That is the question. You see, I don’t have a Facebook page. Nope, not a one . . . no writer’s page, no personal page, no family page, no nothin’. I’ll pause a moment here to let you get over the shock.
*Imagine a field of long grass rustling in the breeze and take a few deep breaths*
Okay, as I was saying . . . I don’t have a Facebook page. There’s no simple reason why I never joined the Facebook revolution. I suppose in the beginning, I didn’t enlist because it seemed like a kid’s pastime and to some extent it was. That is after all how it got started and who’d have imagined a game of computer tag would somehow become the electronic blitzkrieg of the new millennium.
The more time passed, the more excuses I had for not jumping on the band wagon. I had my little blog and it seemed enough of a virtual life for me. I didn’t have the time, didn’t know anyone there, didn’t understand how it worked and for sure, didn’t see the potential. There are people out there that, frankly, I’d rather not know anything about my escapades. You know the types . . . ex-husbands, old rivals, jilted lovers, guys that dumped me, my stalker from the 90’s, even the girl I went to summer camp with in junior high school and most especially my family. Besides, does anybody really want to know that I shaved my legs today or that the dog gacked on the new rug? Oh yeah, my life’s just one big adventure.
Then there’s the “friending” and “unfriending” dilemma. I hate rejection and tend to be uncomfortable rebuffing others. How is that going to work for me? Or worse yet, what if I did have a page and nobody “liked” me? The thought of being discarded by the electronic hordes is crushing. I’ve never been very good at working popularity contests and let’s face it there is that element to the endeavor. I would, at this point, be just another Johnny Come-Lately to a party that has grown so large as to dwarf even the most high profile attendees. Do I really need another ego delimiter in my life, especially right now?
I will confess that last night I stuck a toe into the Facebook ocean. I have gone far enough in the registration process to have received an e-mail from the “Facebook Team” with a link and confirmation code necessary to seal-the-deal. I’m curious, what is the “Facebook Team” and does anybody believe anything but a computer program is responsible for this correspondence? It informs me that I too will be able to “communicate and stay in touch with all of my(sic) friends” as well as “share photos, plan events, and more.” I’d like to sign up for the “more” please, like maybe a little fame and fortune, mostly the fortune. Anyway, I’m one of those people that have to ease themselves into the cold water slowly and clicking on that link feels like plunging in to me.
So I’m right back where I started. Am I missing an opportunity to get more exposure for my writing by not participating? Am I just a big chicken or getting too old to try something new? Or is it just one more thing that takes time away from my already overwhelming life and actually writing? How long is that link and code good for? I guess the only real question still is . . . To Facebook or not to Facebook?
48 comments
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October 17, 2011 at 9:12 pm
writerdood
“To Facebook Or Not To Facebook”
Not. That would be me.
Remember MySpace?
That was also not me.
Also, remember the Challenger disaster, Hurricane Katrina, the earthquake in Japan, and the Indonesian Tsunami? That wasn’t me either.
(I just want to make that clear).
In fact, most of the things on the internet are not me. Some people would argue this point, saying that I produce most of it in my sleep, but they aren’t real people, they’re voices, and you can’t trust what they’re saying. If I had a Facebook page, I’m almost positive that they’d put things on there, and then I’d have to deal with them. Who needs that? Besides, when you’re not somebody, you can be anybody, which can be handy when you’re out in the middle of nowhere.
Now, if I could just convince my dentist to quit sending me emails asking me to “friend” him on facebook. Dood… really?
October 17, 2011 at 10:24 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
You do have to watch out for the voices in your head. The last thing you want them to do is get hold of a Facebook page. LOL
October 17, 2011 at 9:23 pm
timotheous128
Wow, you’ve certainly put quite a lot of though into this. And it is kind of a big deal.
For your instance, though, I’d say don’t bother with it. It is a huge time waster, which takes away from your writing. Furthermore, you would have to jump through hoops to keep personal information private, not to mention the revamp they implement every year that completely changes the way the site operates (I’m still recovering from the shock).
As for it using it as an outlet for your writing, I think you’ve got a great thing going here. You seem to have quite the following, and people (like me) respect your opinion and words.
So! With all that said, I say not to Facebook. 🙂
October 17, 2011 at 10:27 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
Yeah, it has been praying on my mind. You do bring up an excellent point on the revamping. Heck, I’m still fuming over the changes made to how tags work here.
I am rather inclined to agree with you though.
October 17, 2011 at 9:38 pm
cordieb
Personally, I love Facebook. But, it is not for everyone. One never knows if you choose not to accept them as a “friend.” And of course, you will not know if some one has decided not to accept you as a friend. But I really don’t worry about that part. I have been able to network and communicate with so many wonderful people that I would have never “met” had it not been for FB. I love sharing ideas, and concepts with FB people that I really don’t know, but oftimetimes get to know them somewhat, at least see a different perspective on many subjects. I’m a shoe fanatic, so I often visit FB to see what my fellow shoe fanatics are saying, lol. And, as I practice peace, light and love, I am able to share something loving most days on FB with many people; and receive such messages from others, since most of my friends are the spiritual type, although I don’t really “know” them. Their ideas and perspectivies often make my day and helps me to take a step further. …so many positive vibes going on in that manner! I’ve seen life in different perspectives, whereas, I might not have had I not spoke to people who live in different perspectives. Well that’s my perspective on FB. And, if you should decide to join us, do look me up! My link is on my blog!
Peace, Light and Love, C.
October 17, 2011 at 10:35 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
I always respect your opinion C. You make it sound much less scary. If I take the plunge, you’ll be the frist person I lookup.
Thanks.
October 17, 2011 at 11:54 pm
Oracle of the Pearl
::snort::
Personally, Stalkerdude from the 90’s would be MY favorite vote for NOT. We’re just not going to be friends.
Weird Facebook phenomena I’ve seen second hand lately; people breaking up with their sig others via Facebook. Really? Of course, that usually involves “unfriending”. How weird is that??? How sad is that? It all just smacks of the same ilk as the un-reality shows on TV I am so un-fond of.
But then, I am a scrooge, and old school. And I am slow to like what everyone seems to like. I only just recently decided the Bee Gees probably did earn every dime they ever made and I have lost all malice towards them.
Anyway, wonderful writing as always, Miss D.
Pearl
October 18, 2011 at 12:22 am
Miss Demure Restraint
OMG what a horrible way to be dumped. Another vote against.
Thanks for the kind words though, dear friend.
October 18, 2011 at 3:25 am
beautifulchaos2
I had no interest in Facebook either, but after awhile I let a friend talk me into signing up, so I got a fb page and spent a day or 2 looking around trying to discover what all the fuss was about and I found it almost painfully boring. I went, I saw and I left…quickly.
Did you get my reply email about graphics? I hope it helped, but I also posted some info on my blog about it.
Have a wonderful night.
Nikki
October 18, 2011 at 3:29 am
Miss Demure Restraint
So sorry Nikki about not answering your e-mail. That was so rude, I can’t believe it. I’ll get on it right now.
Thanks for your input on the Facebook.
Things are stacking up on the con side of the page.
October 19, 2011 at 12:18 am
Androgoth
Well I don’t have a Facebook either and who cares what all the other users do? I mean let’s face it you haven’t really missed out on anything by not joining it, and besides all that on the wall stuff seems so boring to me, indeed if I wanted to be sat on a wall it wouldn’t be one on a Facebook wall that’s for sure 🙂 lol ‘No Don’t Bother With’ It is what I think… Stick to what you know my friend and give that over rated Facebook a nudge into a really big hole… Well something like that anyway? 🙂
Have a wickedly fine rest of evening now Miss Demure Restraint 🙂
Androgoth Xx
October 19, 2011 at 12:22 am
Androgoth
I wonder if joining Facebook would
improve my typing skills 😦
Sorry about all those grammatical
errors on that one my friend…
Have a nice Wednesday 🙂
Androgoth Xx
October 19, 2011 at 5:12 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
Guess I wouldn’t make a very good editor. I didn’t notice.
Rock on 🙂
October 19, 2011 at 5:11 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
Thanks for your take on it. Your opinon pretty much parallels how I have felt.
Have a good day, Androgoth
October 22, 2011 at 4:56 pm
Androgoth
That’s good so no Facebook for you either then? 🙂
It is over rated if you ask me, and there’s loads that
find it utterly boring regardless of how brilliant it is
supposed to be 🙂 lol It is hard enough keeping up
to my own Space in WordPress without joining one
like Facebook, I have had hundreds of invites to it
since I started blogging in 2007 but nooooooooooo
I am not interested in it… facebook that is 🙂 lol
Androgoth XXx
October 22, 2011 at 5:41 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
It is little wonder to me that your blog site is a major undertaking. It definitely reflects the effort. I can’t imagine. I’ll admit, I’m envious.
Later
October 19, 2011 at 5:48 am
pepsoid
Facebook is what you make it. There is enormous potential for time-wasting, but you have to not get drawn into it. I’ve found it great for keeping in touch with people I wouldn’t otherwise have time to keep in touch with – and making some new friends; not going down to the pub or whatever, properly-socialising-with friends, but friends nonetheless. And I’ve recently linked my Facebook and WordPress accounts, so I think my blogs are getting a bit more readership.
And it’s also fun and silly (and there’s nothing wrong with a bit of silly!)… and great for sharing photos! In fact, for me, it is by far my major source of sharing pics with family and friends.
What else? Well for me, through Facebook and, more recently Twitter, I have been able to keep up with causes and the news – in particular, of late, the massively significant Occupy Wall Street movement, which is not being reported on mainstream TV.
Having said all this, having been a Facebooketeer for several years now, I can’t imagine how complex and mind-boggling it all must be for newbies – and there are the various security/privacy issues and the changing formats, which I personally think too many people make too much of, but they are things to be considered.
But in the end, it’s your decision and you shouldn’t feel under any pressure to conform or anything. And if you don’t want to do the Facebook thing and you’ve been quite happy thus far without it… then just don’t!
October 19, 2011 at 5:17 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
Time is significant for me right now and Facebook does seem overwhelming.
I’m also disappointed in the lack of coverage of Occupy Wall Street, Occupy Seattle and the whole movement in general. IMHO, they have a just cause and deserve much more coverage. It makes you wonder why?
Thanks for weighing in.
October 19, 2011 at 12:54 pm
enreal
I don’t facebook… It is more of a time issue. Between work, reading and writing I find little time to even blog. Maybe one day when I’m old and retired ;)… for now I will say no, once again…
p.s. you’re funny
October 19, 2011 at 5:19 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
Thanks for stopping in Enreal. I hear ya sista!
Nice to have someone “get” the humor.
October 19, 2011 at 10:26 pm
Phil's Lounge
I know I obviously can’t tell you what to do but my advice is….”Stop, don’t do it….stick to Blogging.” lol!
I have just come off FB ‘again’ for the second and last time.
Don’t get me wrong, it is good for re-connecting with people you DO want to get in touch with….especially if you have buddies overseas.
But, you’re right, FB has become the online ‘Big Brothers House’ for the masses, where everyone tends to share the most trivial things and get the most amount of support for doing so…only encouraging the offenders.
If you try to raise a few serious topics, or pose the cerebral ‘what ifs?’ you’re left out in the cold, by most..not all.
We tried to use it to network, for business, but people just aren’t interested in using it constructively and seriously.
The system has recently become more and more intrusive with so many lock-downs and restrictions…can you believe they have given people permissions to now stop showing specific individuals news feeds…I mean, how’s a man supposed to promote his Blog posts if people can now switch off the notifications…lol!
Ok, I’ll stop there or else it will turn into a heavy rant…
As for hating rejection…It’s obvious that we all hate it, but I have a question…
Why are us men always expected to ‘suck it up’ and embrace it? lol!
See you around… 😉
October 19, 2011 at 10:41 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
Not looking good for clicking that link. Only two for and the against, like you, are mighty persuasive.
Thanks for your input Phil.
October 19, 2011 at 10:52 pm
Phil's Lounge
You’re welcome MDR,
Glad I could be of some help. 😉
October 19, 2011 at 11:09 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
I just had a thought . . . Maybe I should have used Miss Demure Restraint on my application instead of my real name. I wonder if that would have helped? 😉
October 19, 2011 at 11:28 pm
Phil's Lounge
lol!…hahahaa…..
Now that may have pushed your application pass a second interview and straight onto the induction program. 😉
October 20, 2011 at 8:24 am
Aneesa
I think that name would certainly have worked lol
I love my Facebook but use it mostly to chill than anything else. Its a great way of keeping in touch especially with friends and family abroad, it’s the easiest and most inexpensive way.
I also run a small business through fb with my partner abroad. It just makes life do much easier at times.
Sometimes I deactivate when I feel like it. If I’m busy or just fed up with it.
Recently I had to use the local library computers. There were 10 people using them when I went in ( I counted ) and all were signed into them.
I don’t see anything wrong with fb it’s really a matter of choice and how you choose to use it and how much importance you give it.
I know people who live on it and post every intricate deatail of their boring lives on it. I also know people who don’t have it and they seem really happy too. 🙂
October 20, 2011 at 1:20 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
Thanks, Aneesa, for thaking the time to contribute your insight. The ayes are so much less vehement than the nays. I wonder what that’s all about?
October 21, 2011 at 4:47 am
pepsoid
“The ayes are so much less vehement than the nays. I wonder what that’s all about?”
– although there are, of course, exceptions, the answer, I suspect is something like this:
On the whole, people who use & enjoy Facebook don’t think much about it, aren’t trouble by their usage of it and just pick and choose the bits they like. Like Aneesa, they use it to “chill.”
I may incite a backlash in saying this, but I suspect much of the naysaying reflects back on the personalities of the naysayers, highlighting aspects of their personalities they maybe did not want to admit to or confront – specifically perhaps hitherto hidden or unacknowledged addictive aspects. No one has to report on every trivial aspect of their lives or get caught up with all the games and apps on Facebook, but I don’t doubt there are those who “can’t help themselves” and blame Facebook for “wasting their time.” Also there’s the rejection/insecurity issue – I’ve never personally worried about people not accepting friendship requests or whatever – it’s their loss if they don’t want to enjoy my regular doses of wit and wisdom! 😉
October 21, 2011 at 4:34 am
pepsoid
“I don’t see anything wrong with fb it’s really a matter of choice and how you choose to use it and how much importance you give it.”
– couldn’t have put it better myself, Aneesa!
October 20, 2011 at 1:32 pm
Aneesa
You either love it or you hate it 😉
…. And there’s google 😛
October 21, 2011 at 4:49 am
pepsoid
PS. Aneesa, I think your Gravatar pic is beautiful! Mind if I ask what it is/who the artist is?
October 22, 2011 at 1:18 am
John
Facebook’s moment has passed. Save your clicks!
October 22, 2011 at 1:58 am
Miss Demure Restraint
Do say. Any inside info on what the next big thing is going to be?
October 22, 2011 at 12:52 pm
John
Ahhh, if I knew this I’d be the next Mark Zuckerjobsgates!
October 22, 2011 at 3:28 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
Zuckerjobsgates! I love that.
October 22, 2011 at 4:21 am
pepsoid
Has it? Why say ye?
October 22, 2011 at 7:40 am
Aneesa
I don’t take very well to rejection either so I never send friend requests to anyone. If you know something is going to wind you up just refrain from putting yourself in that position.
I found my gravatar on the Internet and I love it too but sadly I have no information on it. I saw it, liked it and decided to use it. Thanks for liking 🙂
“regular doses of wit and wisdome” just love it 😉
October 23, 2011 at 5:37 am
pepsoid
Well I do send out occasional friend requests, but only to people who I pretty much know will accept or who I’m not particularly bothered if they do or not… although I suppose if those “people who I pretty much know will accept” didn’t accept, I would feel pretty rejected! (not yet happened, thankfully…)
The gravatar looks a bit Japanesey-manga-y… although more “arty” than your average manga. I may have to take it as my mission to discern more!
October 24, 2011 at 1:12 am
Aneesa
I found the pic on line… I love it… Sometimes I use it on my fb too 😉
Why anyone would reject you is beyond me 😛
October 23, 2011 at 4:51 pm
jdsomphalos
Absolutely with you on this one. ‘Till lately, thought my wife and I were the only people on the planet avoiding the entire Facebook friending and especially twitter phenom. Love your point of view.
October 23, 2011 at 5:03 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
Oh yes, Twitter. Now I know that won’t work for me. I can say anything in less than . . . what is it . . . 150 characters. Well, at least not anything that makes any sense or nonsense or you get where I’m going with this. I’m thinking of starting a Facebookophobe organization (people with a fear of or strong aversion to Facebook). You and your wife would certainly be invited.
October 24, 2011 at 5:21 am
pepsoid
You could set up a ‘Facebookophobes’ Facebook page… 😉
October 24, 2011 at 5:25 am
Miss Demure Restraint
Now that would be cool!
October 24, 2011 at 5:41 am
pepsoid
Amazingly, Demure, there is already an “I Hate Facebook” page on Facebook with 26,477 members…!!
October 24, 2011 at 1:43 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
So, as I understand it 26,477 people on Facebook . . . hate Facebook. Can you say Oxymoron?
October 25, 2011 at 6:37 am
pepsoid
Can you say Masochist?
October 23, 2011 at 11:28 pm
Bob T Panda
I have a shameful confession…. I am on facebook, although I CLAIM that is for “work” purposes. After all, I need…I mean really need to watch 20 or 30 panda videos a day so as to “study” panda movement and behavior, as well as discover the inner lives of pandas. Are you buying this? Me neither. Don’t do it unless you have some masochistic urge to waste vast swaths of time. It’s kind of like potato chips. Hard to stop, bad for you, but feels good while you’re doing it.
October 23, 2011 at 11:33 pm
Miss Demure Restraint
I don’t know how you do it. This blog is proving time consuming enough I think.
Thanks for the input.
PS – Not buying it. 😉