When Gail was a baby, she took longer than usual to start talking. She didn’t need to talk. She had a big sister to speak for her and make sure she got what she wanted and needed. Perhaps there is a symmetry to life as I find myself speaking here today. Gail was my baby sister.
There was less than three years difference in our ages, so we grew up together. We were constant playmates when we were young. I remember the hours we spent in Barbie fantasy land. We made clothes for the dolls. We were years ahead of Mattel in developing Barbie couture. We fought over the Ken doll that had two arms. The other Ken lost one of his in a tragic backyard accident. We even dyed my blonde Barbie’s hair with a black marker so it would have the same color hair as her doll. After all, sisters are supposed to have the same color hair. We also got in big trouble over it as the process resulted in black marker getting on much more than just the doll’s hair.
I remember the great fun we had teasing and, yes, torturing our little brother. Being the youngest and outnumbered, he never had a chance. Standing outside the screen door with him trapped inside, chanting “Bruce, the Goose” never failed to send us into fits of laughter and him howling to Mom in anguish. We found infinite ways to entertain ourselves and, most definitely, endless reasons to bicker and brawl. Just because she was the quiet one, no one should even be deceived that she did not instigate as often as I. She had great curiosity, creativity and mischief in her soul. I don’t believe I have any early childhood memories that don’t include Gail.
We shared a room with matching bedspreads. We shared toys and books. We even shared the same bad haircut for far too many years. Sorry, Mom. We shared clothes and shoes. We shared our secrets and our dreams. We shared our disappointments and our tragedies. We shared our lives. We shared everything . . . as only sisters can and we fought . . . as only sisters can, but through it all we loved each other . . . as only sisters can. A lifetime is a long time to spend sharing with someone. Right now, I can’t imagine life without her, but I know she will always remain in all things I was lucky enough to share with her and never further away than my heart.
My sister lost her battle with ovarian cancer last Saturday, February 4, 2012. She will be sorely missed.
For any wishing to make a contribution, we believe Gail would have wanted to help others fighting the battle she did and would suggest donations to The Ovarian Cancer Research Fund (OCRF). Your gifts would support OCRF’s mission to fund the best and most promising ovarian cancer research to find better ways to prevent, treat, and cure this disease.
Under the “Donate/Tribute Information” Section please indicate Gail Smith as the Honoree. Please use James Tuba at email j.tuba40@gmail.com for the contact and select e-mail notification.
59 comments
Comments feed for this article
February 9, 2012 at 10:49 pm
timotheous128
*hugs*
February 10, 2012 at 7:08 am
keatslover
I have never had siblings, but what you have written her made me cry.I can only imagine what you must be going through.You and gail will be in my prayers.
February 9, 2012 at 11:03 pm
Life in the Boomer Lane
What a beautiful homage to Gail, and what a profound loss. May you find peace in knowing that you were the best kind of big sister, one who allowed her little sister to be an equal in all ways, including friendship. I will honor her memory with a donation.
February 9, 2012 at 11:18 pm
zendictive
hugs to you.. I know what its like to loose a sister to cancer…It is amazing that we find the need to spend billions of dollars to fly to Mars and yet so many illness’s need exploring here on earth… bows to you (~_~)my thoughts are with you
February 9, 2012 at 11:29 pm
cravesadventure
I am so sorry to hear that she lost her battle; however, she is truly a SURVIVOR. Beautiful post in her honor; sisters can not be replaced and live forever in your heart:) Sending my thoughts to you and your family – be blessed and take care.
February 9, 2012 at 11:29 pm
Sheeple Liberator
I’m so sorry for your loss. We are all thinking of you right now *hugs*
February 9, 2012 at 11:50 pm
societyred
What a beautiful tribute. I’m so sorry for your loss.
February 10, 2012 at 12:13 am
ladywithatruck
I am so sorry! I can’t imagine your heart ache right now. That was a beautiful tribute to your sister and best friend.
Huggzzz
Carrie
February 10, 2012 at 12:19 am
Anna
A wonderful post honoring a lifetime of memories with your sister. So very sorry for your loss.
February 10, 2012 at 12:51 am
MisplacedBoy
I’m so sorry, sweetie. If I wasn’t an entire ass country away I could give you a hug…instead just know that I’m thinking about you, and you know how to get ahold of me if you want to talk.
February 10, 2012 at 1:04 am
Bob T Panda
I’m so sorry Miss D.R….This feels like too little comfort, but there it is. I am thinking of you, and in fact the other day was wondering how you were. Must have felt a movement in the universe. My best, heartfelt wishes for your healing from your loss.
February 10, 2012 at 1:14 am
nevercontrary
I cannot Imagine what a gaping hole that must feel like. Even though i am so glad to see you online again. Over such horrible circumstances is quite awful. Much peace and love.
You remain in my thoughts.
February 10, 2012 at 1:16 am
Tisha Clinkenbeard
May you be wrapped in the arms of comfort. Sisters are blessings.
February 10, 2012 at 1:23 am
The Waiting
What a beautiful tribute to Gail. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
February 10, 2012 at 1:29 am
philosophermouseofthehedge
So sorry. Didn’t have a sister, but sisters always seem incredibly close. Hugs sent
February 10, 2012 at 1:39 am
Ramu Nair
Sorry to hear that… I hope you and family will get in terms with normal life soon…. I can sense the grief in the words… I was not at all able to find the Miss D, I know over other posts, in this one. #livestrong ****HUGS*****
February 10, 2012 at 2:05 am
Elyse
My thoughts are with you. I’ve lost both of my sisters, 12 years ago and 2. I wish you speed on your journey through the hurt and injustice of it all. You will be able to laugh and smile when you think of her. But let yourself rage first. Because it sucks to lose people. And pretending otherwise is not helpful. Hugs.
February 10, 2012 at 2:07 am
patricemj
I’m sorry for your loss.
February 10, 2012 at 2:25 am
barkinginthedark
a beautiful tribute Dee. the love is palpable. continue…
February 10, 2012 at 3:37 am
k8edid
I am so sorry for your loss – I cannot even imagine your sorrow. Cancer is a cruel and devastating nemesis, not only for its victims but their families and loved ones as well. Hugs and strength to you, friend.
February 10, 2012 at 6:32 am
Anne Schilde
Long silent hugs, Dee. ♥
February 10, 2012 at 7:44 am
Sarchasm2
It is always so sad to say goodbye to a loved one. Cherish the memories
February 10, 2012 at 8:28 am
Oracle of the Pearl
My Sister-
My heart is with you.
I know I cannot ease this for you. I can’t even help. But I hurt for you, and would take some of this for you if I could.
You were good to her. I’m proud of who you are. And D, I thank you for being there for me in my own loss.
Always a Sister of the Soul-
Pearl
February 10, 2012 at 10:39 am
prenin
Rest in Peace Gail.
You are loved.
Prenin.
February 10, 2012 at 1:29 pm
John
My deepest condolences. As you can see there’s a lot of positive and loving energy coming your way.
February 10, 2012 at 5:09 pm
dinkerson
My god. I wish you all the best while you adjust to this different world.
February 10, 2012 at 7:22 pm
granbee
Miss Demure, we are so very happy to have you back at this blog and so very mournful and sad to hear of your sister’s passing. I had realized that you were called away with family concerns, but the extent of being with your sister during her losing battle with ovarian cancer. Your photos show how much sisterly love and bonding was present between you two. I am very glad to know of this organization that sponsers ovarian cancer research into finding better treatments and a cure and/or sure-fire prevention! Bless you, dear sister; for you have our ongoing prayers.
February 10, 2012 at 7:42 pm
lifeloveandbaby
What can be said… the love of a sister is all encompassing. I don’t know what I’d do, be without my sisters. My heart goes out to you – I know all too well the enormity of the love sisters share.
February 11, 2012 at 1:12 am
winsomebella
Sisters fill a part of our hearts that remain empty otherwise. So sorry for your deep loss.
February 11, 2012 at 2:18 pm
avomnia
I have a younger brother but never had a sister. My whole life I have wondered what it would be like to have a sister—this post gives me not only a flavor of the answer but does so with animas. Parting is difficult for we who remain, but the best way to honor our lost is not to mourn them, not to be dispaired because they are gone but rather to celebrate them as we knew them, to be joyful for having known them.
You have done so here, and with true love.
February 11, 2012 at 2:19 pm
avomnia
woops .. . “despaired”
February 12, 2012 at 12:18 am
lorrelee1970
What a beautiful tribute to your sister and the great love you had for one another. Hugs and prayers to you and your family.
February 13, 2012 at 1:44 am
Red
You have done a lovely tribute to the wonderful memories you will forever cherish in the hours when you feel she is too far away. She truly is in your heart. It does no good for us to tell you of the losses which make us understand the kind of pain you feel, but know if I could, I would take the pain away from you.
Supportive hugs and prayers for peace for your family,
Red.
February 13, 2012 at 2:17 am
Androgoth
Such a lovely posting about your sister… There are no words that can be written to ease the sadness that you are feeling and so I will return to my Space Miss. D but before I leave I just want you to know that I am thinking of you in this time of sorrow my great friend…
Androgoth XXx
February 13, 2012 at 1:32 pm
El Guapo
That was a beautiful eulogy. Thank you for introducing me to her.
February 13, 2012 at 10:24 pm
Wayside Artist
Miss D,
What a powerful and moving eulogy to your dear little sister. I’m so very sorry! My sister finished a 6 month course of Chemo for Lymphoma just before Christmas. When you wrote earlier about your sister’s struggle with cancer and the effects on her son and family (you), my heart was with you. I grieve with you and send you hugs, for I don’t know what else to do or say.
Yours,
Nanina
February 14, 2012 at 2:52 am
swapna
Sending you hugs, i have two sisters and treasure them. May you be strong to see through the tough times of grief n loss.
February 14, 2012 at 9:12 pm
duncanr
You’ve painted a beautiful picture of your sis – and the love you shared with her comes out strongly in this moving and eloquent tribute
I’m a relative stranger to your blog but not to the heartache of losing a loved one to cancer!
Wishing you strength and courage during this difficult time
(((((((((((( hug ))))))))))))
February 15, 2012 at 12:51 pm
valentinelogar
We can all only offer you our condolence and our hope that you will find some peace in the coming days with our words here. I am grateful you took the time to paint the picture of your sister and your great love for her, it is through these glimpses of true life we are connected. My heart goes out to you, I wish I could take the pain away but instead I can only wish for you healing.
February 15, 2012 at 3:17 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
Thank you for your thoughts and wishes these past months. You can’t know the strength and comfort you have given to me. Bless you all.
February 15, 2012 at 8:42 pm
Jeannette Monahan
I’m so sorry your sister is gone from your life. My husband’s sister lost her battle with cancer when she was 38 years old. It’s such a tragic thing to lose someone you grew up with — I hope your memories will bring you great comfort.
February 20, 2012 at 4:26 pm
Maggi's Blog
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February 21, 2012 at 11:12 pm
Androgoth
Thank you for calling by today Miss. D
it was so very nice to see you inside my
Space 🙂 🙂 I am looking forwards to your
return here my great friend 🙂
Androgoth XXx
February 25, 2012 at 7:10 pm
Antigone's Clamor
Miss D, I am sad for you. Praying that somehow you will feel warm and comforted through all of this. ❤
February 29, 2012 at 1:00 am
writingfeemail
She lives through your beautiful tribute. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Peace.
February 29, 2012 at 5:26 pm
i mayfly
I am so very grateful to see your lovely and loving words again. Yours was one of the first blog I had the pleasure to read and your insights, advice and quick wit spoke volumes to me.
I am very sorry for your loss. I too lost a dear one, my mom, in May of last year. With Mother’s Day approaching I’ve found myself in that bittersweet place again. My heart reaches out to you and I’ll gift you with Beverly Ann’s Blessing: Like cream rising to the top, may the memories that linger be of loving memories, tender embraces and shared laughter.
Wishing you peace, Nikki
February 29, 2012 at 11:06 pm
jennygoth
so sorry to hear you have lost your sister and best friend the heartache your feeling and sadness is unbearable i know your love for her will help your heart heal xxjen
March 4, 2012 at 2:54 am
Androgoth
I am just calling by to wish you well Miss. D
and to let you know that I am looking forward
to your return here 🙂 Be good now Miss. D 😉
Androgoth XXx
March 5, 2012 at 6:31 pm
bronxboy55
I lost my oldest brother just a few months ago. I’m sorry to hear you’ve experienced the painful loss of your sister. I hope you and your family are all doing well.
March 7, 2012 at 10:51 am
edrevets
A beautiful tribute to your sister and sisterhood.
March 9, 2012 at 10:57 pm
mahervolous
Well written, and beautiful. You do your sister proud. Thank you.
March 10, 2012 at 3:20 am
enreal
I’m so sorry. You know where to find me my friend. My prayers are with you
March 31, 2012 at 12:37 pm
Claudia Anderson
I stopped by this morning to see where you have been and came across your sadness. Nothing prepares us for this kind of loss..just know that she’s never really gone..she’s in your heart always. Sending peace and faeries your way.
April 2, 2012 at 8:00 am
icyhighs
I have two sisters I love to bits. Can’t imagine wearing your shoes.
And the hairdo wasn’t too awful either.
🙂
April 15, 2012 at 1:20 pm
girlswithoutshoes
I am so sorry Miss “D”, I never had a sister by blood, but friends, “sisters of the heart” and I cannot imagine loosing one. I am so very sorry for the pain you feel. Sending you all my love and prayers.
April 20, 2012 at 4:56 pm
Kana Tyler
I’m so sorry for your loss.
I was grinning my way through the post, because it SO exactly describes MY sister & me (right down to the matching bad haircuts)… which made those final lines hit me right in the gut. Thank you for the nudge to call my sister… And your family will be in our prayers!
April 29, 2012 at 3:53 am
enreal
Miss you!
May 1, 2012 at 3:36 am
NoJobJulie
Wrap yourself in you warm memories of your sister. and keep putting one foot in front of the other. Looking forward to your return, when you’re ready
May 20, 2012 at 2:15 am
grantahelms
In one word, Beautiful! Sorry for your loss. God Bless You, Grant