It matters not the earliest flowers are pushing their way up through the soil towards the promise of the sunny days to come.  It matters not that the harsh cold is yielding to the first signs of spring’s warm glow.  In my heart, the frost and shade still hold sway.  In my heart, the gloom casts its ominous shadow. This is all that is left to me now that you are gone.  It is winter in my soul.   

I remember it was not so very long ago.  My heart was as a fresh young maiden, ripe and blushing, ready for anything life had in store for me.  I was happy and content in my way.  I thought I had what I needed. I believed those things that tormented me were behind me.  I was ready for life’s next grand adventure.  All was golden sunshine and bright, new possibilities.  It was spring in my soul. 

Then there came such a wondrous warmth into my heart.  It was the spark of a brand new love and you brought it to me.  I basked in the radiance of those emotions that grew to a blazing, dazzling illumination that lit the entire world around me.  I committed myself to this perfect passion without reserve.  No matter there was snow on the ground and a chill in the air.  It was summer in my soul. 

Somehow, the heat of our infatuation waned in you.  You gave no reason only withdrew yourself from me, your heart moving to a place both aloof and cool.  My affection and devotion was no match for your angst and fear.  I held you for but a short time longer.  Each day the light dimming.  Each night the fervor fading.  Each moment the season turning.  It was autumn in my soul. 

It matters not that spring is now the season.  I do not feel it.  It matters not that others in the world still love.  I do not feel it.  It matters not that I put forth the smiling mask for the benefit of those around me.  I do not feel it.  For me there is only the harsh, barren wasteland left behind in the wake of your passing and the question, how long must I suffer this bitter winter in my soul?

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