Soooo Not My Feet

Things that are so not sexy about me 

My walk – I’m slightly bowlegged and my steps bounce a little like I’m going to start sprinting. I move too fast for a lady. It’s from years of walking with men that are significantly taller and faster than me. I don’t like being left behind and I would never let them slow down for me, so I developed a long striding pace that, although not very seductive, allows me to keep up. I never wiggle like a girl is supposed to. I tried once and almost fell down! 

Snoring – I haven’t heard this myself, but have been told on numerous occasions that I do, in fact, snore. I can’t imagine how attractive that must be, but it probably goes well with the drooling. 

My feet – I hate my feet. They are so not sexy. Fred Flintstone has sexier feet than me. Most especially my little toes are gross. Don’t ask, just trust me . . . very unsexy feet. Aaauugghh! 

Long Underwear – Oh yes, I have capitulated and am now wearing long underwear in an effort to fight my way through this winter’s cold. Have you got any idea just how NOT sexy long underwear is? OMG! I pray I’m not in some terrible accident and have to be rushed to the hospital. I will die for certain as anyone seeing how ridiculous I look in my long underwear will surely be too busy laughing their asses off to save me.  

This is a work in progress, I will expand the list as new and wonderful flaws to my perfect sexiness are discovered or revealed to me.  TTLY

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