I often feel isolated and alone.  I search so to find something I sense is missing in me or missing from my life.  Somehow I seek always for this thing in the company of men.  I never quite fit in with the female inhabitants of my general vicinity and men seem so much stronger and more evident.  I’ve known many women with a vast network of friends.  I am not one of those.  When I count my friends, most all are men.  Few are the women in my life, fewer those I truly admire and aspire to.    

Somehow, I was blessed.  Karma, perhaps, choose to smile on me and a beautiful poetry was provided in my life. . . Zen and Justice.  What better names for these two?  Both of them reached out and touched my life and my soul.  Suddenly I did not feel so alone.  Their words always did I hear in my head, always knowing exactly where a thing would go before it got there over and over with both.  The beauty and grace of them parallel and unparalleled.  Just to know them inspires me to continue on. 

Zen.  Oh that I were more like you.  She who searches as I do . . . after the things that I do . . . in this time that I do.  Her words reflecting my struggle.  In that I understand to my core her aspirations and yearnings, oh that I were so pure and resolved as she in the quest.  I know I lack her commitment and devotion in seeking true inner peace.  Though I truly commiserate with her in the labor to find love, I am frequently left smiling when her words reach me an echo of that which resonates inside my head. 

Justice.  Oh that I were more like you.  She who rages as I do . . . at the wrongs as I do . . . in much the way that I do.  Her words could be mine even to style.  In that I know to the depth of me her insecurities and fears, oh that I were so brave and honorable as she in the battle.  I know I lack her passion and fervor in setting what’s needed right.  Though I truly empathize with her the pain of damaged love, I am frequently left smiling when her words reach me in tempo with that which aches inside my heart.  

Zen and Justice.  Oh that I were more like you.  That I feel such affinity mightn’t that not indicate I could reach what I aspire to.  To attain such that I see in both of you . . . artistry, elegance, dignity, poise, honesty, nobility, character, integrity . . . this a worthy ambition.  I may not be gifted as you with such virtues, yet could I not learn from you and by association with you grow to be something more than I am today, something better, something admirable too.  Could I truly be more like both of you?   

Zen and Justice.  Each so like her name no better could I imagine to describe either.  Just like their names, zen and justice share great commonality both providing a peace. a balance, an equity and most importantly, a strength.  Would that I were made of the stuff of these two.  I hope that maybe, I am just a little.  I’ve never felt like everybody else.  I’ve never really fit in any place.  I’m different.  Then so are they in much the same ways, yet they have found a path that eluded me or maybe it just looked too steep. 

Zen and Justice.  I see you up ahead of me and you lend me the strength to attempt the climb.  Oh, I know that I will stumble.  I may even fall.  It is my ascent and only I can make it, but your confirmation and support makes me resolute, gives me courage.  When I can’t see the summit, I can see you and know it is a thing I can attempt too.  These are the women I would emulate.  Neither has been given an easy path, but they are not deterred.  Both have made their difference their beauty, their reason.   

Oh, that I might someday be so beautiful too.

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