you mention but I guess that’s because I’ve had little traffic so far. Your comments seem entirely reasonable and are, what might be called common sense, and are all the better for that. I have not yet evolved the Rhino skin I believe the social media thing needs. (I tried Twitter briefly but retired bewildered, confused and bemused! How one can say anything worth hearing in 140 characters is a mystery. Some manage to inflict pain in that few words though.)
It is reassuring and comforting to find I am not alone in my social-media anxiety and that alone makes the effort of being here worth while. I shall be following your blog with interest and hope it remains a conflict free zone for your sake.
I notice you have a big following and much response. May I be so bold as to ask has that helped you as a writer? Or is the writing you speak of, blog writing? This must be demanding of your time.
Regards davidrory.
November 19, 2011 at 6:36 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
Yeah, I have a friend to thank for the name. I’ve become rather fond of it. Wow, you checked out my profile, thanks. I don’t Facebook and tweeting would be impossible for me. Even my text messages take two or three “sends.” I know . . . 140 characters . . . not happening.
I write poetry (badly), prose, flash fiction, essays, commentary . . . you know the short (under 2000 words) stuff. My pipe-dream writing job . . . online feed or e-mag or anything that would pay the bills. *smile* I’ve always said I don’t have a novel in me. NaNoWriMo terrifies me. Somewhere in the 3000 word range, my brain starts to melt. Do blogs sell books? Isn’t that the real question here? I don’t know. I’ve bought a couple of bloggers books, but they were people I considered “blog” friends.
You say your editor told you to start a blog. I can see the advantages. SHAMELESS SELF PROMOTION WARNING! Let your editor know I’m available to help any struggling authors develop at blog. *wink, wink* Don’t worry, you’ll catch on.
Thanks for stopping by and spending some time here. I do appreciate it.
November 18, 2011 at 1:07 pm
Cass
Good tips!
Thanks from Braza!
November 19, 2011 at 6:53 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
I feel so inadequate only speaking one language. Interesting blog you’ve got there.
Thanks for stopping and taking the time to comment Braza. I’m sorry my language limitation prevent me for reciprocating.
November 18, 2011 at 1:33 pm
emily in neverland
Hey thanks so much for writing this!! I’m a brand new blogger, as in, this is pretty much the first post I’ve read (and absolutely loved it by the way!). Thanks for helping me get all the ins and outs of blogging straightened out!!
November 19, 2011 at 7:00 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
I’m honored. I don’t think I’ve ever been the first blog someone has read. Thank you for choosing MDR. As for the ins and outs . . . tip of the iceberg.
You’ll be okay. Your blog is clever and funny. I like that.
Thanks for stopping in and watch out for the hungry hippos.
November 18, 2011 at 1:55 pm
Huffygirl
Very true and pertinent tips. When I come across a blog, even a good one, where I see the author never or seldom answers comments, I tend to not come back. The very nature of the blog is a forum of give and take. Bloggers who don’t respond to comments are not really interested in being bloggers, but rather are more interested in having a forum to advance their opinions. They might be happier writing an opinion column in a newspaper instead. If they can find one that’s not going out of business. 😉
November 19, 2011 at 7:07 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
I really, really wanted to comment on your “In Search of the Castaways” post, but the site insisted I join something. I’m sorry just not a joiner. I loved the post though and feel exactly the same as you do.
I’ll take that opinion column job. I’m good with temp work. 🙂
Thanks for spending the time to read and comment.
November 18, 2011 at 1:56 pm
MutantSupermodel
Congratulations on Freshly Pressedness!
Like at least one other commentor mentioned, I too don’t seem to attract many nasties. I don’t moderate comments and have never had to. But I have noticed some blogs attract it more than others and I understand enabling the moderation function in that case. It’s sensible because it’s your little world and you get to run it the way you like it.
Obviously you’re doing something more than right to attract such an audience!
I am really awful about replying to comments any way other than on my blog. I would love the email approach but can’t figure out an easy way to do so. Replying on another’s blog might be a good habit for me to get into. Some have done it to me and it’s always nice.
Thanks for giving my brain something to snack on this morning! Have a lovely weekend.
November 19, 2011 at 7:18 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
I don’t know that I so much do anything right as that I’ve been blessed with a great community of blog friends.
Happy to provide the brain snack and thank you for stop by my little world.
November 18, 2011 at 2:47 pm
mammyoaklee
Well said Miss Demure! It is a deterant (for some) to come back to someone’s blog if there’s too much drama in the end. I find it usually tends to run amuck and distract from the original intent of the post too.
We have the power to keep our intentions in line, and keep our readers happy to come back.
I look forward to checking out more of your posts.
November 19, 2011 at 8:09 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
Thank you so much Mammy Oaklee. I just got back from The Heart of BottomsUp 2/3 Acre and have to say I had a great time. Nice place ya got there.
Hope to be seeing you around.
November 18, 2011 at 3:08 pm
elvishjesusfreak
I definitely agree with your post and congrats on being Freshly Pressed! I don’t get a whole lot of comments but I definitely read and respond to all the ones I do get! I also agree with keeping your comments on moderation! I have gotten a few super sketchy comments that I’m glad didn’t show up on my blog! Thanks for the great tips!
November 19, 2011 at 8:25 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
Thank you for sharing your story. “See people, I do know what I’m talking about . . . well, sorta . . . maybe a little.”
I really appreciate your coming by and commenting. So sorry it took so long to get to your comment.
November 18, 2011 at 3:22 pm
charlywalker
Hmmm…good or bad comment means someone actually took the time to read a post……Minus any comments you are reliant upon the number of “like” buttons clicked or your dashboard stats to figure out if your post was blog-worthy.
Cat fights?…..Bring the heat…I’d take that any day apposed to a Blog-stalker…..
spread the humor..
November 19, 2011 at 8:57 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
Thanks for taking the time to comment Charly. I loved your Bill Gates dream post.
November 18, 2011 at 3:28 pm
rangewriter
This is a great post, an important topic. I stumbled into blogging without knowing what I was getting into. It didn’t take long to figure out that the deal is the comments…the dialogue. I’ve been lucky so far. My commenters have been an incredibly tolerant and generous group. But I’m small. I can only imagine what happens when you get pressed! Hang in there. An I don’t expect you to respond to this…cuz you’ve just got too much to do! At some point, we have to get back to writing!
November 19, 2011 at 9:12 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
I would never dream of not responding to your comment. I just know I know your icon from somewhere. Regardless, I’ll been using it as a milestone in replying to all these comments and I feel like you are now an old friend. Although, I’m not done, I’m happy I finally reached your comment.
You are so right. Its all about community. Thank you for your comment and reading this post. I’ll miss your facing smiling at me.
November 18, 2011 at 3:29 pm
veggieberger1
Thanks for the blogging tips. I’ve only been plugging away at it for a few months and I now realize how easy it is to read someone’s blog, have a good laugh or enjoy the take-away, then not bother to show your appreciation with a simple comment. Lesson learned now that I am a blogger myself. Getting commented on is gratifying!
Thank you!!
November 19, 2011 at 9:33 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
It sure is, very gratifying. Thank you for taking the time not only to read by blog but to leave a comment as well. Take care of those two adorable little ones. They grow up so fast.
November 18, 2011 at 3:31 pm
goingtomx
When you said “but then what sane person gets on the internet and blindly writes to an audience that may or may not be there? Only a whack job exposes himself to the potential rejection trauma such activities may and sometimes do result in”
It completely reminded me of myself.
However, this is a really good post! It’s quite interesting how fired up people can get on blogs and comments.
November 19, 2011 at 10:03 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
Bloggers can be like momma bears with their young. I love it. They are passionate.
Thank you for the comment and have fun in Mexico.
November 18, 2011 at 3:40 pm
Karl Drobnic
Good points. Do you have some criteria that you use in dealing with vulgar language when you moderate a comment? For example, do you edit out the vulgarities and post it in edited form, or just trash the whole thing?
November 19, 2011 at 10:17 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
Gosh darn. I’ve never had a problem. I’ve been known to drop the f-bomb and use “margin” language, so I don’t really have a problem with it if it’s in context. Now comments that are just foul, regardless of language, I trash.
Thanks for stopping in and commenting Karl.
November 18, 2011 at 3:42 pm
aclundin
I’m still trying to figure out how to get people to comment on my blog. The few comments I do get is easy peacy to answer to.
This was a good post, we should all support each other 🙂
November 19, 2011 at 10:33 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
Supporting each other is what makes the blog community.
Thanks for visiting and commenting.
November 18, 2011 at 3:42 pm
MegansBeadedDesigns
Great tips! I always try to take the time to respond to my commentators, and to click on their linked names to their blog or websites! It’s only the polite thing to do! Also, anyone who follows me, I’ll see if they have an awesome blog that I may want to follow as well. Usually, it turns out, we have similar taste and I am happy to follow them! 🙂
November 19, 2011 at 10:44 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
You are so right about the “following.” I’m going to have to figure out how to handle it better. I have just gotten a lot of new followers and am not sure what I’m going to do.
Thank you for bringing the subject up and thanks for the Etsy feature.
November 18, 2011 at 3:54 pm
Introducing: Dung Chim « The Waiting
[…] always makes me laugh and think (a nice little pair!) If you haven’t already, check out her post that got her some attention. Congrats, Miss D! Share […]
November 18, 2011 at 4:02 pm
Steph
Being a newbie blogger, I REALLY appreciated your tips! My readers are basically family and friends so don’t really have to worry about nasty comments, but if someone gets pissy on me, I now know what to do. Thanks and keep the tips coming! And congrats on the Freshly Pressed honor…that’s how I found you!
November 19, 2011 at 10:58 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
Well, however you got here . . . Welcome and Happy Birthday!
I’m glad you stopped by and commented. Thank you.
November 18, 2011 at 4:18 pm
Just a Few Observations on Playing Nice in the Blogosphere « Miss Demure Restraint | A not so different view
[…] Just a Few Observations on Playing Nice in the Blogosphere « Miss Demure Restraint Posted on November 18, 2011 Just a Few Observations on Playing Nice in the Blogosphere « Miss Demure Restraint. […]
November 18, 2011 at 4:26 pm
lifeintheboomerlane
Great post, although I’ve never had a problem like this because most of my followers are very well-mannered and probably don’t have a clue about what I’m talking about anyway, since I mostly don’t either. Also, I am not a superstar blogger. Sigh. But you are, with good reason. So I’m going to subscribe, if you will agree to take a short, post-menopausal woman who should have been a stand up comic except for the inordinate stage fright and the lack of anything to wear.
November 19, 2011 at 11:18 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
You are being too modest. I’ve been to your blog before today. I recognized it immediately. You have a wonderful and substantial following. No superstars here. Just came up with the winning scratcher. All pre, currently and post=menopausal women are welcome. I love the guys too.
Thanks for stopping in and way-big thanks for following.
November 18, 2011 at 4:30 pm
Tony
Hello..Interesting post. I do not know why but there is something felt..innuendo can be seen when there is none. I have made some doozer ‘faux pax cyber’..expressing exactly what I did not want to..anyhoo..nice post..enjoyable read..Peace Tony
November 19, 2011 at 11:30 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
I like that “faux pax cyber.” Very clever.
Thank you for taking to to read and comment.
November 18, 2011 at 4:33 pm
deborahbidwell
I like the idea of being nice to those that read your posts, congrats on being freshly pressed, and even though I am relatively new to the blogging, I am attempting to get to the point of posting at least weekly, if not more often.
November 19, 2011 at 11:41 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
Thank you so much for dropping in and leaving a comment.
Good luck with the blogging and enjoy your Christmas tree.
November 18, 2011 at 5:28 pm
Natasha Devalia
It’s crazy cool that you actually reply to everyone who is commenting on your blog even after being freshly pressed; and when things get wild due to it!
I go back to blogs to see if I got a response to what I said. It certainly makes things more dynamic when there is some back and forth.
I turned off the comment moderation button because WordPress is blocked here in China. I am waiting for the day I can’t access it at all via proxy server.
Great Post! Congratulations of being Freshly Pressed!
November 19, 2011 at 11:55 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
Thanks for the compliment and the congrats. I am sorry, you have had to wait so long for my reply. I’m getting close, under 40 left.
I didn’t know WordPress was blocked in China. That is indeed sad. I assume the children in the banner on your blog are yours. They are adorable. If not, they sound adorable from your descriptions.
November 18, 2011 at 5:32 pm
Studio Nelson
Your blog was VERY insightful and I don’t find many blogs that will captivate me enough to read through till the end..I look forward to your light hearted-real-life banter in many more future blogs because there’s a vibrancy in them that inspires me!!! 🙂
November 20, 2011 at 12:02 am
Miss Demure Restraint
I thrilled you like it. I did visit your websitem but as it is a business site I refrained for commenting. It didn’t seem appropriate. It is a wonderful site. It made me want to join in the contests, but alas my graphics are sub par.
Thank you for stopping by and leaving your comment.
November 18, 2011 at 5:43 pm
another cog in the blog
coming from the viewpoint of a newbie to the world of blogging (so new in fact that i still need the mucous sucked out of my airway with one of those little blue bulb syringes), this post is extremely helpful. i will definitely heed your wise words. for you to have stopped blogging for two years, i gotta think the interaction between commenters and yourself must have been traumatic.
i’d love to have you visit my blog sometime to give me some pointers, but i haven’t summoned the courage to go public yet…i’m still feeling my way around this place. it’s encouraging for me to know there are people like you here who get the importance of internet courtesy, and that these aren’t merely words on a screen…there are actually real live people attached.
now i’ve got to go figure out how to follow your posts…wish me luck!
November 20, 2011 at 12:05 am
Miss Demure Restraint
My e-mail is on my about page. Please let me know when you go live! Or just drop me a note sometime if you like.
Thank you for the kind words and I hope you will have as good a blog experience as I have been having since my return.
November 18, 2011 at 6:08 pm
Ariel
Fabulous post!
November 20, 2011 at 12:32 am
Miss Demure Restraint
Thank you so very much.
November 18, 2011 at 6:38 pm
sleepinghorse
I found you on Freshly Pressed and had to read your article. The title and picture captured my attention. Always good to get tips on playing nice.
I love that you say to reply to comments. I have always done that and I can’t understand why others don’t and then I think maybe I’m wrong in doing so.
The only excuse I can think where it might be ok not to do a reply comment is if you are one of those amazing blogs who get lots and lots of comments and maybe it would take too much time to reply But then I see this post and you have taken the time to reply.
Thank you for this post. Now to have a wee look at your other posts.
November 20, 2011 at 12:46 am
Miss Demure Restraint
Bev, I’m so happy you came. I think even a blogger that gets a lot of comments, should find a way to reply. Okay, maybe they wouldn’t be able to visit their commenters’ blogs (that is what is taking me so long), but it only take a second to type, Thank you.
Thanks for the comment and the looking around. I can see you have comments on some of the other post.
By the way, yours has been one of the milestone icons for me. You don’t know how many times I’ve thought, “If I can only get to the sleepinghorse comments, I’ll make it.” And here I am and I do believe I will get done before bedtime tonight.
November 18, 2011 at 6:59 pm
arwenevenstar
I remember when one of my posts got Freshly Pressed and a large number of unknown people were expressing their appreciation of my post. I was so overwhelmed and so replied to each one of them only to realize later that it was a ploy for many to make others go to their blog. Sometimes, the blog world is cruel.
November 20, 2011 at 1:11 am
Miss Demure Restraint
I’m of two minds on that. First, everyone is promoting their blog and if the comment is sincere, I don’t mind. Second, if all they are doing is marketing, shame on them. I like to think most people here had sincere comments. I realize there were a few that didn’t.
I’m trying to believe Bloggyland residents are just a little more noble.
Thanks for your input though and I’m glad you stopped by.
November 18, 2011 at 8:02 pm
graysonjack
Thank you for the free advertisement!! You sent a bunch of people my way! And congratulations on all the business yourself! Great post. I’m sorry I don’t follow the rules very often. It’s so hard sometimes when I’m at work, then come home and play with the kids…wait; no excuses! I’m very sorry. I do love your blog though so I shall try to show you some more love than I usually do.
November 18, 2011 at 8:11 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
I’d curious how much traffic my blog buddies got. I’m hoping it was a lot. Its over and I still have 120+ comments to reply to but I think I might make it. LOL. So, how’d ya like the play Mrs. Lincoln?
Later Grayson and you do just find as a blog mate . . . Like I commented somewhere . . . Life first . . . Blog second.
November 18, 2011 at 8:55 pm
gertieapigo
I think you didn’t like my comments. Thanks for the post anyway! Cheers 😀
November 18, 2011 at 9:17 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
No, dear. It is a matter of there being one of me and a whole lot of you guys. I’m working my way through the comments in the order they came in. I’m also visiting everyone’s blog, reading at least one post and leaving them a comment. I know its been a long wait and I’m sorry for that. I will get to you as quickly as possible and look forward to reading your blog as well.
November 18, 2011 at 9:33 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
Just a note to all of you waiting for a response. I am sorry it is taking so long. I will get to every single comment. I am visiting each commenter’s blog as I reply to their comment. Its the only way I can keep things straight right now. Please understand every comment made here is important to me. I have to take a break to get Mum to the doctor and will continue as soon as I get back.
Thank you all for your thoughtful comments and taking the time to read this and other posts at MDR. I can’t express my appreciation enough.
November 18, 2011 at 9:44 pm
Phil's Lounge
Hi Miss D,
I feel for you…I can see you are busy (like me) but for other reasons.
To be Freshly Pressed seems wonderful but I would be like you. I would have to respond to every comment, visit the new commentators Blogs and comment on one of their posts of interest…it would be rude not to…A double edge sword indeed… 🙂
No need to respond judging by my mail inbox (I ticked the notify me of follow-up comments…) you are going to be busy for a while…lol!
November 18, 2011 at 11:34 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
Phil,
Of course, I will reply to you as quickly as I can. You are one of the “faithful.” You were here before and you will be here after. Besides, it was good the have the words of encouragement. I’m doing exactly what you said you would do. It is time consuming, but it is a labor of love.
Well, I’m diving back in. I will get caught up on everybody’s blogs as soon as I finish here . . . someday . . . in some frightfully destine tomorrow. 🙂
Later,
Miss D
November 18, 2011 at 9:58 pm
rasqash
Excellent post, you’ve hit the nail right on the head. I’ve even learnt something…. it just seems that this blogging caper is sometimes hard work when you’re just starting and trying to attract some readers. I’ve had blogs in the past for year and got the minimum commenting so never had to moderate but now it seems that moderation is unavoidable because of the amount of people making a living off spamming blogs with their ridiculous and completely off topic comments.
Anyway, thanks!
November 20, 2011 at 2:18 am
Miss Demure Restraint
You are welcome! I’ve also learned another thing . . . if I hadn’t had the moderate on, I would never have been able to manage the comments from the “Pressed” event.
Thank you for coming by and leaving your comment.
November 19, 2011 at 1:07 am
nevercontrary
Oh My God you are freshly pressed !!!!!!
Congrats congrats congrats !!!!
November 19, 2011 at 2:05 am
Miss Demure Restraint
Crazy times! Things are starting to settle and I may actually get all the comments answered some time tomorrow. I just hope I don’t get too far behind on the blogs I follow.
Thanks for stopping by and I’ll see you later.
November 19, 2011 at 1:45 am
elysiafields
Miss Demure, I was not referring to you at all!!! I was venting about bloggers who specialize on this topic. If you have any knowledge in the area I don’t know about it. If I commented on an Eleusinian Mysteries blog that you wrote, I had not idea that you wrote it. If it was a thoughtful comment, but I didn’t get a response or a view, well then…
And then again, maybe my comment was geared to get you talking about MY BLOG, in which case, I’m a sneaky, underhanded, manipulative bitch, and I’m going to take myself outside right now and smack myself upside the head.
That’s my way of saying sorry, for any ill feeling my comment caused. Thanks for writing, and I’ll offer better comments from now on, on any topic by anybody. 🙂
November 19, 2011 at 2:01 am
Miss Demure Restraint
No, no. It was nothing you said. I have made a personal commitment to, not only reply to each comment, but to visit each commenter’s blog and leave a comment. Some are a lot harder than others. As I said, I have less than no expertise in Eleusinian Mysteries and certainly have never posted on the subject.
I did feel an empathy for your situation. I truly wish I had some sage advice, but you have done everything I would suggest. I also believe every comment is an opportunity to engage the commenter. You didn’t do anything to prompt it . . . it’s simply the way I treat the people that visit my blog. So, no head smacking.
This is a new experience for me and I do seem to be stepping in here and there. The apology is mine.
I do appreciate all the commenters from “Freshly Pressed.”
November 19, 2011 at 2:10 am
elysiafields
Congratulations on making freshly pressed. I won’t make it if I keep only to heavy subject matter. I’ve actually been thinking of ways I could lighten it up and make it more fun.
I really enjoyed your post, as so many others here have so there’s a good reason you made the cut!
Thanks for your responses and happy blogging. 🙂
November 19, 2011 at 9:34 am
Miss Demure Restraint
You are limiting your audience with your subject matter. But what I read did make me curious what it was all about. Maybe a page (not a post, a page) with an explanation for “beginners,” people like me that might really get into it if they understood what you were talking about. Just kicking a few ideas around.
Good luck!
November 19, 2011 at 1:54 am
Bob T Panda
Wow I had to go a long way down the page to comment. Everything you said was brilliant. and I’m not just saying that because you like me. Anyway, when I read read your posts, I think..”Yeah! …What SHE said.” I’m learning how to play nice with others. Mostly.
Thanks for writing here.
November 19, 2011 at 2:27 am
Miss Demure Restraint
Thanks Bob. I miss the Pandas. The comments are keeping me so busy I haven’t been able to do anything else and I mean anything. I can’t wait to be finished and over at your place playing with the Panda Kindergarten!
November 19, 2011 at 4:10 pm
Bob T Panda
We miss you to. You da Bear.
November 19, 2011 at 9:30 am
Aneesa
Wow! Congratulations!!! You got freshly pressed! What an honour!
I totally agree with your post and always reply to all comments. I think as time has gone on we have all discovered our very own blogging community. It’s like one big happy family. 😉
November 19, 2011 at 9:40 am
Miss Demure Restraint
Thank you Aneesa. I wish I had a better computer so I could comment on your blog more often. It just goes ape-shit when I try. I don’t think I have the capacity to process your background. There are a couple of others I have the same issue with. Its very frustrating. But I love your blog and I visit whenever you post something new, except the last two days. I’ll get caught up with your’s and the other blogs I follow as soon as I finish replying to all the comments I have left.
Thanks for dropping by.
November 19, 2011 at 10:21 am
Miss Demure Restraint
Just a note to all of you still waiting for a reply. I think we are in the home stretch, but I have to call it a night its a little after 2AM (almost 10AM WordPress time) and I have to get some sleep. Again, I’m sorry this is taking so long, but I really want to make sure I visit all of you. I’ve already met some amazing people and can’t wait to get to know the rest of you. So, please be patient with me. I’ll try to get to some more of your comments in the morning, but tomorrow is the big Operation Relocation (if you are really interested see the post) and Mum is going home. I will probably not get to all of you before I have to stop to take care of getting Mum back to her own home.
See some of you in a couple of hours and thank you all again.
November 19, 2011 at 11:55 am
Adventures in Blogging « Write Am I
[…] and other wonderful things. I ran across this wonderful post from Miss Demure Restraint about blogging etiquette. It’s full of great […]
November 19, 2011 at 3:27 pm
JSD
This is a fantastic post. I haven’t yet seen any cat fights, and hope I don’t. Thanks for your wisdom, and I’m glad I found you on Freshly Pressed…look forward to reading your posts.
Wow, over 400 comments…that’s got to be some kind of record. 🙂
November 20, 2011 at 3:51 am
Miss Demure Restraint
Not a record by a long shot, but I’m ecstatic. I haven’t stopped smiling for days. Just an FYI . . . Your comment is #493. *double arm pump*
I do so appreciate you and all the others that came a callin’. I’m sorry for the long wait for a reply and I thank you for your comment.
November 19, 2011 at 5:14 pm
insidethemindofstephydawn
I am new to the blogging thing and enjoyed reading your post about why you are here and how people should be ideally on here for. Whether we are writing for an audience or we just have a lot to say I feel there is always someone willing to listen. Not all feeback should be seen as negative, I think people should be constructive or at least back up their comments with a proper argument.
November 20, 2011 at 4:07 am
Miss Demure Restraint
Of course, all input from readers is important. Still, there are ways of submitting input– critique or praise — that are respectful and considerate. The thing to remember is that when you are visiting another person’s blog, you are, in a very real sense, in thier house. Behavior should reflect that.
Thank you for stopping and commenting.
November 19, 2011 at 6:38 pm
Anna
I love this blogpost. A lot of it seems like common sense – I wouldn’t be abusive in the real world, so neither should I in the virtual etc. You have alerted to me to the fact that not everyone abides by that so I’ve turned on my comment moderation….so far I haven’t needed to turn any down but you never know!
Thanks for a great post!
November 20, 2011 at 4:22 am
Miss Demure Restraint
Thank you for dropping in and reading. If you blog long enough, you see everything. Since I started blogging again I have had nothing but respectful and appropriate commenters, except for the spam commenters that are more an annoyance than anything else. Better safe than sorry.
November 20, 2011 at 2:35 am
Teek
I enjoyed your post. As someone new to the blog world, its nice to get a few pointers. Thanks!!
November 20, 2011 at 4:43 am
Miss Demure Restraint
It make me happy to heard people are enjoying this post and find it useful.
Thank you for the visit and comment.
November 20, 2011 at 4:09 am
prenin
I’ve been reading all your comments and replies hun – and I’m knackered!!! LoL!!!
Hope you get a chance for a nice rest – and I’m glad mummykins is back in her home – time for some nude dancing, yes? 🙂
Love and squishy hugs!
Prenin.
November 20, 2011 at 4:36 am
Miss Demure Restraint
Yes, nude dancing . . . right after the nude sleeping. I’m happy to be in the home stretch, but the lack of sleep is starting to wear on me.
I’m so happy you came by. I do miss my regualar blog friends.
You take care,
Miss D
November 20, 2011 at 4:14 am
squelsch
I am inclined to say “great post.” But it is good to get that out there. I just left a comment on someones blog that may have been a little rude. Criticism isn’t for everyone even if it is polite, but in the other hand, blogging is the wrong choice if you can’t handle the heat!!!!
November 20, 2011 at 4:59 am
Miss Demure Restraint
I don’t think anyone should have issue with comment that is relevant and respectfully presented. Rude is a different animal entirely.
Thanks for you contribution here and stopping by.
November 20, 2011 at 1:18 pm
gaycarboys
Nice words, and very sensible thoughts. I should comment on more of the people who comment on me. Thanks for the tips.
November 20, 2011 at 3:58 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
You are welcome. Just a heads up . . . WordPress spam filters thought you were spam. I have no idea why.
Thanks for coming by and leaving a comment.
November 20, 2011 at 5:48 pm
mab16
I read your post with great interest. I am a nearly virgin blogger, with one post to my credit, and am naturally fascinated to learn “the rules.” I like your breezy, informal, yet authentic voice. Your facility with language is phenomenal. I will be spending the next few days blog-hopping. Thanks for the visit.
November 22, 2011 at 1:32 am
Miss Demure Restraint
Thank you for stopping by and commenting.
Good luck blogging. I hope you will enjoy it as much as I do.
November 21, 2011 at 2:36 am
ldsrr91
Often I will hit the like button and not comment, then sometimes, as is such today, I will say something. Just depends.
We had some of the above problems and it does as you say, it often gets kind of dicey. When it happened, I deleted the post in its entirety and then for days afterwords, I had people screaming and demanding that I put it back up.
Like this was some kind of democracy or something?
The best policy is as you state, moderate it, or as Barney would say on Andy Griffith … Nip it in the bud.
Where there is no wood, there is no fire.
DS
November 21, 2011 at 5:41 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
Very astute observations and comments. I love the Barney quote, use it all the time. Don’t you just hate when you hear people say, “Nip it in the butt”?
Thanks for taking the time to comment on this one.
Miss D
November 22, 2011 at 8:10 pm
Jeannette Monahan
I am so impressed that you answer every single comment, even if there are 521 of them! — now 522. Like others who have commented, I am also new to this, only 2 months, and I need all the help I can get, so thanks for the tips. I checked out the rest of your blog, and love it. Your “junk jiggle” had me rolling.
November 22, 2011 at 9:28 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
Actually the number is much less, because half are my replies to the commenters. It was still a monumental undertaking for a small time blogger like me. Thank you for your kind comment. Hope to see you again soon.
November 22, 2011 at 10:14 pm
robpixaday
Hooray!! Cyber-wisdom!
November 22, 2011 at 11:14 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
In the words of the immortal Elvis . . . thank you, thank you very much.
November 22, 2011 at 11:25 pm
schannepj
I just started blogging, so I found your comments very helpful. And as such, I know not to leave my blog address at the bottom of my post!
Thanks,
James
November 23, 2011 at 12:58 am
Miss Demure Restraint
You don’t need to leave a blog address when you use your WP account. It takes care of that with a link on your name in the comment.. The best way to get people to “hit” you from a comment is to make an outstanding comment.
Thank you for stopping by and good luck with your blog.
November 23, 2011 at 4:09 am
Her
Thanks for the great tips! Being a “newbie” to blogging I really appreciate this kind of information. Great blog! I’ll be sure to keep checking you out.
Have a great day!
November 23, 2011 at 2:58 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
You are welcome in all senses of the word. Come by anytime.
Thank you.
November 23, 2011 at 5:04 am
Elektrische Zahnbuerste
Excellently written article, doubts all bloggers offered the identical content since you, the internet has to be far better place. Please stay the best!
November 24, 2011 at 4:43 am
Miss Demure Restraint
Thank you for stopping by and commenting.
November 23, 2011 at 6:35 am
Naveeka
This is my 2nd time to be in this post. You must have guessed how much I like it. Just making sure didn’t miss anything.
November 23, 2011 at 3:19 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
Well, feel free to look around. I don’t post every day, but I do try to get a couple of posts a week up.
Thank you for visiting . . . again.
November 23, 2011 at 9:00 am
TheChronicR
You, my dear, are very correct. High five ma’am. I’ve put my comment moderation on “on” because I felt like there was a new comment there somewhere but I couldn’t find it in the flow of new comments (I have like 5 everyday. Just kidding, 3 at most). And about returning the favour, I find it indeed necessary and a responsibility of any blogger. If they found time to read your stuff you can sure do the same. Some people don’t understand that though. Ehh, we’ll never have a perfect society, with the human kind.
Great post. I subscribed to your blog so I can come back. And congratulations on getting on Freshly Pressed. You deserve it.
November 23, 2011 at 3:49 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
I will say holding the comments in the queue was much more orderly for me on this post. It really was the only way to keep tract of which blogs I still had to visit.
Thank you for your comment, subscription and time.
November 24, 2011 at 2:19 pm
TheChronicR
You’re very welcome. My time wasn’t wasted here and that I am grateful for.
Also thanks for returning the favour and visiting my site. Much appreciated!
November 25, 2011 at 12:04 am
Miss Demure Restraint
You are very welcome. I hope you will return in the future.
November 23, 2011 at 5:38 pm
ellisinwonderland
Woah, all the comments you have to reply to! Great post. Like. Like a lot.
November 24, 2011 at 12:06 am
Miss Demure Restraint
Pretty much done. It’s not the replies that take so much time as visiting all the commenter’s blog. I did find some outstanding ones though.
Thanks you for coming by and commenting.
November 23, 2011 at 9:46 pm
dramaqueen1913
“…She’s been a bit schizophrenic in the past, but she’s responding well to medication.” I didn’t need to read any further (although I certainly did). Congrats on the Freshly Pressed!!!!
November 24, 2011 at 12:25 am
Miss Demure Restraint
Schizophrenic doesn’t usual get “Pressed”, so I was surprised to say the least. Glad you liked it enough to keep reading.
Thanks for stopping by and thanks for the comment.
November 25, 2011 at 10:03 am
commutinggirl
I just had to laugh out loud when I read this “assclownspammer.com.” So, thank you for the laugh and for the advice 🙂
November 27, 2011 at 3:52 am
Miss Demure Restraint
Thank you for visiting and I’m glad to have made you laugh.
Hope to see you around again sometime.
November 25, 2011 at 3:20 pm
rlingama
Well said and nicely delivered. I’m new to blogging, surely I will adopt these code of ethics in my blogging. Excellent guidelines. We cannot stop them from being unethical but it would be a great idea to stop interacting with them (As you said, moderate the comments – This should be mandatory in all blogging sites). I know it could be considered as indifference but in the online world, it could be the best tools we have to fight against unethical blogging. Also, posts warning other people of these unethical bloggers would be great. I’m sure who ever read this blog, 100% they leave a comment. Keep blogging. Waiting for your next blog. — RAJ
November 27, 2011 at 3:55 am
Miss Demure Restraint
Thank you for your thoughtful comment, Raj. I appreciate your visiting and wish you luck with your new blog.
November 26, 2011 at 5:33 am
yhosby
Great tips. I have a question though. What do you mean by linking to other people’s blog? Sorry if it’s a dumb question. I started my blog about a week and a half ago, so I have a lot of stuff to learn LOL.
November 27, 2011 at 4:33 am
Miss Demure Restraint
No dumb questions. Most of my recent posts have links to other blogs. This post links to five other blogs . . . Androgoth, Angry Rant, Backing in the Dark, The Waiting and Always Curtsy When You Sneeze. You will notice that those words in the post at underlined and a different color. If you click on any of them, you will be transported to those blogs. In my post on Anne McCaffrey, I linked to Widipedia for each of the books I found in the bag. You can link to any place on the Internet using the HyperLink button in Add or Edit Post. It looks like a chain.
Good luck with your new blog.
November 30, 2011 at 8:18 pm
yhosby
Thanks for answering. I thought that was it, but I assumed people had to ask permission first. Feel free to link to me anytime if you find anything on my blog interesting.
Keep smiling,
Yawatta
December 5, 2011 at 9:12 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
I will do that. Linking is one those things I hope to do more of in the future.
Thanks for stopping back by, Yawatta.
November 26, 2011 at 7:24 am
akcielo
I enjoyed the post and learned a few things too. Thanks for the good insight!
huayni
November 27, 2011 at 4:39 am
Miss Demure Restraint
You are very welcome. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment on the post.
November 27, 2011 at 10:11 am
disseminatedthought
The commenting on your commenter’s comments (try saying that five times quickly) thing is a big one for me. If someone’s taken the time to read what I’ve written on my blog, and then feels compelled to comment, the least I can do is thank them with a reply.
In regard to the moderation issue, I think it has to be done. I welcome differing opinions and debate, but I refuse to approve something that adds no value to the post. The first comment I ever received on TDoT was a thinly veiled rant about the individual’s religious views and how society was doomed. Basically, he was using my post as a platform for his personal agenda, which I guess falls under No. 4 on your list. I didn’t approve the comment, but I did publish one that acknowledged it and explained why I had opted not to have it appearing on my blog.
Congratulations on a thoroughly enjoyable read – I look forward to working my way through your other posts.
November 29, 2011 at 9:12 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
Sounds like you have a good handle on the whole thing. I hate to say it, but I’m still struggling with parts of it.
Thanks for taking the time to read and comment on MDR.
November 27, 2011 at 7:14 pm
Bob Row
Sometimes I agree with a post I stumble upon by chance (“freshly pressed” in this case) but I don’t leave a comment with just a formal “I like” message from restraint to be judged as an “assclownspammer”.
Since I’m blogging on “sound” political matters, to comment in blogs of “personal” or “general” content may look as a frivolity.
On the other hand, you made me ask myself if I’m acting as one of those “stalkers” who pass my blog and go without a trace.
So, I’m here to say I liked your common sense advices and your demure use of English. Many times I’m not sure I got a full understanding (I’m not a native English speaking) because a heavy use of colloquial phrasing.
Thanks and good luck.
November 29, 2011 at 9:39 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
Sorry you found my writing sytle unclear. I tend to write the way I speak. You did seem to understand the basics.
Thank you for stopping by.
December 1, 2011 at 5:44 am
Bob Row
On the contrary! I found your writing very amicable and free of the slang I use to find in other blogs.
I’d like to thank you for taking your busy time and pay a visit to my blog.
Here is an excerpt of my answer regarding the problems you found there:
“I’m afraid I can’t understand the problem as the links are stored automatically by WordPress. Perhaps you tried to open some of the early works when I used other WordPress Theme and reduced pictures (so they open just at the same size).
Sometimes I can’t see some of the pictures in certain blogs when in Firefox. In that case I use to change to Safari.”
December 3, 2011 at 5:16 am
Miss Demure Restraint
I’m having some problems getting to your site at all now. I’ll try again later.
November 28, 2011 at 10:56 am
arvinbadiola
good thing i read this one. i just started my blog here at wordpress and almost forgot about comment moderation.
November 29, 2011 at 10:04 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
Glad to be of service. Thanks for coming by.
November 29, 2011 at 5:38 pm
T Scott
this is nice I just started doing this!! Thanks for the tips
November 29, 2011 at 10:21 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
It took me a while to make it a habit and this post has presented a challenge.
Thank you for stopping by and leaving a comment.
November 30, 2011 at 12:28 am
Liebster Blog Award | Anne Schilde
[…] words about her blog. MDR is my most recent nominee for the One Lovely Blog Award. She was recently featured on Freshly Pressed, an event that marked the first time they pressed anything I had already read. If you’ll take […]
November 30, 2011 at 12:32 am
mjray926
Great post – those are all great things to put into practice! (I did read over the post before commenting by the way…hahaha) as a new blogger, this has been very helpful! I haven’t been around long enough in the blogging world to really gain any major pet peeves, but one day I just might 😉
December 5, 2011 at 7:55 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
I’m sorry to see your blog has been deleted. I hope you will try again.
Thank you for spending your time here.
November 30, 2011 at 2:21 am
Kaitlin
Whew, and here you are with 250 comments minimum and I’ve seen you respond to most of them! Wow! We haven’t gotten any trolls yet, but I fear the day. I will have to turn to Michael and tell him to smack me if I show inclination to feed them. Trolls are evil, but they eat everything! And they can be so cute when they first comment, but then like the gremlins the grow and get bigger and bigger and suddenly – huge problem!
Yeah.
December 5, 2011 at 8:50 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
I like the analogy between the gremlins and trolls. Internet trolls do grow rather quickly when feed.
Thank you for taking time to visit and comment. I’m sorry to have taken so long relying. I have a lot on my plate at the moment.
November 30, 2011 at 12:10 pm
grammyjinlx
Thanks for this post. It was your opening paragraph that grabbed my attention – indeed how sane are we publicly private writers? On the other hand, the whole of society runs on collective self-deception and multi-personality coping strategies, don’t you think?
It seems to me, novice that I am, that bloggers are forming/have formed a new strata of society, a new culture of sorts, whether a figment of our collective insanity/imagination or not and are groping towards acceptable codes of conduct.. I suspect that there are/will be many overlapping ‘homelands’ with each blogger confoming to the mores of the territory that they most resonate with. There is, however, a very strong sense of community (mentioned or alluded to also by Androgoth, Waysaide artist and probably others) in this blogosphere which is engendered by such contributions as the experience-based insights and advice such as given here.
Anyway, before I drift off into hours of exploration of yet another new area of thought that I find myself exploring because of this new addiction, what I really wanted to do was to congratulate you on your genuinely humourous style and to thank you for is the good advice on blogging.
December 5, 2011 at 8:57 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
Thank you for such a thoughtful comment. Yes, there is indeed a myriad of community here in the blogiverse. I have been blessed with having been able to visit so many blogs lately and to have so many come to see mine. Each is appreciated and welcome.
Again, thank you for your kind words.
November 30, 2011 at 5:45 pm
t
To be honest, while i was going to leave a comment, i’m now afraid that i will somehow muss the whole thing up!
i would like to thank you for your advice however, and i’m simply thrilled that i now know there is at least one other person besides me who makes use of the phrase “jackassery”.
December 5, 2011 at 9:08 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
Not possible to “muss” it up. I love all the comments. I apologize for not responding sooner. I’m glad you decided to leave a comment and “jackassery” is a great descriptive of the behavior of some thoughtless people. I probably over use it. I gotta work on my bad attitude. 🙂
Thanks for stopping by.
December 5, 2011 at 9:26 pm
t
Please, no need to apologize – life happens!
And i suppose we view jackassery from across different ends of the table, in that i typically only use it when describing myself =)
December 6, 2011 at 11:17 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
Yours is the better way. I’m gonna have to work on that.
Thanks again.
December 1, 2011 at 12:03 am
Janae's Fallgirl Shepherd
Hi Dee, Looks like freshly pressed has kept you pretty busy lately, thanks for visiting my bolg btw it is very nice of you, many do not bother following up on comments (guilty!) I also wanted to thank you for the article, in a way this is all relatetively a new form of communication still to many yet it is good to know there are kind considerate folks out here – as I try to get this right myself – biggest thing right off the top is leaving too long of comment. Best to you always ❤
December 5, 2011 at 9:32 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
I love all the comments, short and long. It’s just plain, ole great to have all the people visiting lately.
December 3, 2011 at 11:52 pm
mikejr9165
Hi Miss Demure,
Just wanted to quickly say I’m just starting out on a personal blogging endeavour and the tips you suggest here are genuinely helpful. I like your colloquial style. I’m considering some kind of career in writing and this is just an experiment… It’s early days but at the moment I want to see if my stuff (mainly blabbering on about completely random, pointless things) is quality enough to keep people reading – and keep me writing!
Won’t say too much more because you’re obviously a very popular blogger, but as an expert just wondered if you could have a quick 2 second peek at my blog and see if you reckon someone might enjoy it, and at the least makes coherent sense!
Otherwise, excuse this essay of a comment, and I hope my writing is one day as popular as yours!
Michael.
December 6, 2011 at 7:06 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
I’m no expert . . . not by a long shot! Like I wrote to a friend . . . being “Pressed” is an opportunity, not an endorsement of expertise or acknowledgement of fabulous writing. Luck of the draw. I did check out your blog (I check out the blogs of all those that comment here). The post I read was thoughtful and well-written (as I said there). The best advice I can give you is to keep writing, experiment with style and voice, try new things, but keep writing. You should know, however, successful writing and successful blogging are two terribly different things. Sure, it helps if a blog is well written, but there’s more to it than that. You could be the greatest writer on the planet and have a blog that gets very little attention. Blogging is more about community. Find yours.
Okay, somebody shoot me now . . . I’m giving out advice and that’s not my purpose for being here. I hope it helped, but seriously . . . there is no wrong way to blog. Find what works for you and do it because you love it.
Thanks for stopping by and good luck with your blog.
December 6, 2011 at 7:15 pm
mikejr9165
Thanks very much for that helpful advice! It’s definitely given me something to think about. I just wanted to know first off that my writing wasn’t just personal-ranting disorganised drivel, otherwise what’s the point… I will continue the experimenting! And as for the community I have to find another lot of Clarkson-admirers at least 😉
Just about to check out your comment on that one but thanks very much for the time.
All the best.
December 6, 2011 at 9:42 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
You are definitely not writing disorganized drivel. You have a style and voice that connect and that’s saying a lot.
Again, much luck and hope to see you around.
December 4, 2011 at 2:26 am
Mary A Writes
I haven’t been blogging too long and found your post extremely helpful. Look forward to reading the rest of your work.
December 6, 2011 at 7:23 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
Thank you for stopping by, Mary. Glad to have you here.
Loved the advice you gave in your post on taxes and being a writer. Too bad, I don’t think the IRS would qualify me. LOL
December 4, 2011 at 8:52 pm
Joe Labriola
Great advice! Taking it to heart!
December 6, 2011 at 10:48 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
Thank you. I’ll take that as a compliment.
December 5, 2011 at 7:56 pm
Sonia G Medeiros
Lovely points. So far, I haven’t had any fires break out on my blog but I’m still pretty new (less than a year). I keep comment moderation on and I do try to reply to comments and visit the bloggers that visit me. Sometimes it all gets away from me but I expect that happens to everybody. Hopefully no one is holding it against me. LOL.
December 7, 2011 at 1:29 am
Miss Demure Restraint
It definitely has been getting away from me lately, but that’s a good thing. It means I’m involved in the blogs of others and they in mine. That’s what it’s really all about. I too hope none will holding it against me and they will understand when it takes me a while to get to their blogs.
Thanks for coming by and commenting.
December 6, 2011 at 12:09 am
lolabees
Great post! Check mine out… just kidding!
This was very helpful to me as I have just had a pretty controversial post get a lot of mean comments, as well as great ones. I actually felt sick after it. I erased a bunch and blocked even more, but felt like I wanted to leave many of them up because it really brought out the controversial nature of my topic. And of course there is that whole I-want-everyone-to-be-heard thing. Not anymore! I just posted a follow up post saying, “no more.” I’m sure that will bring me back to the fun positive vibe that makes my blog feel like I’m home!
December 7, 2011 at 3:01 am
Miss Demure Restraint
So how could I NOT go look! LOL. I would have visited anyway, but with bait like that . . . just call me fish.
I’m so happy you came to my humble little abode and now I can say . . . I know a blogger that went viral! What a ride that must have been. Just so you know . . . I give award you the Courteous Blogger Award for demonstrating amazing grace under fire. Sorry there isn’t a badge to go with it because I just made it up, but if there ever is one, it should be yours.
I so happy to know this post was helpful in anyway and thanks for letting me know. You put a smile on my face.
December 7, 2011 at 4:14 am
lolabees
Haha! Thanks for the award! I have some tricks for that… 1) never read your comments right before going to bed. 2) the anger and hurt feelings are immediate, but if you just wait a few minutes it will diffuse a bit. The next step is to post the comment. That in itself ensures that the commenter actually does a great job of making him/herself look the fool. Then wait, and someone else will defend you. Then you don’t have to do it, you are the good guy, and by then all the hurt feelings are totally gone! Thanks for visiting me back, MDR! I learned some valuable things from you here 🙂
December 7, 2011 at 8:01 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
Glad to be of any help, but it looks like you have it well in hand.
Nice to meet you, Lolabees.
December 8, 2011 at 3:04 am
writingfeemail
I’m shocked, Miss Restraint, that two commenters would engage in a cyber altercation. Yikes! I’ve only been blogging a year and thankfully haven’t had to send anybody to the corner yet. Let us all hope it will never be necessary and thanks for the rules concerning manners. My worst fear is that something I am totally thinking in my mind as humorous, doesn’t come across that way when put in words. Feel free to put me in time out if I ever misbehave.
December 8, 2011 at 4:18 am
Miss Demure Restraint
Have I got a blog post for you. Check out http://lolabees.me/2011/11/28/10-reasons-your-dentist-probably-hates-you-too/. Beware . . . Girlfriend went viral on this post (over 200,000 hits in 6 days) and has something like 800 comments. Only the mildest of the bickering is still there as she has cleaned it up a lot, but you will quickly get the idea.
I can’t imaginine you ever misbehaving to a degree that would require a time out.
Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment.
December 27, 2011 at 5:36 am
Harshil
Thanks for the tips !
I’m an infant blogger and these tips are like being taught how to walk !!
Thanks again !
Visit my blog if you have the time .. ( #3 was it ? 🙂 )
Cheers,
Happy New year !
http://sultansofstrings.wordpress.com/
February 15, 2013 at 6:12 am
Kylie
I found this post through The Waiting. I’m sure it’s already been said above, but you make great points about showing common courtesy. It’s about community building, right? I think most bloggers do like to engage the way you’ve spelled out. I get flummoxed when I find a blog I enjoy, read it often, comment frequently, and they never comment back or pay mine a visit. Luckily, it’s rare. But when it happens, it makes me less likely to comment or follow. On the flip-side, I get really annoyed with people who comment and follow just to get a follow in return. Usually it’s pretty transparent though, because they’re spammy-generic (‘spamneric’?).