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It would appear you have arrived in my heart, my soul, my mind, my life.  You are everything I ever found desirable in those I’ve known prior, still you are unlike any that has passed through my existence this time.  From the very first moment, it was easy and the fear was not there, not like in the past, not like with other man I have been with.  There is never any awkwardness with you, no shyness, no pretense, no apprehension.

 

I knew you before I met you.  Our spirits wrapped in each other so as to never be separate only separated.  I feel you inside me.  I think I always have.  I’ve been searching for you, sometimes discouraged, sometimes disheartened, sometimes desperate.  In spite of everything I believed I would find you . . . somehow . . . someway . . . someday and I did.  Now I have fallen into to your dragon green eyes and I am forever both lost and saved.

 

We flow together without any thought, spontaneous and sensuous.  There is no refusing the attraction to you.  We just happen.  I wonder if we have any control over it.  Destined, passion for us is instinctive, unflagging, unquenchable, and unstoppable.  Our bodies merging is just this reality’s manifestation of our entwined souls, the corporeal metaphor for our spiritual essence.

 

There is a danger though . . . the threat of being consumed by the fire of that very same passion.  When we immerse into each other, there is nothing shines so bright or so hot and, Baby, we burn!  The imperative of our magnetism defies resistance.  If we share a physical space, we will find vent for the inevitable eruption of lust and furor.  Yet despite all warnings, I crave the heat.  I bask in the warmth of your aura.  It nurtures me and sustains me.  In the radiance of our light I feel myself blossoming.

 

I enter into this relationship with full knowledge it may well be transient, but as with others for good or ill, there will be another moment, another reality as there have been countless occasions before between us.  I will embrace you and let you embrace me for however long we have together.  I will not harm this beautiful wonder that is our love with greed or expectation or manipulation.  I will treasure the sensation we share.  Wherever it takes us, I will hold to the perfection of our union for days . . . weeks . . . months . . . years . . . lifetimes.

 

 

My bed is broken, not all the time and its better than it use to be.  I have made a valiant effort to repair it myself, yet it remains precarious.  I did all the things I said I was going to.  I was diligent this time in doing it right and not just making a half-assed attempt to prop it up or patch it.  Perhaps not surprisingly, I found and corrected several things wrong with my bed.  There was no one big problem undermining the stability of my bed, more like a lot of little ones that contributed to each other leading to the unavoidable collapses.   

Others that have had the experience can attest to the perilous nature of sharing my bed.  Breakdowns do not discriminate and will take anyone in my bed down with me.  Its no wonder, nobody stays in my bed for long.  Since the latest efforts to fix my bed, there haven’t been any full-on crashes.  Sure, if the activities in my bed get too foolhardy the predictive precursors to it falling apart are obvious, but so far I have been able to avert another failure.  It would seem I am not quite done with the process of fixing my bed.   

So, to continue using my bed as a metaphor for my life, I would have to say . . .  

My life is broken, not all the time and its better than it use to be.  I have made a valiant effort to repair it myself, yet it remains precarious.  I did all the things I said I was going to.  I was diligent this time in doing it right and not just making a half-assed attempt to prop it up or patch it.  Perhaps not surprisingly, I found and corrected several things wrong with my life.  There was no one big problem undermining the stability of my life, more like a lot of little ones that contributed to each other leading to the unavoidable collapses.   

Others that have had the experience can attest to the perilous nature of sharing my life.  Breakdowns do not discriminate and will take anyone in my life down with me.  Its no wonder, nobody stays in my life for long.  Since the latest efforts to fix my life, there haven’t been any full-on crashes.  Sure, if the activities in my life get too foolhardy the predictive precursors to it falling apart are obvious, but so far I have been able to avert another failure.  It would seem I am not quite done with the process of fixing my life.   

My latest conclusion is that I can’t fix my bed all by myself, though I don’t know where to find the help I need.  For now I’ll just practice restraint in my bed and wait to see if someone shows up to lend a hand.  Guess it isn’t going to be as easy as I thought to fix my bed.  Still, I have hope that one day I will not have to be so cautious about jumping into bed and just maybe I won’t have to be alone in my bed either.  Now wouldn’t that be nice!

Link to My Broken Bed.

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