Waiting

Waiting for joy
Waiting for enlightenment
Waiting for anyone
 
Waiting for more
Waiting for satisfaction
Waiting for someone
 
Waiting for bliss
Waiting for restoration
Waiting for everyone
 
Waiting, waiting, waiting
How many things for which I am waiting?
 
Waiting, waiting, waiting
How much time must I lose just waiting?
 
Waiting, waiting, waiting
How is it I spend my life waiting?
 
Still . . . I’m waiting. 

Contentment

I will laugh and smile
Reasons
     Hope
          Love
               Passion
                    Desire
                         Pleasure
  
I will hold happiness
Using
     Trust
          Faith
               Caring
                    Regard
                         Support 
   
I will know some peace
Motives
     Calm
          Quiet
               Soothing
                    Accord
                         Serene
  
I will just be me
Object
     Charm
          Thrill
               Teasing
                    Amuse
                         Intrigue
  
I will have you too
Intent
     Lure
          Excite
               Joking
                    Engross
                         Interest
  
Contentment is just a frame of mind.
  

Declaration of Me

Where do they come from?  My words.  Sometimes I look back at a thing I wrote and I think, “That came out of me?  How?”  Is there some higher power that sometimes speaks through me, to me?  It seems that there, in fact, is.  A perfect example is the tag line on this blog . . .
 
Lost I may yet reach my goal . . .
Without finding all that I seek . . .
I may still be made whole.
 
I have no idea where that came from.  When I setup the blog, I was happy with “Carpe Diem, Baby” as the tag line.  It is a song and I like the poetry of the lyrics.  I also love the translation . . . Seize the Day, Babe!  It worked for me.  I wasn’t looking to change it.  I was satisfied with it.
 
Lost I may yet reach my goal . . .
Without finding all that I seek . . .
I may still be made whole.
 
This my defiant response to my cosmic error message was not a thing I thought to write.  It is rather a thing that (as sometimes happens) appeared magically on the screen before me.  It was an afterthought in another post.  It came out seamlessly and without need of any edit or revision.
 
Lost I may yet reach my goal . . .
Without finding all that I seek . . .
I may still be made whole.
 
The words popped onto the screen and I almost deleted them.  These three lines didn’t fit the style in the rest of the post.  Geez, they rhythm!  Still, those lines somehow provided me closure for both the post and certain nagging questions that endlessly follow me . . . my little demons of self-doubt.
 
Lost I may yet reach my goal . . .
Without finding all that I seek . . .
I may still be made whole.
 
These words more an acceptance than an epiphany, I believe I knew them to be true always.  I just lost contact with that as I was swept away on the quest for what I thought I needed.  I feel the message to myself in these words.  I feel the validation of my life and my pursuits.
 
Lost I may yet reach my goal . . .
Without finding all that I seek . . .
I may still be made whole.
 
I had just changed this site to make it more my own and somehow these words kept calling to me.  They were nagging me.  They screamed to be seen.  They needed to have a permanent place on the site and the tag line was it.  This is my declaration to the universe.  My assertion of what is right for me.
 
Lost I may yet reach my goal . . .
Without finding all that I seek . . .
I may still be made whole.
 
I need not follow any given path.  I find so much more meaning when I wander.  I seek, yes, but it is in the search that I grow, not the finding.  These three lines perhaps more than anything else written here define me.  These three lines perhaps more than anything else are who I am.
 
Lost I may yet reach my goal . . .
Without finding all that I seek . . .
I may still be made whole. 

Inside Me

There is such a love inside me
I have no doubt that it is there
I can feel it still within me
I have so very much to share
 
There is passion too inside me
Trust and desire are also there
These I do nurture within me
One day it is my hope to share
 
There is as well pain inside me
Ever I feel it lurking there
I keep it caged deep within me
Its not a thing I wish to share
 
If you see all that’s inside me
If you embrace all that is there
If you know what is within me
No less than my life I will share
 
I’m waiting

Thank You All

I have met some of the most wonderful, caring, understanding and supportive people of my life through this blog.  I never imagined what was here.  When I started this I was totally unaware of the potential to become part of such an amazing community of artists.  Yes, bloggers are artists!  Now it is like a home to me.  Here I rant and rave, cry and laugh, hope and dream, comfort and am soothed in return.  Here I am what I would someday be in the real world . . . just me! 
 
Update . . . My medical crisis was, in fact as many of you surmised . . . a lack of sensitivity on the part of my healthcare provider.  I will be undergoing an outpatient surgery procedure next week, but I’m strong and healthy.  I’m more resolved with my emotional status than ever before in my life.  That is because of my friends in the electronic world.  For the first time in my life, I KNOW there are people like me.  People that feel like me, think like me, and will be there for me. 
 
Thank you for your support.  You know who you are.  If you are new here, please see my Blogroll.  There are the links to my cyber neighborhood, the friends that have come to mean so very much to me.  Bless you all for your kindness and friendship.